Leia Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Do you subscribe the whole 'soul mate' thing? How about 'true love'? Have you found yours? Is there a difference between your TRUE LOVE and your SOUL MATE? Can you find one and not find the other? Is it supposed to be the same person? I'm interested to know your opinions on this. Thanks! Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I found my "true Love" and my "soulmate" and she dumped me. Never again Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leia Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 I found my "true Love" and my "soulmate" and she dumped me. Never again I'm sorry I don't think I believe in soul mates. I know true love exists and I think I have yet to find that too. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I thought it did exist, but it was a silly notion I had sometime ago. Its good to be hopeful and optimistic though, regardless. Link to post Share on other sites
skydiveaddict Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I'm sorry I don't think I believe in soul mates. I know true love exists and I think I have yet to find that too. Oh believe me they both exist. I'm found 'em both and lost 'em both. Never again for me, I'm done. Link to post Share on other sites
Pyro Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 It's one in the same. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Do you subscribe the whole 'soul mate' thing? How about 'true love'? Have you found yours? Is there a difference between your TRUE LOVE and your SOUL MATE? Can you find one and not find the other? Is it supposed to be the same person? I'm interested to know your opinions on this. Thanks! Good question Leia. And since I can't sleep tonight I'll bite. I believe a soul mate is someone who is predestined for you, someone you are supposed to 'find', a certain someone. I don't believe he is the next guy you are in to. Alternately, I believe a soul mate can be temporary in your life and not neccessarily a lifelong partner. I believe a soul mate CAN be your true love, but that you can have true love with anyone, not neccessarily a soul mate (if that makes any sense). In other words, we can choose who we want, but sometimes it really seems like someone is just right for us and meant to be (predestined). Other times they can be wrong for us and meant to be. A predestined soul mate can be someone you can't stand, as in my first H. I believe the universe gave him to me in order for me to learn some lessons in this life. And boy, did I learn them! Just because I don't look at him as the love of my life does not mean that the higher powers didn't put him in my path; I'm quite sure they did. Just as my sweetie now was put in my path. I was recently told that his W calls him her soul mate. What a dichotemy! Yet, I cannot discount her beliefs any more than mine. It may very well be true that MM was put in my path to teach me some lessons, me him, and to let him go? Or, let him leave for me and his W will have to let him go? That does not mean he wasn't supposed to be in her life as her soul mate for x amount of years, then in my life as mine in the remaining years. It can be very complicated but works out the way it is supposed to, no matter what we want. I do believe I have found true love with him and that he was brought into my life by a higher power. The term Soul Mate is a sensitive issue for me lately but I have called him that before. I really don't appreciate those who roll their eyes at the term in a dismissive manner. Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I'm sorry I don't think I believe in soul mates. I know true love exists and I think I have yet to find that too. Leia there is a really good book on this subject called, Journey of Souls by Dr. Michael Newton. It is fascinating reading. You should pick it up. Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I do believe in couples that are perfect for each other, but it's extremely rare, much more so than people think. Most are like skydiveaddicts, where for him it was a soulmate, for her, she wanted to end the relationship. I know many men who play around on their s/o's and their other half thinks they're the perfect partner. They're just totally unaware. If I had to put a number on it, out of those relationships and marriages that actually survive, probably 1 out of 10 are true soulmates. Keep in mind that maybe 10-15 out of 100 LTR's & marriages even survive. So out of every 100 relationships/marriages, maybe 1 lucky couple will have found their perfect partner. Good luck Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I was thinking odds more like Lotto If a 'soulmate' is someone with whom you share a mutual natural 'connection' which transcends time and circumstance, yes, I've had that. If 'true love' is a person with whom you share a mutually loving, caring and supportive dynamic, I haven't had that. So, IME, a soulmate isn't necessarily a true love. Since I haven't had a true love, I do not know if the reverse is true. In the end, it's how you *feel*. YMMV Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I was thinking odds more like Lotto Well, I whole heartedly agree with you carhill, I was just being a tad conservative in my post for political correctness If a 'soulmate' is someone with whom you share a mutual natural 'connection' which transcends time and circumstance, yes, I've had that. If 'true love' is a person with whom you share a mutually loving, caring and supportive dynamic, I haven't had that. So, IME, a soulmate isn't necessarily a true love. Since I haven't had a true love, I do not know if the reverse is true. In the end, it's how you *feel*. YMMV IMO, a soulmate is everything. That emotional, physical and even spiritual connection that no other man or woman can break between the two of you. It lasts forever. Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Both are myths, and unhealthy ones at that. The term "soulmate" suggests that there is one special person out there for you, that you need to wait for The One. Well, guesss what? The One doesn't exist. The One is a lie. No two people are that perfectly compatible. Relationships don't work because you find the perfect person. They work because you put in the effort to make them work. "True love" is a similar bit of adolescent nonsense. No one can feel madly in love all the time. Even people we love dearly drive nuts sometimes, or bore us, or annoy us. We'd all be much better off if we'd learn to outgrow these silly ideas. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Can I introduce you to my stbx? She'd like you. She already has a house and everything, so no downside for you. She would agree with you wholeheartedly, if that word could be used to describe her. Link to post Share on other sites
Fouts Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Both are myths, and unhealthy ones at that. The term "soulmate" suggests that there is one special person out there for you, that you need to wait for The One. Well, guesss what? The One doesn't exist. The One is a lie. No two people are that perfectly compatible. Relationships don't work because you find the perfect person. They work because you put in the effort to make them work. "True love" is a similar bit of adolescent nonsense. No one can feel madly in love all the time. Even people we love dearly drive nuts sometimes, or bore us, or annoy us. We'd all be much better off if we'd learn to outgrow these silly ideas. I'm seeing your point ADF, but will just agree to disagree with you. Do I think people should wait for their soulmate? Hell no ! Find someone that you enjoy being with and can build a good and productive life together. You have to balance out the positives and the not so positives that your s/o brings to the table and like you said, work through them. With all the divorces, affairs and people in it just for the kids or money, it may not be all rainbows and unicorns, but it's worth a shot. I think the one's who've found their soulmate just stumble upon it. Dumb luck, but it definitely can happen. It's a rare thing when you see it. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 There is a quiz for it even, so for those who are in a relationship, because it does have to be mutual, see if it applies to you both: http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/quizzes/truelove.html Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leia Posted April 4, 2010 Author Share Posted April 4, 2010 Whoa. Thanks all for your comments. I agree with some of you and don't with others. This is my take on 'soul mate' and 'true love'. Soul mate - I don't believe in it. I thought I did and found one but nope, he wasn't one. He was everything but then I felt the same way for another. So clearly, that isn't soul mate? I don't know. I'm cynical when it comes to relationships even more so after my recent discovery but whatever. I won't die, for sure, if I don't find my soul mate. That I am very sure of. True love - I'm not too sure about this too, right now. Is true love something you share with a particular person over the years and after several break ups [inevitable reasons], you end up together again and still feel the same, even more than before and everything just feels good with one another? Even after working through the tough phases and find it easier to deal with the second or third time around, no feeling of boredom with one another ... is that true love? Link to post Share on other sites
threebyfate Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 Do human beings really have a soul? If we have souls, why do so many people facilitate so many deliberately hurtful or harmful acts? I don't believe in "the one" in any shape or form. But I do believe that sometimes, you luck out and hit the jackpot with someone who has so many similar values that your relationship becomes intuitive, rather than a struggle or project. When this happens, you expend energy towards building a positive foundation for love to keep on growing, rather than wasting time, energy and emotion, flailing around in drama. In essence, I believe that love and emotionally healthy relationships exist. If you're really lucky, this type of relationship lasts until death do you part. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Carl Posted April 4, 2010 Share Posted April 4, 2010 I'm sure there are people who have managed to find what amounts to a soul mate. It's not something people should count on though. Perfection is the enemy of the good. With your looks, Leia, you should have no problem finding guys who will offer their version of soul mate and true love. With your brains, you will probably have a harder time finding guys who you find interesting. Don't let whatever is going wrong for you now foul up your perspective on what is possible. It's just one relationship. It nearly always takes several before the search for what is right ends successfully. And what ends up being right will probably have little resemblance to what you are imagining it will be. Don't worry. