Have a crush on a woman at work

[Monsoon]

Hi i'm newbie on this site but i wonder if anyone could help please

 

as the title of the post says i am developing very strong feelings for a woman at work.

 

We've worked in the same part of the firm for nearly two years but we only started talking last autumn when we went to have a conference together. Nothing happened but ever since then we've been saying hello to each other in the morning and exchanging the odd email or two.

 

The problem is that she is in a long term relationship and the guy she's with is what you'd call the perfect guy - talk, dark, handsome etc etc. They live together and seem very much in love.

 

I am old enough to know that there is no way she would leave him for me and indeed I would never dream of "stealing" another man's woman, but occasionally, during the course of the working day, i catch her looking at me in a way which seems to make me think that she may be interested.

 

I should say that at work i give the impression of being very stand offish with colleagues and its only in the last few months that she's seen me thaw. In fact i suspect if she has any feelings for me they are probably around the fact that I'm much warmer and funnier than she suspected.

 

Anyway i just don't know what to do. Help

[hopesndreams]

Fantasy land. That's all it is at this point. Who knows if she feels the same? If she does, and acts on it, what does that say about her? If you got what you wanted, she'd only do the same to you down the line. Those that cheat with you, cheat on you.

 

Are you after an ego boost? What better way to feel important than getting someone to choose you over someone else. Wrong!!

 

You need to work on your self-esteem and start a fantasy or two about single, unattached women. There are plenty of single women out there and they can be more of a challenge. Is that what puts you off?

[Monsoon]

Thanks Hopesndreams.

 

You are absolutely right about the fantasy bit. This is all in my head but its making me feel terrible. You are also right that those that cheat will continue to cheat.

 

I do however disagree with you about the ego thing. This really isn't about any oneupmanship on her current partner. This is all about how I feel for her. She's pretty, she's funny and I'd love to get to know her more. The fact that she's with someone is precisely why i am having the issues. If she was single I'd have no problems making my feelings known to her.

 

I take your point about developing relationships with single women and believe me when i say that all my previous relationships were with unattached women.

[Monsoon]

i want to tell her that i have a crush on her.

i know it will completely destroy the friendship and may make the office relations difficult, but i don't know what else to do

[Samari]

i want to tell her that i have a crush on her.

i know it will completely destroy the friendship and may make the office relations difficult, but i don't know what else to do

Well you can try forgetting about her and find someone else. There are plenty of fish in the sea. Don't limit yourself to some work-related infatuation. There will always be girls we desire, but we can't have for reasons like yours. Move on and find someone else. It's really not that hard.