Need Help To Forget Her

[old fashioned college boy]

I was in a very serious relationship for a little over three years and me and my ex had a bad breakup. She hurt me really badly, and is now dating some guy who she told me was "just a friend" in the past. She has no clue what she is doing with her life, and has done a 180 degree turn with everything in her life. She turned her back on me and our friends. Now she lives near me and so does he. I don't know what to do about moving on because i'm reminded daily of how cold she was to me. I want to move on and tried to move on, but its tough and i don't know what to do. I'm hurt and angry but dont' want to leave my school or my apartment behind because i've made a life for myself there.

 

Now theres another girl in the picture and i'm making all the wrong moves because i've been out of dating for so long. I want to move on and date her but i'm afraid that i'm going to expect this relationship to be like my last. I don't want to lose out on this opportunity but i'm currently blowing it. Any advice from an experience lady is GREATLY appreciated

[Taressa]

Wow. You sound like quite a terrific guy.

 

I'm so sorry that the first relationship ended so badly for you. Bad endings tend to haunt you with the wish of doing it over. Once the hateful feelings at the breakup eventually fade you're left with regret and with some residual caring feelings for the person you once loved.

 

Endings are endings. That's the first thing to face. It's a sour thing that you've got to occasionally see your ex and the distasteful choices she's making. Let the stinging saltiness of her presence heal your wounds by reminding yourself you made the right choice. If she has changed so much, consider yourself lucky not to be involved in a permanent relationship with someone so weak.

 

It's good that you are being careful with your new girlfriend. Taking your time will give you the rich opportunity to know her character and her values. You will learn if she is someone who might someday turn coldly cruel or if she is someone who makes a solid friend and lasting love.

 

Express your heart to this new girl. Talk with her. Your hidden feelings will find a way to express themselves; it sounds as though your slowness in the relationship could be construed as coldness. Make sure she knows the place in which you stand. It's okay to share your past with her but beware of flavoring your words with bitterness - - that's something to send us running away every time.

 

Your heart will hurt awhile longer but it has been long enough. Gather your resolve and move on with your life. You don't have to move away in order to move on. You just need to gather some friends who will support you with truthful opinions and with loving acceptance. Broken hearts can make us timid; gather love from other proven relationships to help make you strong.

 

You're moving in the right direction. Let the past be the past and use the lessons learned to make today a good day.

 

Best wishes, sweet college man.

[old fashioned college boy]

Thank you for the words of advice. I dont know if you'll get this message, but I didn't want you to think that I didn't appreciate what you said. I agree with a lot of what you say, and although it is hard to do, I am slowly but surely moving on. I agree with you when you say that I should be lucky that I am not with someone so weak and two-faced. You're right about that and its good to know that there is something optimistic about this bad breakup. I just wanted you to know that I'm gonna try my hardest to move on, and to let the bitterness go. Thanks again Taressa.

[Taressa]

Yes. I found your message. I didn't expect, but hoped to hear back from you.

 

You're on the right track. I know it hurts but you really are going to come through this okay.

 

Thanks for writing back.

 

Best wishes. Stay strong.

 

Taressa

I just wanted you to know that I'm gonna try my hardest to move on, and to let the bitterness go.