yes Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I feel like there's a wall between all the other students and I - a see-through wall that prevents you from hearing the other side. I can talk to many people about classes and other college-style small-talk, but it never goes beyond that .... after a few minutes, i feel like the other person is ready to go and is just being nice finishing the conversation. As you can tell, I'm feeling isolated as hell. Why does everybody (OK, many people) have cliques of friends, and I see them walking around laughing, chatting all day, hanging out, having lunch together, and I'm always on my own? I know the first advice I'll get is to join clubs - doing that, - just emailed a few clubs, and re-establishing connection with the club i was involved with last year. But it seems like most people don't need to be involved with clubs and all - they just meet in class and somehow hit it off. I'm not even speaking of all these cozy couples I see all over the place. *sigh* -yes Link to post Share on other sites
tattoomytoe Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 people in cliques, mainly feed off of each other, well the hard core cliquees. i often have the same trouble, feeling isolated, like nobody understands where i am coming from. hell, i do not even know where i am coming from half the time...... i have a lot a friends that are 10 years plus my senior, and the reason- i relate better. my younger friends(my age) i relate on some levels with them, but i think i am just a more mature person. but it is good that you are at least conversing with other people, talking with them and sharing ideas....gives you a higher chance at having repeat meetings with these people, whiich is just the chain in friendships..... Link to post Share on other sites
Arabess Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I think some people are just more naturally shy and withdrawn than other people. It's a little harder for them to find the right 'niche' for themselves. As a child, I was very shy. My Dad was in the military when I was born and I could speak German more fluently than I could speak English. I had a pretty tough time. I hated school. Finally, my Mom told me that my shyness was probably being picked up as 'aloofness' and I should make an effort to appear more friendly and accessible. We worked on it together.....and it did change my social life. I also have met people thru life who truly appeared unfriendly....probably because they ARE shy. The wall is often put up by them.....not the other way around. You can smile at them....and they look the other way. I can see they don't have anyone to hang around and have went out of my way to befriend them in some capacity. Sometimes they are receptive....often times they are not. It's as though the more contact you make with them....the more they pull back. Maybe you could try smiling and making eye to eye contact and let those around you know you are interested in being friendly and making friends. It really DOES make a difference!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
steffany Posted January 14, 2004 Share Posted January 14, 2004 I always have friends and hit it off great with people. I went to three different colleges and had friends in each class that soon became friends off campus. May I suggest something? Be overly out going! You can just say you had lots of sugar that morning. Be very up beat and talkative. Chatty cathy should be your nick name that day. And don't talk about class. You cannot make friends for after school when all you know about each other is school. And don't worry about what someone may be thinking! If you are talking and it seems like they want to end the convo and leave...then how interested are you in what you are saying to have noticed it? People like people who make them feel happy...always use their name! Tell them you like something about them. I like your new do! Cute earings are they james avery? Share. I love when some one has m&m's and asks if I want a few! But honestly if it isn't your home town it's going to mean you have to meet everyone and break into a few high school cliques. Ya know? Link to post Share on other sites
Author yes Posted January 14, 2004 Author Share Posted January 14, 2004 Thanks for your replies! I know it's me who puts up the wall & not them. I've also been told in the past that I come across as snobby and shallow, while i was just shy and awkward. I am somewhat picky about the people I associate with, as well - perhaps it's too obvious, I don't know. I've also been told, more recently, that i'm very friendly - indeed, i easily talk to strangers and new people, but it just runs dry very quickly. Hm, perhaps i should be more open and not be afraid to seem awkward, - try not to cover it up with "oh, i've got to go, anyway". I also find it easier to get along w/ older people, btw - I think it's because they know how to make me more comfortable (truly, not superficially), and to smooth over my awkward moments. I have tried to be more aggressive - like suggesting going for lunch together and what-not, but it hasn't rlly worked ... nobody refuses, but it just doesn't go well (dry, tense) and so it dries up instantly. Ick. "Chatty cathy", haha, I will try that one day! -yes Link to post Share on other sites
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