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what the hell goes through a dumper's head...?


bananaboat11

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bananaboat11

I don't get it. I know Facebook means nothing, but the day she dumped me... she blocked me. Fine. Three months later... unblocks me. I block her. THen I'm told to unblock her. I do. SHe sees me post on a neutral friend's wall after hers, but no relation to her post (clearly, I'm in NC and ignoring her)... She blocks me again. FIne... I go to look at my friend's fb wall... there's the ex posting away.... she unblocked me again.... What the hell?

 

 

BAD BAD BAD BREAKUP mind you.... I don't get it and I komy I'm clearly over analyzing this... just annoying as anything!!!!

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DustySaltus

For someone who is initiating NC you seem to know an awful lot about what she is doing. I had an AWFUL breakup too, I know how you feel. She's playing games but you're enabling her. Just ignore her. Otherwise your going to continue to rip the band-aid off before the wound heals.

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Rearden Metal

Yeah we played this blocktarded game, too. I finally just blocked her for good 3 weeks ago. Only way I'd unblock is if we somehow met in person, reconciled (and she grovelled, basically) and then dated for a few weeks. THEN I might unblock.

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bananaboat11

I think... I think...

 

...I believe. I believe it's b/c she either hates or misses me too much to just let go... even if our relationship was only sexual... she is still 'attached' somehow and through her pride... hoping I notice her block/unblock game and that I'll contact her like I did in the beginning of the breakup (week 1 and week 3 post-break up)...

 

I need to remove myself from facebook entirely.

 

You just dont' block someone and unblock someone multiple times by ACCIDENT. :rolleyes:

 

thanks so far for the responses. Breakups suck.

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This could have all been avoided if you had never unblocked her. Or just block her and be done with it.

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I don't get it. I know Facebook means nothing, but the day she dumped me... she blocked me. Fine. Three months later... unblocks me. I block her. THen I'm told to unblock her. I do. SHe sees me post on a neutral friend's wall after hers, but no relation to her post (clearly, I'm in NC and ignoring her)... She blocks me again. FIne... I go to look at my friend's fb wall... there's the ex posting away.... she unblocked me again.... What the hell?

 

 

BAD BAD BAD BREAKUP mind you.... I don't get it and I komy I'm clearly over analyzing this... just annoying as anything!!!!

 

You are better off slittng your wrist than to keep doing this...crazy!!!

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bananaboat11

k. i did it. i blocked her indefinitely.

 

it's kind of funny... I remember having a dream about her last night... don't remember what it was about... then I find she unblocked me on FB. fun times.

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I agree. Take from us or learn the hard way. fyi...I learned the hard way....extremely painful!!

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Facebook has been the groundbreaking invention of recent times for all of us to keep in touch with friends, reconnect with acquaintances we've lost touch with from school etc., and in some cases even to form completely new friendships.

 

However, between two people who have shared something much stronger than just friendship but now no longer do (nearly everyone here methinks), it is one of the most damaging and divisive tools around. Snooping around your ex's profile either gives you too much or too little information to what you were hoping, and in the end, neither do you any good whatsoever. Your brain will still proceed to mull over this information indefinitely and come up with some pretty wonderful conclusions, probably light years away from the truth. Either way, you'll just suffer more and put your recovery date back by a few more weeks.

 

[side note: as soon as I started treating getting over a broken heart the same way as you get over a sporting injury, my outlook changed enormously. If you break your leg, no-one needs to tell you any of the following:

 

that you won't heal straightaway

that your recovery won't necessarily be linear (i.e. there will be good & bad days)

that one day you'll heal 100% and the pain will be barely a memory

that broken bones heal stronger than the original bone ever was

that you need to do everything the doctor tells you re physio and resting and light exercise etc. because he's seen many more broken legs than you, however unique you think your injury is...

 

Thought this might help, that's all...]

 

The verdict on LS regarding FB is unanimous: it's a bad thing, particularly in the months following a breakup. Obviously block your ex and be done with it - if she wants you back she'll do more than just unblock you. If you've got mutual friends via whom you might end up seeing/hearing something about your ex, think very carefully before looking them up too.

 

I say give the whole site a wide birth for a good while yet until you get to the stage of genuinely, genuinely not caring.

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k. i did it. i blocked her indefinitely.

 

it's kind of funny... I remember having a dream about her last night... don't remember what it was about... then I find she unblocked me on FB. fun times.

