Soul mate vs. True love

[carhill]

True love has to be pure love, and nothing is pure like that of a parent for their child.

 

Yes, it was when I experienced the 'switch', watching 'true love' for the child (in my case the person's adult children) switch to relative distance and indifference, almost like a light switch being thrown, that I knew that particular 'soul mate' would never have anything approaching 'true love' for myself. So, one can have an elemental connection (desire and continuity of attraction) but without 'true love' (a healthy emotional state of choice). Accepting that schism, something I had not understood prior, helped put the dynamic into perspective. For some people, such dynamics are contiguous and for others separate and discreet. Aspects of compatibility.

[Leia]

Well you and I are on the same page with chick flicks, that's for sure! To be clear, I don't even believe we have souls so the concept is foreign to me of having one person your soul recognises as your true love blah blah etc etc. There are no perfect endings, someone can be perfect FOR you, they can make you happy and you can share a beautiful life with them but it's never going to be sunshine and happiness 24/7. People that expect that from their partner are only going to be like your friend and trying to fit the person they're with into the mold they want to fill. Inevitably being disappointed and going onto their next "soul mate". They're more than likely be the grass is always greener kind and miss out on the person they'd be happiest with.

 

What I have now is great and the point I was making before was how he is, the person he is, is what I want and need in my life. That doesn't mean God created us to find each other one day and live happily ever after. How...arrogant to assume that. I'm sure He has better things to do. Not to mention that is a lot of pressure! If you told people on their first date that were going to marry that other person and they will be together until they leave this Earth most people would run screaming.

 

I think you know.

 

Haha. You know how absurd some chick flicks are .

 

I get what you're saying. There is no way a relationship can be a bed of roses all the time, there will come a time where the bed will be filled with stones and rocks!

 

I'm leaning more towards true/real love. I'm not there yet but I know one day ... I will experience it.

 

Is it who I think it is?!

[whichwayisup]

Do you subscribe the whole 'soul mate' thing?

 

What is your definition of 'soulmate'? Everyone has a different opinion on that.

Is it based on feelings? A connection? Like that person was meant to just be in your life and you feel like you've known them forever?

 

How about 'true love'? Have you found yours?

 

There are so many different kinds of love, each relationship has a different 'love' feeling than the last, I know for me, my previous boyfriends and what I felt for them doesn't measure up to what i have now. What I have now is long lasting, forever growing love. It isn't that intense, feeling TOO emotionally attached, like when I'm not with him, I think about him all the time..To be honest, I don't enjoy that intensity because it's draining and kind of unhealthy, makes one squirrelly.

Is there a difference between your TRUE LOVE and your SOUL MATE?

Soulmate to me just means that you were supposed to meet that person and a lesson could be learned to help you grow, learn something about yourself, or you help them. Whether it's a crush, a friendship, same sex or oppposite sex, or beginning of a new relationship

 

Can you find one and not find the other?

 

Yes.

 

Is it supposed to be the same person?

 

Sometimes yes, sometimes no.

[aerogurl87]

Do you subscribe the whole 'soul mate' thing?

 

How about 'true love'? Have you found yours?

 

Is there a difference between your TRUE LOVE and your SOUL MATE?

 

Can you find one and not find the other?

 

Is it supposed to be the same person?

 

I'm interested to know your opinions on this. Thanks!

 

I have a hard time believing in soulmates because I don't believe in predestination. With that said, I do believe in true love, but I think it is extremely rare. True love is unconditional and it lasts forever. I thought I had found my true love, but turns out he wasn't, oh well gotta keep looking I guess. But I'm hoping that my boyfriend now is my true love. I mean who knows, he could be...

 

EDIT: I did believe in soulmates when I was with my ex. The moment I talked to him, I knew he would be someone very special in my life in some way. I never got the "he's the one" vibe from him really, but I knew he was special and I guess he was since being with him forced me to grow up alot and taught me to become a stronger person in the end.

Edited April 9, 2010 by aerogurl87

[orangelondon]

so no one heard of 'twin flames' ??

 

This is a deep spiritual connection between people often extremely intense and can mean that they cannot actually be together because they both have unique life paths / evolving to do, the connection though is supposedly greater. I found out about twin flames a few years ago and think sometimes we look for answers in being together as soul mates or finding true love,it comforting but twin flames does at least go some way in speculating as to why things may not work out on a physical level, why people have to sometimes be apart and why that connection on a spiritual level can't be explained away.

