LisaUk Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 u guys were all right my family attorney who my parents have used for years specializes in divorce but commonly practices with business law.He told me to go the police station and file a restraining order so now she cant come around and change the locks and to file an emergency petition for full custody.cops just left restraining order is in place now to the courthouse at nine.i would love to take all the emails print them out and put them in the bathrooms at her work.she is a general manager at a well known company.or post them all to facebook,after i show them to her first Hi As tempting as this would be please don't do anything that could be construed as revenge or vindictive, it will go against you when you apply for custody in court. Remain whiter than white, do everything by the book, the fact you have a restraining order on her and the police present when she is served will be enough of a shock for her for you to get a bit of satisfaction from, don't take it further! By all means tomorrow or tonight get on the phone and expose her affair to her family and friends but don't say anything defamatory/untrue or post any e-mails or other forms of communication anywhere. Generally an action in defermation is only possible when the information communicated is untrue, well no probs there then, but the court will proably not look upon it too favourably! Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 hello to my maths the bomb may have dropped:eek: my wishes are with you. dont be alone. nobby xxxxxx Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 Bravo! Just what I would do. Revenge so fast it would take their breath away. You have the ace in the hole with the emails, (people are so stupid to save stuff like that) but certainly don't use it yet. It will come in very handy when negotiating about the kids. Yeah, wonder how she would like some of that to get out and about....just hinting at that will make her go white as a sheet. And the beauty is, all the places those can go with just one push of a "SEND" button.... BTW, if there is joint custody, she cannot take the kids to another state. She is dreamin....but now she's in a nightmare;) that she brought on herself! You go, bro! Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 hope you are ok. Nobby xx Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 2, 2010 Share Posted April 2, 2010 hello. i really hope you are coping. i have to sleep but i hope you are holding up well nobbyxx i will hope for you im my sleep:) Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 Nobby here again:) How are things? Nobbyxx Link to post Share on other sites
mikeymad Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 You really want to find out how this whole thing went down huh nob? Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 3, 2010 Share Posted April 3, 2010 I do.......I had nightmares last night about it being on the news thismorning:eek::eek: Shoot out or summot.ewwwwwwww it was horrible:confused: Nobby:love: Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 (edited) sorry everyone for no updates its been tough as u all know.she denied everything even with the evidence right in her face. shes leaving but wont w/o the kids so here we are in a stalemate.dont know what to do next.(she said that our marriage was already over when she met him )hello still married dummy.u didnt file i did Edited April 4, 2010 by 528sosba Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 hi. oh thanks for getting back i was really worried:confused: so you are in the same house and she is refusing to go? what about the restraing order? is it not worth the paper its written on or did you cave? ( it was a tough thing to do for you so I get if you did ) Nobby xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 no i didnt cave its not worth a crap Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 :mad::mad: oh. well stick to it and you have the facts. She is running scared an so she should be:mad: be whiter than white and stay on track with ur plan. be a step ahead huggs nobby xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 now i have to try and get some kind of assistance because i cant pay for everything by my self when she leaves.this sucks.i dont even know where to start Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 the come down from a confuntation is a massive low. are you US or UK? and depending on your state if US it changes on your rights. you had advice from a freind of you parents yes?? well keep talking, you need to have information and good information too. We here at LS can advise and support you on every step but you do need your bottom covered legally. Free advice it great froma legal person but not from here for the legal. you are always gonna get a hug here. cover your ass soldierboy! nobby:love: Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 sorry everyone for no updates its been tough as u all know.she denied everything even with the evidence right in her face. shes leaving but wont w/o the kids so here we are in a stalemate.dont know what to do next.(she said that our marriage was already over when she met him )hello still married dummy.u didnt file i did So now starts the "gaslighting". You have the CD right?....She's got to bluff now because she has so much to lose and her hand isn't good. Does her family know about this yet? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 The ones that asked i told them so it will start going around the family quickly.I live in us missouri i have no family here by myself and of course i have all of you Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 OP-You did the right thing. Missouri is a no fault state, but you can receive some assistance from the estranged spouse, visit the website below. http://www.divorcenet.com/states/missouri/mo_faq01 Also, although a no fault state, conduct will be considered in custody issues, ask your lawyer about that with her affair. That 22 year old has no desires to raise some other man's family, she's really dumb for falling for that, even if the 22 year old *imagines* he could enjoy it, he has no basis in reality. I imagine that relationship is going to blow up really soon, because he isn't going to pull through for her when she needs it. And don't let the children be moved one mile more than the max in Missouri law if she gets custody, do ask your lawyer. Otherwise, keep your chin up. Find friends and family to talk to, see a psychologist for the stress and to relieve emotions. Don't take to drinking--worst move you could make. We don't know your history, but make it squeaky clean right now if it hasn't always been. Link to post Share on other sites
