How long have you been NC?

[confused and broken]

LC prior to around Thanksgiving. After the Thanksgiving-ish thing, I knew No Contact was going to have to happen, so I enacted it.

 

NC after that, until we spoke around the turn of the year -- I did respond...so I had to restart the clock.

 

A flurry of communication from him that I didn't respond to happened after that, I'm strict in how I personally count "what is No Contact" for myself -- so even though I did not respond I had to say, "Absolutely NO more." Blocked, and got on. That happened around Valentine's Day-ish.

 

So, I have been incommunicado since around VDay, with no more coming!

 

It has been about 2.5 months now. Feeling lots better lately.

 

It is unlikely I will ever be so indecisive in putting an end to relationships again.

I absolutely never want to be so on and off again about a relationship... from now on once its over its over

No more screwing around because thats all we were doing lol

8 day NC.. and still feeling strong... watch I'm really going to do it this time

[dazed-days]

Known her for over twelve years now. I saw her in a crowd last month and for the first time in all those years we purposely stayed away from each other. I felt really felt weird that day.

 

We dated casually during some of those years but between mid 2008 late 2009 we were pretty solid. When we first split it was mutual and I went 2 weeks until I went to see her. After that night I went about another 4 weeks of LC. We got back together during the holidays and then split again in January. I think she just didn't want to be lonely during the holidays. I haven't talked to her in about 100 days now. She was pretty rude to me the last time we talked. I have gotten an email or two and some random texts from her but I've stayed on my path and not responded. She was drunk one time and reached out to me at her birthday party. The second time was last week. Saying she saw me that day and hoped I was well. i didn't respond to that - it was more of a statement so nothing worth replying to.

 

I have heard she has asked some mutual friends about me often enough though. But nobody is giving her any info on me. I'm thinking she wants to reconnect on some level but is a little reluctant given my ignoring her. Who knows. I'm supposed to be at a party soon where I'll know she'll be. Should be interesting if I even go. I'm actually thinking of bailing on that whole thing anyway.

 

So 100 Days - WOW I actually had to look that up. I knew it was around the three month mark. And she has been the one to initiate any contact.

Edited April 28, 2010 by dazed-days

[deux ex machina]

I absolutely never want to be so on and off again about a relationship... from now on once its over its over

No more screwing around because thats all we were doing lol

 

 

8 day NC.. and still feeling strong... watch I'm really going to do it this time

 

How are you holding up, C&B?

----------

 

I'm updating mine...by the end of next week it will be three months.

 

A quarter of a year, then. And what a quarter it was.

 

Spring is coming on strong. This time last year, it wasn't.

[LK30]

I'm now about 3 months NC since Feb. I must be the only one not finding it making much difference (altho perhaps it is helping and I don't realise!). Still very very tempted to contact her and still think about her everyday and hope she'll msg me out of the blue, but I guarantee she won't. Mixed views about NC for sure even tho it appears to be the best advice. To be with her just for one day would be great to relive things just so I can have a day's respite from all this!!

[yume]

I'm about....2 months & 1 week.

 

It sucks...because we work together and when I went in today to get my schedule he was sat there on the couch in the staff room and I could tell he was looking at me...

 

I can't see how I'll ever stop missing him.

[bluz73]

5 long agonizing months..i suspect if he and his new teen girlfriend would have parted I would have heard from him by now, but thats okay, i can see clearer now. It has been the worst pain I ever felt, this man cut me of cold turkey, no response to my letters, texts or phone calls, like i did something horrible to him, he is the coward who chose a different road to take.

Its been bout a month since his new gf emailed me...thats just like another stab in the heart so i have blocked her after her bragging they got an apartment together blah blah blah..

I dont love him anymore I dont feel nothing but numb and the memories of fun times are replaced with the ******* that broke my heart!

[cp3_panda]

|----EDIT----| Wow.. I just noticed.. I posted 14 days ago on this same thread.. completely forgot about it. I have made so much progress lol. I very rarely relapse and when I do.. it is very small. Jesus I have come so far.