“It is wrong to think that love comes from long companionship and persevering courtship. Love is the offspring of spiritual affinity and unless that affinity is created in a moment, it will not be created for years or even generations”

Kahlil Gibran

[skydiveaddict]

I dont believe any of that. If two people want to be together, then they will do anything to make it work

[hater13]

let me tell you my honest opinion of this.

 

I believe that there really no such things as a "soul mate" or "the one" because if you really think about it THE ONE can be ANYWHERE in this world?? you're limited to only a certain geographical area? what if your "one" is in a completely different continent?

 

You are given certain things in life and if you have hard times in your relationship ( i mean fights- not abuse) then you should be able to work through them!! If the person leaves after a few fights then honestly, they are too weak to be ANY relationship!!

[hater13]

I dont believe any of that. If two people want to be together, then they will do anything to make it work

 

agreed 100%

[Not the love ace]

Both are myths, and unhealthy ones at that.

 

The term "soulmate" suggests that there is one special person out there for you, that you need to wait for The One. Well, guesss what? The One doesn't exist. The One is a lie. No two people are that perfectly compatible. Relationships don't work because you find the perfect person. They work because you put in the effort to make them work.

 

"True love" is a similar bit of adolescent nonsense. No one can feel madly in love all the time. Even people we love dearly drive nuts sometimes, or bore us, or annoy us. We'd all be much better off if we'd learn to outgrow these silly ideas.

AMEN. Its hilarious how hopeful or too demanding people are when it comes to looking for the person of their dreams.

[Not the love ace]

let me tell you my honest opinion of this.

 

I believe that there really no such things as a "soul mate" or "the one" because if you really think about it THE ONE can be ANYWHERE in this world?? you're limited to only a certain geographical area? what if your "one" is in a completely different continent?

 

You are given certain things in life and if you have hard times in your relationship ( i mean fights- not abuse) then you should be able to work through them!! If the person leaves after a few fights then honestly, they are too weak to be ANY relationship!!

 

Having a little squabble here and there is not a bad thing but I truly don't understand couples who stay together when all the do 50% or more of the time is verbally abuse each other. To me, that is an unhealthy relationship. I think there has to be a limit of the amount of arguments/verbal altercations you have with your partner and if you can't work anything out, then you shouldn't be together as a couple. Sometimes you're just better off as friends or something else.

[Ilovecake]

I don't believe in true love or soul mates. Sorry but what if your true one and only soul mate lives in a remote village in Zimbabwe and you never have a chance to meet. It's a ridiculous, romanticized idea concocted to sell bad romance novels and terrible chick movies.

[elysium23]

Both are myths, and unhealthy ones at that.

 

The term "soulmate" suggests that there is one special person out there for you, that you need to wait for The One. Well, guesss what? The One doesn't exist. The One is a lie. No two people are that perfectly compatible. Relationships don't work because you find the perfect person. They work because you put in the effort to make them work.

 

"True love" is a similar bit of adolescent nonsense. No one can feel madly in love all the time. Even people we love dearly drive nuts sometimes, or bore us, or annoy us. We'd all be much better off if we'd learn to outgrow these silly ideas.

 

This is so true. Even the best relationships take work. It's not all rainbows and butterflies. Believing it should be is damaging because then people go into a relationship with unrealistic expectations, then they think something is wrong with the relationship when it doesn't work out perfectly. So, seeing it for what it is, real work, is the healthiest approach to any relationship.

[Ilovecake]

Having a little squabble here and there is not a bad thing but I truly don't understand couples who stay together when all the do 50% or more of the time is verbally abuse each other. To me, that is an unhealthy relationship. I think there has to be a limit of the amount of arguments/verbal altercations you have with your partner and if you can't work anything out, then you shouldn't be together as a couple. Sometimes you're just better off as friends or something else.

 

A good measure a friend gave me once is if you're upset more than you are happy, even by a bit, you are not with the right person.

[Not the love ace]

A good measure a friend gave me once is if you're upset more than you are happy, even by a bit, you are not with the right person.

 

 

I believe that as well.

[Leia]

I don't believe in true love or soul mates. Sorry but what if your true one and only soul mate lives in a remote village in Zimbabwe and you never have a chance to meet. It's a ridiculous, romanticized idea concocted to sell bad romance novels and terrible chick movies.

 

:lmao:

 

Oh how true!