I cheated on my boyfriend and still can't get over the guilt.

[Jeska16]

I cheated on my boyfriend in 2008 with another man. I had sex with the guy 2 times and was with him for a month. I feel so disgusted with myself and I regret it so much. I finally had the courage to tell my boyfriend and luckily for me he forgave me and we have been working on our relationship ever since.

 

I can't get over the guilt of what I have done because I ruined my boyfriend's relationship with his cousin who got pissed off at him for taking me back. I don't blame her. I'm just really confused why I did it in the first place and swore I could never do this to my boyfriend. This guilt and unwanted thoughts and the experience haunts me everyday. Is this normal? I can't get the unwanted images and the things I did out of my head cause of the other guy.

 

I don't know if it was just I was getting attention from the other guy or something else. These thoughts scare me and I just feel so damn guilty all the time. I love my boyfriend and i don't know how I can cope. Are these feelings normal?

Edited March 31, 2010 by Jeska16

[BlueeyedJonesy]

First of all good for you. It takes ALOT of to actually admit to someone you love..that you did that. second are you in counseling? if not..I would definetly recommend it for you to work through this. Guilt will suck the life out of you if you let it, but since your and your BF are working things out I think you just need to be positive. His cousins relationship with him has nothing to do with you..that is her fault for being a nosey biotch. I dont understand why people do that? I understand caring about someone but its not like you did this more than once..don't even blame yourself for that.

[Disintegration]

The guilt means you have a conscience which is good, at least you feel remorse and told your bf. Maybe give counseling a shot to let go of the guilt and move forward with your life with your bf.

[dazzle22]

Well, you have owned up to what you did, talked to your boyfriend to make amends, that's more than a lot of people do. There has to be a reason. Counseling is a great idea to get at why. So is journaling. Just free flow journal and see what comes out.

[Zik]

wow he must be a really good dude to stay with you, if that was me I'd be extremely hurt and that would be the end

 

why you cheated on him in the first place? did you not love him?

 

Sorry I just don't understand why people cheat, a relationship is a commitment

[samsungxoxo]

Sorry I just don't understand why people cheat, a relationship is a commitment

I don't understand either but maybe I can help you with this question. There are times your partner can frustrate you about certain qualities or attribute they're lacking but you kept quiet as a way of not hurting them by being brutally honest about their flaws.

 

There were times my boyfriend used to angered me with certain lame issues that I would sometimes develop thoughts on cheating on him. However, I never acted out but was I really capable of if another man had shown up at the exact moment, in the right time and place (had I been further pissed off)? That's the question I used to ask myself sometimes and till this day it had no definite answer.

I don't think it matters now because I never cheated and have learned a way to control my temper.

 

As for the OP, I'm glad to hear your relationship is working out. Remember to be there for him is he needs to vent out, cry, be sad, etc. He is handling his hurt and with couple counseling it will strengthen your relationship.

[Full Moon]

It's glad you know what you did was wrong and you have changed your ways. Now, it's time to forgive yourself. Your BF forgave you but you must forgive yourself. Continue being a better woman and GF. Above all else, love and take care of yourself. Pray, chant, or get counseling. Just do whatever it is you need to to learn how to forgive yourself. One day you will get there. I wish you well.

[Jeska16]

Thank you for the kind words and advice. I really appreciate it =]

[boogieboy]

Talk to you bf about it. He might know what he could have done wrong for you to temporarily check out of the relationship to cheat. You werent fullfilled in some way, all you can do to help this along is find out what way that is.

[Dexter Morgan]

I can't get over the guilt of what I have done because I ruined my boyfriend's relationship with his cousin who got pissed off at him for taking me back. I don't blame her. I'm just really confused why I did it in the first place

 

 

its such a load of bunk when someone says they didn't know why they did it or are confused at why they did it.

 

its simple....people cheat because they are attracted to someone and wanted to eff them.

 

you know why you did it, you just don't want to admit it.

[Dexter Morgan]

First of all good for you. It takes ALOT of to actually admit to someone you love..that you did that.

 

I can respect her for at least that.

 

 

His cousins relationship with him has nothing to do with you

 

it has everything to do with it. flesh and blood want to look out and protect each other. she has every right to sound off her opinion that he is making a mistake for taking her back.

 

his cousin is blood.....his gf is not.

 

 

I understand caring about someone but its not like you did this more than once..don't even blame yourself for that.

 

"I had sex with the guy 2 times and was with him for a month":o

[learned2 love 2late]

"I had sex with the guy 2 times and was with him for a month"

 

Women these days