The Ex that never goes away...

[Sudevi]

 

Hello and greetings people

 

I write to you tonight out of a slew of emotions ..

 

My boyfriend apparently doesn't burn bridges, where I and most people I know live under the pretense that when something is over its over and its time to move on...

 

I can't ever remember an ex sticking around and wanting more than just a friendly hi there...

 

His facebook friends list includes his last 2 long term exs as well as at LEAST one ex fling... and he doesnt keep enemies.. male or female, always makes up at some point..

 

Since the beginning of our relaitonship the last ex, (we will call her Mandy) was all over my boyfriends facebook page (we will call him Bruce) commenting on EVERYTHING. Mandy and Bruces relationship lasted 4 years and has been over for 3 now. Mandy also has a boyfriend(who incidentally resembles my ex, same astrological sign too, that was total worthless info but id thought id include it:p). I couldnt help but wonder if she paied any attention to him w all the time she spent on my Bruces page...

 

She does not comment as much now, however, before Bruce and I moved in together, he posted pics of his remodeling and she commented on them.. and wish us to good luck ( she can shove it )

 

 

Bruces MOTHER also writes on Mandys facebook wall or status every time she signs in... I visited the moms page and on her current activity it listed her commenting on Mandys wall then commenting on Sudevis wall... but she only commented on my page once and repeatedly comments on Mandys wall...

 

is that wacked ... or am I wacked...???

 

I mean what planet am I from that this all seems like a nightmare to me ?

 

you make ask if I have spoken to him and the answer is yes and he says they are just friends, a friend that would let him sleep on the couch if he needed.... oh yeah and she works at a gym which she lets him in for free ...

 

 

Now today, I went on Bruces profile and i clicked on his "tagged" pictures and I see these pictures of him(which I swear on everything i love in this life) I have not seen them before.... there are 5 pictures tagged of him with Mandy while there were together hugging and cuddling in them all.....

 

apparently it dates back to October 09 and at that point we had been together for 2.5 months... I dont know how I missed these pics, i just saw them today and i have a very sick feeling in my stomach...

 

Does anyone agree with me that this is disrespectful to me...?

 

Does anyone agree with me that her posting these pics and tagging them indicate that she is still holding a flame for him...?

 

Does anyone agree with me that I have a reason to feel hurt, upset angered?

 

Does anyone agree with me that the past is over and the present is what should be celebrated?

 

Does anyone agree with me that Bruces mother is still attached to Mandy?

 

 

Does anyone think I have a reason to raise my eyebrow?

 

Can anyone see how I dont want to take another step closer in this relationship...???

 

 

I have yet to see or meet an ev with honorable intentions...

 

 

Does Bruce need to honor my feelings and remove these tags of himself on facebook?

 

He has picture albums of him and Mandy at his moms house.. isnt that enough?

 

 

Do I walk away from this man if he refuses to honor my feelings?

 

But is this my jealousy... is this an invalid feeling that I need to deal with or is this a question of respect...?

[TaraMaiden]

If this is such a big deal to you, actions speak louder than words.

Cut him off and find someone else.

people are people, and each one is different.

If you can'rt deal with this, and he won't meet you half way, then it's a no-brainer, isn't it.

If your BF never burns bridges, then his behaviour attitude and temperament isn't going to change just because you want it to.

Burn this bridge for him, and move on.

[LuminousZ]

I've been dealing with this issue for the past three years and I'm here to tell you TaraMaiden sums it up perfectly..,

 

If this is such a big deal to you, actions speak louder than words.

Cut him off and find someone else.

people are people, and each one is different.

If you can'rt deal with this, and he won't meet you half way, then it's a no-brainer, isn't it.

If your BF never burns bridges, then his behaviour attitude and temperament isn't going to change just because you want it to.

Burn this bridge for him, and move on.

 

 

 

Does anyone agree with me that the past is over and the present is what should be celebrated?

STRONGLY Agree!

 

 

 

Do I walk away from this man if he refuses to honor my feelings?

 

 

RUN.., This is just one example of how he will make you feel less than special. (Think Big Red Flag here)

 

You can't control his ways.., If you try, it will only end in disaster.

 

If I knew then what I KNOW NOW, I certainly would not have wasted another minute.

[and.then.some]

I don't make it a point to burn bridges either. I stayed in touch with exes and would have been a little POed if someone new came in telling me who I could and could not be friends with. However, with time, I started to see where the problem was. Some exes do want to stay around hoping that they will one day work themselves back into the picture. (Each one has tried AT LEAST once.) As long as an ex isn't crossing any lines of respect, then I don't really see a problem.

 

I think you may be making a little too much out of someone's chattiness or boredom. I have male friends who are married and exes with new girlfriends, and if we're friendly with one another we're friendly. For me at least, there's no hidden agenda there at all! (Not a chance lol.) If you like something you like it. It takes all of 2 seconds to comment. You may be putting more thought into it than they are.

 

However, when it comes to the pictures, I think that's crossing a line. Sure, you can keep friends, but there's no point in really broadcasting old memories such as those, especially when you know that someone is hurt by them.

 

If he's unwilling to remove or untag the photos then I'd take that as a red flag. Without the photos being an issue, I would say that everything else could be perfectly innocent.

[farmersgirl]

My boyfriends ex does the same thing... he took her off his facebook, but its a public profile so she can still go on and make little comments... I think sometimes she does it to spite me because he left her for me... it's crazy what some people will do!