One step back, one step forward

[Sevenscars]

I have returned to these forums, having fully lived up to my username. After a long personal battle, my life returned to normal. Going back to school, I met this girl and seemed to click with her, on a deep level. I asked her out and she said yes, only to text me a few hours before our date the next day and cancel. This made me stop pursuing her; after all, the signs she gave when she cancelled read "not interested," and though I was head over heels for this girl I didn't want to invest any emotion into something that would never come to fruition. I saw her a few days later (she shares a class with me) and the lady came up to me with a worried look on her face, asking me whether everything was alright. I acted normal with her, which seemed to ignite her attraction. Since then, every time i've seen her it's been quite an encounter. One day, she was all over me! The next, she kept her space. But I have been giving her a lot of space as well. One day, I saw her and her friend, and chatted her friend up (due to circumstances present), and the girl in question gave me a look that either said "Leave now" or "I'm too nervous to talk to you," almost like she was horrified. I don't know her feelings for me now, but i'm still not taking any chances in stepping forward; after all, I already took a step forward, and she stepped back. So now I have stepped back, waiting for her to show me she's serious -- to take a step towards me.

 

There is something about this girl, and I know it from the way I think about her. It's not like thinking about other girls, where usually the thoughts turn sexual (as normal when attracted to someone). When I think about her, it's always us side by side, and her in my arms, or her reaching for my hand, giving me an elation far more than any lustful thoughts would bring me.

 

I throw myself at the LoveShack community, in desperate need for advice -- LS members have always shown me the right way.