__________________________________________________________________________________________________

 

I have been NC for 32 days. It feels great now.. I still think about her at least a few times a day but it no longer gives me that feeling of loneliness or despair.

 

I feel quite happy in my resolve that if she came crawling back tomorrow.. that I would not take her back. I know that deep in my heart.. I will still love her, even if I am not in love with her.

 

I was a miserable wreck the first 2 weeks after breakup(2 weeks before full NC). I never thought I would progress this far as an independent single person again. For the first time in a long time, I feel enpowered.

 

I do not see her contacting me any time soon. Simply for the fact that she has someone right now.. and he has been there 4 months before our relationship ended (4 year relationship).

 

We were each other's first loves and by the time we broke up, she had absolutely no emotions for me whatsoever. I guess thats what happens when someone detaches themselves from you for months just waiting to exit.

 

For the dumpees out there, trust, eventually you will find your self-worth once again. Although I have been flirting and dating around, I am perfectly happy being alone, which is something I never thought I would be able to say 3 weeks prior.

 

In retrospect, I feel that my ex will eventually find out what a gem shes been missing. By that time, the window of opportunity will already be closed, and although I know I will still love her.. it will be at a point where I will no longer be able to do anything for her.

Edited May 7, 2010 by cp3_panda

[Pentel]

from 24 of december,4 months 14 days more or less

[pleasebelieveme]

It will be three years next month. Not a single day goes by that I don't feel some level of pain.

 

-pbm

[daddypop1]

Wow, after 3 years u still feel pain? I have that to look forward to? I was with my ex for 13 years... I hope Im not feeling that after 3 years - --

[sandiego]

1 day, ugh. And we've been broken up for 7 months! I don't have a hard time avoiding initiating the contact.....but she will call or text me after 4 or 5 days. I've avoided responding...but after several of her phone call attempts and multiple texts, I have a very tough time simply not responding at all.

 

I was not perfect in our relationship, but was always willing to work on things...she just liked to avoid, and one day just bounced.

 

Says she just wants to be friends and "see where it goes"......total false hope/breadcrumbs, but the part of me that wants her back thinks I should maintain some degree of contact...what to do. It's hard.

[pleasebelieveme]

Wow, after 3 years u still feel pain? I have that to look forward to? I was with my ex for 13 years... I hope Im not feeling that after 3 years - --

 

I wouldn't say that I'm cowering in the corner with tears in my eyes every day...I get on in my life just fine. When I say I feel pain every day to some degree is that she pops in my head at least once each day (often much more), and with each thought of her the sting of the breakup and what I miss about her comes with those thoughts. There is no such thing as thinking of her without the pain...not for me, anyhow.

 

-pbm

[daddypop1]

Says she just wants to be friends and "see where it goes"......total false hope/breadcrumbs, but the part of me that wants her back thinks I should maintain some degree of contact...what to do. It's hard.

 

I hear u on that. After my ex tried to come back to me 3 times she quickly changed her mind and said we need to be friends and parents first. The whole time she has had somebody else that she "loves to death". It is complete false hope. We were friends. Sorry, I dont want to be friends with someone that ****s with my head.

 

Pbm - I feel that way alot of each day. Mostly anger now...Mad that she can treat this new guy so well. I have been with the same woman(girl) since I was 18 yrs old. Wouldve been fine going the rest of my life with just her. I can imagine that alot of the pain and anger will subside once I find someone new....I take it u havent yet??

[dan_the_man]

Two and a half weeks.

 

First week and a half was hell, but since then it has been easy. Been out, socialised with friends and made some new ones.

 

I still think about her, but those thoughts pass easily.

[amz]

4 weeks on WED no contact.

 

I wonder what they think? or if they are also doing the NC?

 

First one to break.

 

Only time will tell.

 

Love Stinks.

[sedgwick]

Two years next month, and a year before that (a year after we broke up, he called me, and I essentially told him to f*ck off.) Still love and miss him terribly.

[Cantcope]

20 days. Some good, some ok....but can't shake the thoughts. While awake, while asleep...I feel doomed. I know we're through. Know he was no good for me. But the thought of him sharing the heart that he kept guarded with another woman....makes me sick to my stomach.

