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Lines you've been fed and devoured... (or spit up when he/she wasn't looking)

Just a stone's throw

By Just a stone's throw,
in The Other Man / Woman

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Just a stone's throw

Just a stone's throw

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This thread is for a little comic relief for all of us Ex AP's who are struggling or getting over the Ex MM in our lives who fed us some really cheesy or maybe some really delicious lines. And we ate them up... one by one... okay, I'll start (it's an easy one and I even knew it was BS!!)

 

"Oh my God - That is the best BJ I have ever had... if you ever quit your day job.... (I may be paraphrasing a bit but I have had 2 glasses of wine :rolleyes:)

 

Feel free to jump in because I know you have them.... and men, don't feel this is all about estrogen here, you can throw some gilted testosterone our way if you feel it fits!!

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threebyfate

threebyfate

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While I've never been an OW, here's a couple that I've read literally hundreds of times:

 

"My wife and I are sleeping in separate beds/rooms."

"I can't leave my kids."

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Just a stone's throw

Just a stone's throw

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Good... very good... you're all catching on...

 

A little comic relief could do us all some good today.

 

Keep 'em comin'

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pureinheart

pureinheart

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This thread is for a little comic relief for all of us Ex AP's who are struggling or getting over the Ex MM in our lives who fed us some really cheesy or maybe some really delicious lines. And we ate them up... one by one... okay, I'll start (it's an easy one and I even knew it was BS!!)

 

"Oh my God - That is the best BJ I have ever had... if you ever quit your day job.... (I may be paraphrasing a bit but I have had 2 glasses of wine :rolleyes:)

 

Feel free to jump in because I know you have them.... and men, don't feel this is all about estrogen here, you can throw some gilted testosterone our way if you feel it fits!!

 

Wow JAST, you crack me up! I love yours posts BTW...let's see, lines...there were so many, where do I start...lol....

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pureinheart

pureinheart

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While I've never been an OW, here's a couple that I've read literally hundreds of times:

 

"My wife and I are sleeping in separate beds/rooms."

"I can't leave my kids."

 

LOL....TBF....these are good especially when exDM's kids were all over 18..:lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao::lmao:.......

 

I think they were sleeping in separate rooms though...they hated each other....

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Just a stone's throw

Just a stone's throw

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Well, feel free. It's an equal opportunity post! Don't feel bad, it's all in good fun. We can all stand a good laugh, even if it's at ourselves. It may even help some of our friends like Tex and Joe!

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Just a stone's throw

Just a stone's throw

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Love the preview for the sitcome Parenthood (and I don't have kids so it takes a lot to get me roped) where the chick (don't know her name) is explaining about faked "o's" and says that it says "thank you for participating and we hope that you'll come again soon!" Well, it's not a lie, sometimes it's what you need to do to get by in the situation!

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StoptheDrama

StoptheDrama

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If only we'd met 10 years ago, we'd be together/I'd have moved in by now...

We (xMM & his W) haven't had sex in 2 years

I sleep in the spare room

I can't hurt my kids

It's not my wife, I won't leave my kids

I fantasize about you when I have sex with my wife

 

that's all that comes to mind right now but there are tons more. These were all spontaneous unprovoked emissions on his part :rolleyes:

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Fallen Angel

Fallen Angel

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If only we'd met 10 years ago, we'd be together/I'd have moved in by now...

We (xMM & his W) haven't had sex in 2 years

I sleep in the spare room

I can't hurt my kids

It's not my wife, I won't leave my kids

I fantasize about you when I have sex with my wife

 

that's all that comes to mind right now but there are tons more. These were all spontaneous unprovoked emissions on his part :rolleyes:

 

*insert confused look here* How did you let him get away with this contradiction, or did you call him on it?

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White Flower

White Flower

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*insert confused look here* How did you let him get away with this contradiction, or did you call him on it?

LOL, maybe that is what she is making fun of?