 

FB help me put the nail in my coffin for getting my ex back. You dont want to know her moves...Im telling you. Good job B

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Her blocking you was to get over you faster - keep you from contacting her. Then when she found out that you blocked her, it was a knife in the gut, and her ego. Thats when she demanded you unblock her. Thats it. But you did the right thing.

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bananaboat11
FB help me put the nail in my coffin for getting my ex back. You dont want to know her moves...Im telling you. Good job B

 

 

Thanks all. Your responses are much appreciated!

 

9lives... the difference between us is my ex won't be coming back. I am not guessing. I know it. But, no loss. Life goes on.

 

thanks again =)

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Thanks all. Your responses are much appreciated!

 

9lives... the difference between us is my ex won't be coming back. I am not guessing. I know it. But, no loss. Life goes on.

 

thanks again =)

 

yeah ....no coming back...:(:(:(:(

 

No use in even trying.

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bananaboat11
yeah ....no coming back...:(:(:(:(

 

No use in even trying.

 

 

their loss.

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..The verdict on LS regarding FB is unanimous: it's a bad thing, particularly in the months following a breakup....

 

Absolutely! Your advice is spot on!

 

NC almost 2 months now, and I have been avoiding going to any sites that my ex is on. However, I did snoop on his new gf's page a few times in the beginning but not anymore. The urge is still there, but I am controlling it well. So far. God help me.

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before i wrote this you need to understand my ex wouldnt add me to facebook. Never bothered me till he blew up and explained i would hit the roof over what he says and who with!!! 12 months before break i add.

 

Facebook is for chit chat and freinds. Why would you class an ex as a freind? if one of your freinds had hurt you that bad you wouldnt think twice.

 

exes are not freinds. why should you want them to know how you are?? vise versa> Dont get it.

 

nobby xx

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before i wrote this you need to understand my ex wouldnt add me to facebook. Never bothered me till he blew up and explained i would hit the roof over what he says and who with!!! 12 months before break i add.

 

Facebook is for chit chat and freinds. Why would you class an ex as a freind? if one of your freinds had hurt you that bad you wouldnt think twice.

 

exes are not freinds. why should you want them to know how you are?? vise versa> Dont get it.

 

nobby xx

 

Good point!!

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I don't get it. I know Facebook means nothing, but the day she dumped me... she blocked me. Fine. Three months later... unblocks me. I block her. THen I'm told to unblock her. I do. SHe sees me post on a neutral friend's wall after hers, but no relation to her post (clearly, I'm in NC and ignoring her)... She blocks me again. FIne... I go to look at my friend's fb wall... there's the ex posting away.... she unblocked me again.... What the hell?

 

 

BAD BAD BAD BREAKUP mind you.... I don't get it and I komy I'm clearly over analyzing this... just annoying as anything!!!!

 

Ah, good 'ol Facebook is either your best friend or your worst enemy. It can be used as a WMD very effectively, and Bananaboat I know exactly where you are coming from. However its when we let it affect us, that its like pulling a pin from a grenade and dropping it at our feet. We do it to ourselves, stupidly we look and they hope we are watching (Pulling wings of insects.) They post their 'desperation' i.e their new, great life they (suddenly) have without us. It's laughable really. However after the dust settles you realize how impossible it is to just truly replace someone. There is something unique in all of us that they just won't get from anyone else. I think that is where this desperation to hurt us comes in, especially if you are in NC with them. Have the strength to realize its all theater. Hope this helps you my friend. Hope it gives you some perspective. Face-book is just a perceived reality, remember its virtual. Not real. Face-book isn't nasty, but its medium if used by malicious people can make it seem that way.:)

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Ah, good 'ol Facebook is either your best friend or your worst enemy. It can be used as a WMD very effectively, and Bananaboat I know exactly where you are coming from. However its when we let it affect us, that its like pulling a pin from a grenade and dropping it at our feet. We do it to ourselves, stupidly we look and they hope we are watching (Pulling wings of insects.) They post their 'desperation' i.e their new, great life they (suddenly) have without us. It's laughable really. However after the dust settles you realize how impossible it is to just truly replace someone. There is something unique in all of us that they just won't get from anyone else. I think that is where this desperation to hurt us comes in, especially if you are in NC with them. Have the strength to realize its all theater. Hope this helps you my friend. Hope it gives you some perspective. Face-book is just a perceived reality, remember its virtual. Not real. Face-book isn't nasty, but its medium if used by malicious people can make it seem that way.:)

 

This chick that is in the same social networking group of the chic my ex is seeing wanted to be my friend. Im like hell---no!!! Trying to be nosy

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