Kanuk Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 I know a lot of you have followed my storey, and I know most think, as do I, that I'm never going to hear from the ex ever again, let alone get back together with her. SO here's my new problem (Maybe this should be in the dating forum, but it could apply here). I was at the bar last night with my buddies, and i noticed a kinda cute girl. Nothing really special, i was thinking about the ex all night long anyways, so i campared her to the ex and the physical comparison was nothing at least. The ex seems to be far superior to any women in that way, at least to me. Anyways, we made eye contact a couple of times thru the night and she was eventually alone at her table, I'm assuming her friends went for a smoke. Well, i got some liquid courage in me and then got up and went to talk to her. IT was akeward at first, cause i'm really shy, but we eventually got to talking and chatted for quite a while. Her friends came back and mine wanted to leave, so we ended going our ways, but i akwardly asked for her number and got it (don'tknow if it's real or not yet). Anyways, after i left the bar, i realized... i have no iterest really. She's kind of cute, but i'm always thinking of the ex. But i asked for HER number... so what do i do now? Should i try a date or 2 anyways and se what happens? Or not bother her again. And what effect could this have with the ex? Could it upset her if she hears about it (I don't know how this could be possible with the ex over 200km away and no contact in 3 months) but you never know. I just don't know what to do. And another reaaaaaaaaaaaaly odd twist to this whole thing is that i've been praying (if that's your thing) for guidance and strength in this whole thing to get me thru. I even went as far as to pray for a vision int he form of a dream as to what would happen, or what i should do. And odd as it sounds, i actually had a wierd dream where i was spending the wholedream talking to some women i did not know. This was about a week or so ago. Sure enough, i realized before i went to bed last night, i s*** you not, the girl i met last night was the girl in the dream. Looked just like her. How is this possible that i could have a dream about someone I've never met before? What does it all mean? Link to post Share on other sites
xalysabethh Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 personally I would call her, what can it hurt? if you aren't intersted after a few dates then maybe at the least you'll have a good freind and have some fun xalysabeth Link to post Share on other sites
NotaBadGuy Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Call man, what do you have to lose? I've been following most of your story on here and you need to forget about the ex and do things for yourself. Don't compare this chick with the ex. It is not fair to her and to you. If you are like me, right now you are only thinking about the good things about your ex. For some reason we seem to repress the bad things about the relationship and only remember the good. No wonder the next several months or however long is always spent comparing the next to the ex. Ultimatley not fair. This woman did not give you her phone number as a random act of kindness. She did it because you asked and she could of politley said no. I am the shy type and probbaly would not have had the "liquid" courage to even attempt such a feat. My hat goes off to you for being able to take that step. And why worry about what the ex thinks? She seems to not be worrying about you right now. You need to do things based on your own feelings and needs, not based on what you think the ex might think. Don't let her dictate your life and the decisions you make. I know it is easier said than done though. I have been going out of town every weekend for the past two months just for the simple fact that I did not want to run into my ex or her "special" friend. The town is not huge, but its a decent size. It does make me feel as if I am a coward and running from my problems. I mean, I won't shop here or be seen in public except to get gas. So maybe my advice is some I need to apply to my own situtation. I can't keep on doing this forever, I will be broke and still no better off than I was before I left each time. I can't sit here and tell you that I could go out and talk to some woman, get her number, and not be thinking what you are. I probably be thinking the same way. But the beauty of this site is that we get "neutral" outside perspectives on what other peoples expereinces and opinions are on a given situation. That being said, I am only giving you my "neutral" outside opinion. Hopefully it has some relevant qualities. As for the dream, thats pretty compelling. The dream could be telling you to move on and not waste any more time or energy worrying about the ex. I wish I could be so fortunate. But then I would probably have a similar post on here. I also pray for wisdom and strength to make it through this emotional rollercoaster. It is not easy though. Some days are better than others. But I continually pray. I even pray for my ex that she is protected from harm given guidance. I don't know waht to say about the dream per se, but it does appear to me that you have nothing to lose but maybe a little pride by calling. You never know what may happen - at the same time be fair to the other person and let them know what you do or don't want at this time. Anyways, good luck. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Kanuk Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 Good advice, but i'd like more opinions if possible It's the weekend, so if I'm going to call, it's going to be really soon. Link to post Share on other sites
sarah12 Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Call her. Link to post Share on other sites
reasontosigh Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Good luck! Link to post Share on other sites
monkey Posted January 18, 2004 Share Posted January 18, 2004 Is this a rebound thing, is rebound good?, afterall there would be no need to rebound if the one were rebounding from was still there & therefore the one were rebounding too is only a means of attention from the opposite sex that we miss now were single & not used to it. I'm still madly in love with my seperated one, but it takes 2 to tango. I have changed alot since i met my seperated, my whole attitude to life because we travelled a lot & the people i used to associate with i have nothing in common with anymore. People say, chill out a little, date other girls, but the thought of it makes me feel sick & want my seperated one even more! If a rebound makes you feel ok, then do it & i have thought about what advice i've been given & i can't. Only you know when the time is right! Link to post Share on other sites
lost_in_chgo Posted January 18, 2004 Share Posted January 18, 2004 I went out last night. I came home within an hour. It's still too early for me. (5 months now, 3 since we last talked.) Whatever we think doesn't matter. Do whatever you feel is right. Link to post Share on other sites
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