Would you give her the benefit of doubt?

[FryFish]

She basically told me to take what she said about "sleeping in her friends bed with her clothes on" for face value

Your therapist is an idiot. I think maybe you need a male therapist.

[faf]

It's all in how you frame things.

 

Any girl you date has the right to do as she pleases. If she wants to hang out and insists on having her guy friends, she's free to do that. You can't really control what she does or how she thinks. Don't waste your time trying. You can't control someone else.

 

But you can control you. If you don't like your girl hanging out with guy friends all the time and having sleepovers, then just say so. And if she doesn't respect your concerns, then decide what the consequences should be. If it were me, I would end it. I wouldn't be bitter or angry, but I would end it. That's my line and I don't want it crossed. There are plenty of other women out there who won't do this to a guy. You have to decide what your boundaries are and then decide what you're going to do when people cross the threshold of what you consider to be unacceptable. Nothing more, nothing less. That approach takes a lot of stress out of dating.

 

Good advice!

[AMM003]

Sorry guys to spinoff from my original post:

 

Like I mentioned, I haven't tried to contact her since I picked up my stuff. I haven't had any intention. Well, maybe I came close twice when I was ripped stinkin drunk on a couple evenings. But I didn't

 

After NC for a week and half. She did text me yesterday. She wrote "Hi! I hope you have a fabulous day!)

 

Lol. What the heck is this?

 

Hey all! If she has all these guy friends, why the text? Is she testing our "friendship"? I responded with, "hope you have a good day as well.".

 

Is that not friendly with nothing implied?

 

More feedback would be greatly appreciated.........

[Bryanp]

She likes knowing that she can still pull your string. She is the type of person who likes to have lots of male friends and wants all of her male friends to continue liking her. She likes to play with them (you) and you responded exactly as she would have liked. By responding to her the way you did she makes light of what she did and knows that you still like her. Is this really what you wanted to convey?

[phineas]

A few days later, she is visibly upset. She tells me everyone and everything is pulling at her. and she doesn't have time for everyone and to do the things she needs. That she had to get all these things done and couldn't do our weekend.

 

my STBXW pulled the same stunts on me when she couldn't figure out how to cancel on her boyfriend that didn't know she was still married.

[AMM003]

You know some things that really suck at this past relationship:

 

The fact that I was really "blind" to all the signs. I have no idea why I just didn't act or say anything when I noticed what was going on. Or ask further questions. Or just f'in walk away. Did the mighty vagina have me that blinded? Sheesh......

 

The fact that this breakup seems to be hitting a little harder than my 5 and half year relationship. The last one was an LDR the last couple years. But it seemed that because it was an LDR and lots of distance, NC went so much easier. This past one seems tougher this time. Maybe the cause is closer proximity? But it was only a frickin 2 month realtionship! For crying out loud.... Thank god fer my pride or I probably would've contacted her.

 

Why the heck would she even frickin send me a text? Where is her f'in guilt and conscious?

 

I can't believe I responded! After all the stuff I read on here. And the success of my previous NC. Why the heck did I respond? I even wrote all the PROS and CONS of a relationship AND a friendship down on paper to visually see the difference. And the list of cons far, far, far out number the pros of each. But yet, I still look at the stupid pros and I catch myself thinking, "we could still do that as friends". WTF is this about?

 

And again, it's only just a 2 month relationship! Almost 3 months since our first conversation. And my common sense is screaming, "you don't even know this B**ch!"

 

Go figure, beer's talking tonight.............

[cooldudeinberlin]

Dude... kudos for you.... you sound like you are a responsible, take charge, confident guy that keeps cool, calm and collected...

 

you didnt inquire into the weekend anymore, didnt let it haunt you, but you took the hint that you didnt want to be in a situation that you have to wonder or even go around asking other people about it... followed your instincts... got your stuff, ended it like a gentleman with dignity and moved on.

 

good for you....

 

since you have moved on, I have nothing to say about your original post... only compliments and admiration of standing tall and being a man.