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leia Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 There is a quiz for it even, so for those who are in a relationship, because it does have to be mutual, see if it applies to you both: http://health.discovery.com/centers/loverelationships/quizzes/truelove.html I took the test and it came out 5/5 = true love. It was fun for the whole 20 secs of it. Didn't bother to get bf to do it. In essence, I believe that love and emotionally healthy relationships exist. If you're really lucky, this type of relationship lasts until death do you part. I know that exist too, just this whole 'soul mate' thing, something I don't buy into but apparently, I'm one of those who my friends call 'a jerk' for stating my points on why I think it doesn't exist. I'm sure there are people who have managed to find what amounts to a soul mate. It's not something people should count on though. Perfection is the enemy of the good. With your looks, Leia, you should have no problem finding guys who will offer their version of soul mate and true love. With your brains, you will probably have a harder time finding guys who you find interesting. Don't let whatever is going wrong for you now foul up your perspective on what is possible. It's just one relationship. It nearly always takes several before the search for what is right ends successfully. And what ends up being right will probably have little resemblance to what you are imagining it will be. Don't worry. That's what I mean, Hot Carl. It's not something anyone should depend or count on. I'm not bothered anymore with my relationship, I'm done knowing that it has no happy ending, but we are still together and having a great time. This topic has nothing to do with my relationship, not so much anyway. It's something that came up while I was out with my friends and pretty much everyone was giving me a hard time for my thoughts on it. I've always been cynical about relationships, and I've change quite a bit in the past one year so what gives? Give me a break! Why can't people respect others beliefs? I respect their opinions on 'soul mates' so why can't they respect mine? Gah. Link to post Share on other sites
Hot Carl Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 If you're in a discussion where you find others aren't showing respect for your point of view, maybe you can drop out and start up a conversation with someone else. If it's what you believe, due to your experiences in life, right or wrong, you aren't required to defend it. Just state it and let them deal with it. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I think soul mate is just another word for a good connection that some how together you compliment and complete each other. I don't even think its just about male/females either. I think it can exisit between friends as well. It just sometimes feels from the very start that you are suppose to be together some way. In each other's lives. That things are better just because you are there. I agree with whomever said it might not last but for points in time its there and very important. I think true love is how I feel for my kids. There is nothing that could make me not love them. I don't feel that way about my H but its not too far off that mark. ccl Link to post Share on other sites
White Flower Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I think soul mate is just another word for a good connection that some how together you compliment and complete each other. I don't even think its just about male/females either. I think it can exisit between friends as well. It just sometimes feels from the very start that you are suppose to be together some way. In each other's lives. That things are better just because you are there. I agree with whomever said it might not last but for points in time its there and very important. I think true love is how I feel for my kids. There is nothing that could make me not love them. I don't feel that way about my H but its not too far off that mark. ccl One of my best friends calls me his soul mate all the time. We are from different countries and he is slightly older than my oldest child yet we both feel that we were brought together and meant to be friends. One day we'll find out why. Link to post Share on other sites
SaintDragon Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 Soulmate True Love... Aren't they the same sort of?.... I always associated the both as the same... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Leia Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 If you're in a discussion where you find others aren't showing respect for your point of view, maybe you can drop out and start up a conversation with someone else. If it's what you believe, due to your experiences in life, right or wrong, you aren't required to defend it. Just state it and let them deal with it. Thanks. I left after everyone gave me a hard time. Wasn't having much fun anyway. Some can't respect your opinions, nothing much we can do about people like that. I think soul mate is just another word for a good connection that some how together you compliment and complete each other. I don't even think its just about male/females either. I think it can exisit between friends as well. It just sometimes feels from the very start that you are suppose to be together some way. In each other's lives. That things are better just because you are there. I agree with whomever said it might not last but for points in time its there and very important. I think true love is how I feel for my kids. There is nothing that could make me not love them. I don't feel that way about my H but its not too far off that mark. ccl I've been told it isn't just female/male thing. Really? Now isn't that unconditional love? With the kids, I mean. Link to post Share on other sites
crazycatlady Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 Thanks. I left after everyone gave me a hard time. Wasn't having much fun anyway. Some can't respect your opinions, nothing much we can do about people like that. I've been told it isn't just female/male thing. Really? Now isn't that unconditional love? With the kids, I mean. True love to me would have to be pure love which is the truest form of love. So yes its unconditional. And I probably shouldn't have said female/male thing but rather the sex you are attracted to thing. Or a physical thing. But a platonic soul mate. Link to post Share on other sites
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