[confused and broken]

 

 

 

How are you holding up, C&B?

----------

 

I'm updating mine...by the end of next week it will be three months.

 

A quarter of a year, then. And what a quarter it was.

 

Spring is coming on strong. This time last year, it wasn't.

 

31 days NC I can't believe it

I am doing really well

There have been some days that are almost impossible because I miss his friendship more than anything

It's hard to meet really cool people that you totally connect with, but at the same time when they also fU(^ with your mind all the time it's not worth it

I know that doesn't make that much sense but he has two sides... the one that is perfect when we are hanging out and then the one that gets all weird and funny and everything is on his schedule on his time... then he is such a jerk I can't even understand how it is the same person

he used to text me and if I didn't get his text right away and texted him later when I got it (for example when I was working and not on my cell) then he wouldn't text me back.... what a freak!!!!!!!!!!

Fu**ing issues

One of the biggest things for me has been realizing and accepting that I will never understand what his problem is

It will never make sense to me and that is okay I don't have to understand everything

[Rarinbug]

2 days but this is after a few days of talking and her breaking my heart yet again. In the way that hurt most. Before that it was about 6 or 7 weeks, this time I want to last as long as possible, as much as it hurts to say it, preferably forever.

[jv032889]

5 days...I'm so proud of myself. I've been staying really busy with friends and school work. Busy, busy, busy is the key.

[cmichael16]

1 week today!

[processing]

Been broken up for two months now.

 

Ex broke NC 3 weeks after first break up date. I was doing fine with the breakup the contact screwed me up. Would have rather he not contacted me at all, so I told him.

 

2 weeks later he breaks it again and pursued me for about a week until he gave me a heartbreak story about getting hurt, so I fell for it hook, line and sinker and we spoke off and on for about a week but the conversation always led to me asking what his intentions were. And finally him agreeing to answer some questions about the new friend he met while we were dating. Led to a even bigger argument than the first time he contacted me. But getting everything out somehow felt rather good. I ended up telling him I didn't want to know him and unless what's her name is out of his life, I'd rather him not contact me. Infact unless he wanted to reconcile, don't bother.

 

So it's been about 2 weeks since then. I'm half expecting him to contact him in another couple of weeks maybe sooner. I thought I'd never hear from him the last two times and I was okay with it so maybe this time since I'm thinking I'll hear from him... he'll not contact me again.

 

He didn't give me enough time to heal (he met another woman and they developed a emotional attachment - I broke up with him after he lied and right after that... they begin to date). He wants to be friends or/and keep me on the backburner I'm guessing just incase it doesn't work out. I don't know. But whatever.

 

I'm hoping that this time it'll last a bit longer. I blocked him from fb and my email.

[cypresa]

been split up a year. He's been contacting me alot wanting to see me etc.

 

I finally cut contact properly and he wasn't happy about it - met up after he begged and I asked him what his intentions were with all the contact. He said he misses me, likes having me in his life but we couldn't get back together because he still wasn't ready for life-time commitment.

 

I said then that is it - no more contact from you! So i guess if i'm honest it's been 2 days NC!!! It'll be sooo much easier this time. And this time it will be for good on both our parts (although that terrifies me right now).

 

It's the only way for me to move on properly...

[Heatemyheart89]

Ive been nc for about 6 days. really is the end now. Thank goodness!

[Teffy79]

Just 1 day! It sucks! I broke up with him over 2 weeks ago. I answered his calls at first, but I stopped that a week ago.

 

But he hasn't lasted more than 1 day of NC without emailing about "business" that I HAVE to respond to. Stuff like, "I accidentally had something shipped to your house. Will you be there to sign for it on xx day?" I'm still getting his important mail, and I have to let him know I have it, and then we have to arrange for him to pick it up when I'm not around. It feels never ending.

 

Even though we've kept it strictly business, I feel like every bit of contact is a setback. I start to feel sadness and anger and all that stuff that I'm trying to get past! I just want to move on now already!!!