xrocknrolldudex Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I had a class with a girl in the fall of 2003 at the community college i go to. I didn't talk to her for a month or so because I didn't think anything of it. She hung out with a group of people that hung out with one of my friends. We started talking but only as friends..but I saw something in her that I had to pursue. .. Sometime in the next week her and some friends were talking about places they have never ate at..she just happened to say my favorite place so i said hey im going to take you there in a few weeks and she goes "oh okay." I took her to lunch a week before we went to my favorite resturaunt. She caught on that I had an interest in her but she thought I was a "Goofy Bastard" with cool concert shirts. The night I took her to eat she had a blast and she wasn't sure if it was a date or only a friend thing. I held myself back and kept it as a friend thing as I knew she wasn't interested in a relationship and hadn't been for about a year (She has a kid she takes care of and a bunch of other details that would take days to type). After that, I didn't hang out with her for or talk much to her for 2 or 3 weeks...something made me go and talk to her again and right off that we became good friends and started to trust each other. She took me out for my birthday to a comedy club where we both had a good time. I then slowly started to fall for this girl more and more every day. When Christmas came around she gave me an ornament and a picture frame that she has had for 4 or 5 years but was waiting to give it to a special person..and inside of it was a picture of me and her from my birthday. We hung out off and on that week..but didnt hang out for New Years. In Between the time I have known her and New Years she got really sick and had to have surgery to see if she had a tumor, but everything was alright and she really started to appreciate me for being there with her through the whole medical thing and appreciated my advice because I had medical problems similar to hers. During this passed week and a half we hung out more and more and talked more and more..but I didn't want to make a move because she wasn't ready to for a relationship and I didn't want to overstep any lines or limits. Sunday night We watched a movie at my house and towards the end i jokingly layed my head on her lap and she started giving me a head/hair "follicle stimulation" as she calls it and we talked for an hour following the movie. The next day while I was working she called up and wanted me to come over but didnt want me to stay late because she wanted to sleep because she is a lil sleep deprived. We started watching a movie and I returned the favor with the massage but extended it to the neck and shoulders. We were watching something on tv after the movie and she said something and started kissing me. I was in shock because the day before she said she didnt want a relationship while at the sametime she was wanting me to make the first move..but she said that it was good that i didn't do that and let her do it so she knows shes ready...but something told me she still wasn't ready... Yesterday she called me up and wanted me to come over and I knew kind of what she wanted to talk about. She told me she likes me..she really really likes me. ..just shes used to herself and her lil girl..but she has never had a guy like me she said that was so good..but at the same time she had this icky feeling about starting a relationship with me..or anyone for that matter..kinda of scaired that if something happens she would lose me as a friend..but still knows that I would be her friend no matter what....she also said for some reason she felt like a slut after kissing me..but she didn't understand why she did because she likes me a whole lot and thinks im really cute..and shes even confused..and so am I. We talked for 2 or 3 hours about how we felt last nite and this is where im at now... My question is... How can I ease her mind since she is not emotionally ready and how do I keep myself in the game with her? She says im doing everything just fine and keep doing everything that I am doing..but I just wanna know how to Ease her mind and talk more and more about it. but i duno... Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 just contiue being her friend and don't initiate sex, that may freak her out. just take it slow...sounds like you are doing things good, even if yyou do not know what you are doing...maybe she doesn't know what to expect, and with a kid she has a lot more riding on her decisions. Link to post Share on other sites
moimeme Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I agree with Sarah. Take it easy. Wait until she's ready and do what she suggests. It's great that she's communicating her feelings and telling you what she needs instead of just shutting you down. She will really appreciate it if you let her decide when she's ready without pressure. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xrocknrolldudex Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 i jus talked to her and we both said we feel like crap..frustarting 4 us both cuz she wants to hookup now but thisfeeling is stoppin her..but she reassured to do everything i am and u 2 made it clear too..thanx...ill let u know how everything goes.. phil Link to post Share on other sites
Spengles Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Wow, this sounds like exactly the same predicament that I'm in. I've known this girl for a couple years and I admitted that I had feelings for her a few months back. I've always received mixed signals from her and not too sure what to do. A couple nights ago, we kissed and messed around a bit. She told me that she felt like a slut for doing so. She told me that she really liked me but she just wasn't ready for a relationship. It seems like we keep on having the same conversations over and over. Afterwards, we both feel really drained emotionally. It's just really confusing and frustrating because I don't know whether to still pursue her or just totally treat her as a friend. Link to post Share on other sites
Author xrocknrolldudex Posted January 15, 2004 Author Share Posted January 15, 2004 im definatley going to keep persuing her until she cleary says no more..but yes it is very confusing Link to post Share on other sites
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