julietverni Posted January 15, 2004 Posted January 15, 2004 There's a friend of mine that I'd like to start something romantic with and I think he has some romantic feelings for me, the only catch is that he and my roommate do NOT like each other (each thinks the other is evil for various retarded reasons) and on top of that my most recent ex is my best friend and we spend a lot of time together. Are these things combined enough to make him so uncomfortable that he'd never consider dating me? How would you guys feel in this situation?
Tony T Posted January 15, 2004 Posted January 15, 2004 Most any guy is not going to feel real good about you spending lots of time with your ex...or even being very good friends at all. For that matter, a lot of men are suspicious of any male platonic friends the lady they're dating may have. This situation may not hurt you initially but I think it could be a major issue as a new relationship intensifies. I don't think it makes a lot of difference what your roommate thinks about the guy you're interested in.
RobertoPNW Posted January 15, 2004 Posted January 15, 2004 The new guy you want to date could trust in you completely, but he won't trust the ex. This will make him uneasy, might cause him to keep distant. I sure wouldn't be too comfortable being the new guy with the ex still in the picture.
UCFKevin Posted January 15, 2004 Posted January 15, 2004 What Roberto said. Never trust a guy who just wants to be your friend, ESPECIALLY if he's an ex.
ThatAngelGirl Posted January 16, 2004 Posted January 16, 2004 Never trust a guy who just wants to be your friend, ESPECIALLY if he's an ex. Really? Honestly, I'd like to believe that SOME men can maintain a completely platonic relationship with a female. But You're a man, so maybe you know better. Now to the original poster... Considering the fact that he is your most recent ex, have you thought about the reasons you're best friends? Are you sure one of you isn't hanging onto the other with hopes of someday becoming more than friends? Before you consider getting into another relationship, I think it would be wise to examine the friendship a little more closely. As for your roomie.. it shouldn't make any difference. If it would happen to become a problem you could always spend time at his place and if things get really ugly, find a new roommate.
UCFKevin Posted January 16, 2004 Posted January 16, 2004 Well, it IS possible for a guy to be purely platonic with a girl, but honestly, most of the time, as it was said in When Harry Met Sally, they'll pretty much wanna bang you at any given moment.
ThatAngelGirl Posted January 16, 2004 Posted January 16, 2004 Kevin, now that you've put it that way, I'm going to always wonder if my male friends are waiting to "bang me". And about right now I'd.. n/m, I won't go there. Heh. Thanks for the enlightenment.
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Author julietverni Posted January 16, 2004 Author Posted January 16, 2004 My ex and I are best friends because that's what we were before we started dating and have grown closer everyday. We can be completely honest and open with each other and we have a great time hanging out. I'm quite sure that any one of my male friends wouldn't turn me down if I asked them for sex, but I don't think that's WHY they're friends with me. I think the same goes for a lot of guys who have female friends.
BiancaRura Posted January 16, 2004 Posted January 16, 2004 I was in this exact situation.... Me and my best friend from high school were together constantly. Everyone thought we were together, but we hadnt really though about it. Then one day we just went for it. We were together as bf and gf for like 4 years. We broke up while in college but still spend every waking moment together. I didnt feel as though I should date anyone because I wasnt sure how my best friend would feel about it, so I didnt go out. I had guys asking me out every time I turned around. Finally I did start seeing a guy about 3 years after me and my best friend broke up. It didnt last long but I realized I was holding myself back and I didnt want to do that any more. Almost a year ago my best friend told me that we shouldnt hang out anymore because it was too painful seeing me date other people. He told me that he was still in love with me and he wanted me back even though he knew I didnt want him like that. I still havent told him Im married, I dont want to hurt him. He had always wanted "us" to get married.
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