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Physical Graffiti

Physical Graffiti

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"We haven't had sex in 2 years" was a line?! Well, I'm not surprised I fell for it. A good looking man can tell me anything and I'll believe it. *still feels like an idiot*

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Just a stone's throw

Just a stone's throw

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FA, why so serious? No good lines from the olden days? Come on, dish hon!;)

 

(Also, I misspelled jilted - oops, tried to correct but waited too long. Yep, a bit of a perfectionist even on LS, though shouldn't bother me with some of the misspellings I've seen here) FA, this is not related to you whatsoever, just my random thoughts at this time of night in one post.

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White Flower

White Flower

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I better not go there....

 

Lots of fake O's though.

REALLY? Fake Os??? Why have an affair then???

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Ella whispers

Ella whispers

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oOOOH, this is good, I'll play.

 

There was never anyone else before you and there will never be anyone after you.

 

If I shipped you overseas w/ those BJ skills we would have world peace.

 

Where were you 16 years ago.

 

Why would I lie to you, you aren't my wife.

 

I have no reason to lie to you.

 

I love the way you talk back to me nobody else has ever done that.

 

No matter what happens I want to stay cool with you.

 

I feel the need to vomit now....

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anne1707

anne1707

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How about:

 

"I have never felt a connection like this before"

 

"Nobody has ever understood me the way you do"

 

"I wish I was going away with you" (when about to go away with BS)

 

"I just need more time - it's all so difficult"

 

"Please understand - I feel so torn"

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moaningmyrtle

moaningmyrtle

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I picked these up from his e-mails to her, (but forgive me for my own sarcastic comments in brackets):

 

I want the world to know how you make me feel. (But not my wife, my kids, my mother, my sister, my in-laws, my boss, my friends, my colleagues - you get the picture)

 

Our lives are still connected (after the A had ended and in response to a death in our family, after there had been a similar death in hers)

 

I love my wife like being in a boat on a wide river that I'll be on forever, and I love you like being in a small canoe on a rushing mountain stream that is about to founder on the rocks. (This was expressed in poetic form - I guess the rocks were more dangerous than they realised)

 

I like to think I energise every cell in your body when we have sex. (I can always hope there were a few fake Os I suppose)

 

I want to change your lightbulbs and would be honoured for you to do my cooking and cleaning. ( I just wish he had got her to do some of the housework when he had her round our place)

 

I want to tell you everything (but much of it will be outright lies)

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Spark1111

Spark1111

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Intercepted text that caused our DDAY:

 

Him: You are the one that I want. You are the one I want to kiss. I need to reach my goals and then I will take care of you and your child forever!

 

Her: Come back and hold me! Hold me forever!

 

(We were on family vacation with HIS family!)

 

Me: Well go get her you lying sack! What are you still doing here? Pack your bags and leave.

 

One month later.....

 

I don't want her, it is you that I love and want.

 

Is there a script somewhere that they follow????:lmao::lmao::lmao:

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Just a stone's throw

Just a stone's throw

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Ooohh! This is all so cathartic! I'm having fun, anyone else? You all are doing a fantastic job! Loving that we have both sides of this too, it's a real eye-opener!

 

Guys, really - we girls can take it if you'd like to play along. We know the exMW in the group (me) had some lines too! Turnabout is fair play.:)

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anne1707

anne1707

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Guys, really - we girls can take it if you'd like to play along. We know the exMW in the group (me) had some lines too! Turnabout is fair play.:)

 

As a former WS, you need to include me too. I know I came out with some choice lines at times :o

 

"I'll text you as soon as I get back from holiday" (when you know your phone can text from abroad but pretend it can't)

 

"I can't stop this. I just love you too much"

 

"I don't know how I would tell my family. They would be so hurt/disappointed"

 

"I'll tell him/her this weekend"

 

"There was no chance to tell him. There was a family crisis" (i.e. the cat was sick!)

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