Gunny376 Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 OP-You did the right thing. Missouri is a no fault state, but you can receive some assistance from the estranged spouse, visit the website below. http://www.divorcenet.com/states/missouri/mo_faq01 Also, although a no fault state, conduct will be considered in custody issues, ask your lawyer about that with her affair. That 22 year old has no desires to raise some other man's family, she's really dumb for falling for that, even if the 22 year old *imagines* he could enjoy it, he has no basis in reality. I imagine that relationship is going to blow up really soon, because he isn't going to pull through for her when she needs it. And don't let the children be moved one mile more than the max in Missouri law if she gets custody, do ask your lawyer. Otherwise, keep your chin up. Find friends and family to talk to, see a psychologist for the stress and to relieve emotions. Don't take to drinking--worst move you could make. We don't know your history, but make it squeaky clean right now if it hasn't always been. The "Force Is strong with this one IT is! The thing I like about you "You Go Girl" is that you've been thorugh the mud, the blood and the beer, you walk your post from flank to flank and don't take any s*** off any rank! You keep on being you! Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 thanks everyone she came to me this morning and said her affair was over and wanted to reconcile.(Blood blood bright red blood)u guys called it.I told her we should still get the divorce and maybe try dating (just to get her to calm down)this is never gonna happen.couldnt believe she is so selfish to put me thru that again.once a cheater always a cheater in my book.We are gonna work on the 50/50 custody schedule like adults.i hope. Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 ohmy, wow... do you feel you could never love her again? even with help? tell you what.........i went to councelling with my 1st hub, wont post on here what he did, all i will say is try it. vent and vent away. let her hear your dissapointments ans her yours in you. if it doesnt work out for you too what have you lost? and i am telling you you have lots to learn. be a better man, dad the whole lot. and if it works.....ur unit again. if not well you and she will have a greater understanding. win win. will you suggest it? nobby xx Link to post Share on other sites
You Go Girl Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 The "Force Is strong with this one IT is! The thing I like about you "You Go Girl" is that you've been thorugh the mud, the blood and the beer, you walk your post from flank to flank and don't take any s*** off any rank! You keep on being you! awww...blushes...thank you Gunny. That's quite a compliment. I accept. Your posts are very uplifting often, I love your "put on your big girl (or boy) britches" attitude. It's really what so many here need to do. OP--you're the success story of the 180 everybody here talks about. Now you have a choice, the ball is completely in your court. You may decide that forgiveness is impossible, because you have standards, and burn me once shame on you, there will be no burn me twice shame on me. But, reality has hit her like a ton of bricks, it appears? Just make sure you really want to let her go--and that it's not anger that is your motivation. Either way, the work ahead is huge. Would you rather face that work ahead with her, or without her? I understand not forgiving her. Don't know if I could in your shoes either. I'd say leave her in a heartbeat if there wasn't children. Children give me pause on quick dissolutions. I think of their pain. Whatever you decide--keep coming back whenever you need to. Link to post Share on other sites
dazzle22 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 thanks everyone she came to me this morning and said her affair was over and wanted to reconcile.(Blood blood bright red blood)u guys called it.I told her we should still get the divorce and maybe try dating (just to get her to calm down)this is never gonna happen.couldnt believe she is so selfish to put me thru that again.once a cheater always a cheater in my book.We are gonna work on the 50/50 custody schedule like adults.i hope. Wow. Wow. Whatever happened to "our marriage was already over when I started seeing him"???.... You have her over the proverbial barrel now...I wouldn't take someone back like this either. Not after lying about it, denying it, and then saying that...can you spell T O A S T ....? Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 11, 2010 Author Share Posted April 11, 2010 she hasnt called or talked to the kids in 7 days now.cant go to jail for this she needs too.im tired of lying to my kids for i say she is at work and real busy that is why she cant call.should i keep doing this how do i explain Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 11, 2010 Share Posted April 11, 2010 Oh dear, My ex went away to be with his new chick for a month. Did he call his children.............nada. As far as excuses go you just have to shrug and say you dont know why she hasnt called end of. I didnt remind lowly this time and he actually went the whole time with NC to his kids. They both have e.mail and mobile phones.............he had no excuse. All you can do is love your kids and be a brilliant dad. They will be ok in time. Nobby xx Link to post Share on other sites
Author 528sosba Posted April 23, 2010 Author Share Posted April 23, 2010 been seems like forever she left with her new man whereabouts unknown now going thru court process toget full custody....I WIN Link to post Share on other sites
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