SPEric566 Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Hello members, I recently broke up with a girlfriend two weeks ago. The relationship was nine months. We had some issues but it ended with nothing severe..being that neither of us cheated or nothing like that. She said the spark was gone and she wanted to be friends. She said there is a chance of a future relationship if I can change my negativity issues and depending on how fast I do it. Initially, I said no friends. I saw it as once I become in the friend category I will forever be in it. We still texted back and forth for two days after the breakup. Then I decided I did not want to be friends. I did not text her on the third day. That night she went and unhid her dating profile on a dating site. I decided to try the friend thing after in hopes of winning her back. She met someone new on there and started talking to him. Soon I was not getting replies to texts anymore at night probably because they were talking. On a friday she said she was going out with friends and instead it was a date with this new guy. I got lied to of course. However, on that Saturday morning she seemed to talk more to me again. We saw each other the rest of the weekend and spent some days of the week together as well. I noticed she is answering my texts quickly and answering her phone again. Almost like this new guy is being pushed away. On that Saturday I kissed her again. She stalled for a sec and then kissed me back. Every time I see her now I kiss her when I leave and try to be affectionate. My dilemma is this. I am worried something happened between her and this guy..or maybe she is afraid we will end up how we were before so she is waiting longer to see how this works out instead of being an item with me right away. She does not seem to be talking to him much anymore. Although now she carries her cell phone everywhere with her. She still is texting a lot back and forth when she didn't do that before. When I try to lean up against her or try to hold her hand, she will do it but after a minute or so she will use it to pick up her phone or whatever. Almost like she lets me touch her but then she feels guilty and lets it go. She is making no effort to be affectionate with me. It makes me feel as if I dont put any moves on her, we wouldnt be touching period. So I don't know if this a guilt because she lied. She doesn't know I know she lied. Or if this is because she was intimate with that other guy and feels guilt and is trying to get over her guilt before she can be intimate with me again. The funny thing is, she also is making plans with me in a few months to go on a vacation with her in a one bed hotel. That to me means she plans on staying in a bed with me. For supposedly having no emotion for me until I gave her that kiss seems to show she still had strong feelings for me. I feel her heart is saying one thing and her mind the other. But why make plans like with that vacation but feel distant at the same time? Is this stuff normal women go through when getting back together with an ex or did she do something she is afraid to tell me about and keeping her distance for now because of it even though we are making future plans? Any help would be great. Link to post Share on other sites
The Paper Knight Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Once another guy is on the scene, you are probably playing second fiddle and don't even know it. I would back the f*ck up and see this for what it is. - she breaks it off - she starts seeing another guy - she hides things from you - then gets back with you If her ego was spiked by the other guy and you are a soft target, then she will get what she wants from you. Let me guess, you try talking about this other guy and she gets mad right? Don't get played, back up and stop giving her so much attention and spend some more time with your mates. Link to post Share on other sites
Rearden Metal Posted March 31, 2010 Share Posted March 31, 2010 Once another guy is on the scene, you are probably playing second fiddle and don't even know it. I would back the f*ck up and see this for what it is. - she breaks it off - she starts seeing another guy - she hides things from you - then gets back with you If her ego was spiked by the other guy and you are a soft target, then she will get what she wants from you. Let me guess, you try talking about this other guy and she gets mad right? Don't get played, back up and stop giving her so much attention and spend some more time with your mates. DING!!! I'm gonna take this advice, too! Link to post Share on other sites
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