AMN819 Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 Okay, so I met this guy during the Carolina/GB game Saturday....he's a BIG football fan (which most gay men are NOT). He ended up giving me his number..I didn't ask for it...and we met up that night. The next day me, my best friend and my friend I met him through all ended up going to a local bar. I called him and told him we were there, but he only came up there for about 45 minutes. I hadn't heard from him, So, yesterday, I called him and told him we were going to a club downtown and he agreed to go. When I got off the phone, this friend of mine (who KINDA knows him) was making fun of me saying he thinks he is gay b/c he passed up sex with a REALLY attractive girl...then he was saying he might even be a virgin b/c he had told her he "wasn't too experienced". Is it possible for a guy to be hittin' on girls, but not sleeping with any of them b/c he is gay? I mean what if he is really just a virgin by choice. The guys laughed b/c he is 23, but I think it's awesome b/c I have NEVER met a REALLY good looking guy that gets hit on 24/7 that's a virgin. Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 ...[he must be gay or a virgin because] he passed up sex with a REALLY attractive girl... Oh, puh-LEEZ. Not all men will hump anything with a heartbeat or a pretty face at a moment's notice. Some of them actually do look for emotional connection, and they stop and think twice about the consequences. Some men WILL actually pass up sex because the woman is attached or married, or because they do not feel close to her. Or maybe even they could be permitted other reasons for declining sex without having a label slapped on 'em. Or maybe other folks could keep their pointy noses out of strangers' personal business. I remember when one's sex life used to be at least theoretically private...sheesh, I'm old. Link to post Share on other sites
Kanuk Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 yes, believe it or not, not all men are out to have sex all of the time. I'm one of those men. I will not sleep with someone on the first, or even 10th date likely. I need to love the person first, and that's only happened with 2 women so far. One after 6 months of dating, and the other (which suprised me it was so soon into our relationship) after about a month. The later of the two is my most recent ex. While it's true that once we began sleeping together, i wanted it with her all the time, and it wasn't awlays emotional sex, sometime it was just sex. It doesn't change the fact that I had to love her first, and i continued to love her afterwards. I have turned down sex before, not on a lot of occasions, but there have been a few becuase i was not attatched to the person making the request. I simply can't bring myself to 'do it' with somone i don't love. that doesn't make me gay at all. Link to post Share on other sites
juju Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 he sounds shy cute and definetly a keeper! see if you can change his minds Link to post Share on other sites
wideawake Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 I know a few gay guys that LOVE football, both college and pro. Something about Tight Ends I think.... (ok, bad one...but I couldn't resist, and I DO know these two guys (couple) that are NCAA freaks...) Link to post Share on other sites
someguy-me Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 I am i 21 and was a virgin up untill recently. I have turned down oportunities for sex, well not necessarly sex, but there was a possibilty of it. My girlfriend who is the first person i had sex with was also my first love, although I have never loved someone before, and i may not have held such a strong value on sex, i have now realized that there is so much emotion to it and it really messed me up. I do love my girlfriend and if our relationship ever comes to an end i know for sure i wont do it again till i am in love. I bet there are lots of guys like me, not all guys are the fools we are shown to be. So i doubt this guy is gay simply because he turned down sex, or is still a virgin at 23, even if he is good looking. Link to post Share on other sites
LauraD Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 It's definitely possible that he does not believe in casual sex. I don't think you should assume he's gay. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 15, 2004 Share Posted January 15, 2004 This seems to be a new LS trend? "If he won't sleep with me, he must be gay"? Link to post Share on other sites
Kriz Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Mmmm. Is doubting someones sexuality becoming trendy or something? I can say from personal experience it's not a nice thing to go through, it's contagious. The virgin thing. I was a virgin till 21, and look at me, I am the exact resemblance of Frank Sinatra! No, I think of myself as not-unattractive (modesty is best expressed by double negation) and I flirted a lot, but because of some issues I had to go through in the past I was a bit freaked about sex. Don't bail on him, he might need someone, and he'll give a lot back. Link to post Share on other sites
subtitled Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 LMAO at your signature Dyer Link to post Share on other sites
ziggue Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Sorry to be negative but maybe he is still seeing somebody else and may want to wait till after he dumps her before making a move on you. I am not sure if that is true but it is just a thought. Or he could just be just shy. Even want to wait till he's in love with you. I wonder where to find those guys? Lol. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 I think a good reference for girls who think that because a guy won't sleep with her, he must be gay, is Episode #36 - "Are We Sluts?" of Sex and the City. Basically, Sarah Jessica Parker freaks out because Aidan won't sleep with her after the second date. Doesn't anyone believe in romance anymore? Link to post Share on other sites
Author AMN819 Posted January 16, 2004 Author Share Posted January 16, 2004 I can honestly say I am NOT like that. I haven't even tried to KISS this guy. We JUST met and we haven't gone out on a "date". We met up with some friends at a bar..so I am not even ABOUT to try anything. Honestly, I could care less if he is a virgin..I think that would be awesome. I WANT a guy that doesn't just sleep around. I DO NOT think he's gay b/c he won't sleep with me..I am just listening to a bunch of his guy friends...(BAD idea)..the only reason I was even thinking anything is because he doesn't call me, and when we meet he goes FAR out of his way to come see me and then leaves after an hour. Granted I WAS with other people..but he knew I would be. Now I invite him to go downtown to the club with us and he agrees...which surprised me b/c all the signs were pointed to "not interested" Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Maybe all the signs still point to not interested, but he doesn't want to hurt your feelings? Just a thought. Most gay guys are pretty forward about it, so as not to hurt a girl's feelings and keep her guessing. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AMN819 Posted January 16, 2004 Author Share Posted January 16, 2004 True, but he came on to ME...I didn't approach him at all. Plus, his friend is one of my good friends and told me about the girls he has dated and what not..I dunno!!! Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 Yeah, I just reread your original post (my first reply, btw, was mostly a response to the banter, not the original topic), and he sounds like a nice guy - probably inexperienced by choice in the sex area, but possibly kind of flaky, or just not violently interested. Could be for a number of reasons - not interested in a relationship...just kind of forgets things...generally kind of scattered...anything. Sounds like all the gay talk can be chalked up to the stereotypical male reaction to knowing that a guy hasn't slept with tons of women. You say you just met him last Saturday - do you have plans for this weekend? I agree with you - that is awesome if he is waiting for the right girl. Sounds like your friends might have unintentionally been jerks. Link to post Share on other sites
Author AMN819 Posted January 16, 2004 Author Share Posted January 16, 2004 We met Saturday, he came over while I was talking to another guy (friend) about sports. He introduced himself and gave me his # and said if I was going to a bar after the second game to call him. We went to a local bar and I called him. He sent me a text after about an hour to tell me he was on his way. We chilled for about 30 minutes and I left around 1...(really tired from night before). He called the next morning to see where I was watching the game. He ended up coming up there, but left after about an hour later. Tuesday I asked him (through text mess) if he wanted to go downtown with is. He replies "sure maybe". I called him Wednesday and told him the plans and he said "sure, count me in. One of my friends is a bouncer there and may be able to get us in free" Now, I have not had a conversation with him other thatn that, so it kinda makes me wonder if he's interested. His good friend said (on Sunday) "would he have come all the way up here for an hour if he wasn't interested". Just seems weird. I guess I'll see! Link to post Share on other sites
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