Parents are addicts

[CandyGirlXO]

Not sure what I'm looking for here. Unfortunately for most of us there are no answers and not even hope anymore. I guess I'll just write this thread to vent out a little, and maybe so I feel like I'm not all alone in my self pity.

 

I am in my twenties and BOTH of my parents are drug addicts. The way it started out in my opinion doesn't really matter and I'm not trying to be judgemental at all. So please forgive me. I feel like I have no parents. And even though I love them, I hate them too and I think it would be better for everyone if they were no longer here........sorry

 

Sure it makes me sad and I cry over it. But I have no hope. I think about how my mom was before all of this and I just get so depressed. I feel like I don't have a family.

 

My parents are addicted to fentanyl, oxycotin, methadone, Xanax, percoset, and many other pain medication. They mostly just sleep their lfe away....seriously.

 

The sad thing is neither of them work (due to the addiction) my dad is only 45 and my mom 52. My dad has never really worked, he has pretty much always been a loser. Now he just thinks he really needs all his "medicines" that's what they like to call them.

 

My mom has been rushed to the hospital before because my dad took her medicine that she needed and she wouldn't stop having seizures. At the hospital my mom told the doctor that he takes her meds but they did nothing.

 

There are no good times anymore, just nothing but craziness. No holidays, no going shopping together, no movies, no family vacations, no going out to dinner together. Instead all we get are parents who have no money, no job, no retirement plan, they don't get disability, they ask us for money constantly.

 

This is insane but I'm sure a lot of you are wondering how their finaces work. Well my dad has never had a job, instead they have been living off of my grandpa (my moms dad) who is 88 years old and has been working 70 hours a week to support them for 10+ years!!! He just got laid off so that nice little ride will be ending shortly.

 

I am barely making it. I put myself through college and I have debt from that. My parents have NEVER helped me financially. Never helped me buy my first car etc...

 

My mom has rotted out her teeth due to her drug use. She wants me to pay for her dental work. I just don't have the money.

 

There are about to lose their home and I guess my main concern is what would you do if your parents are knocking on your door with no place to go? I live with my boyfriend and I do not want my parents living in with us.

 

Sure, you can choose who your husband is, but I can't choose who my parents are. My boyfriend and I live a very normal life. We both work full time, we both are college graduates, and we are both drug free.

 

My mom just makes me feel so bad when I don't help her. Telling me I'm such a bad daughter and she cries to me. I know she is depressed but she cares more about her pills than anything else. If I help her financially it will be NEVER ENDING!!! And she doesn't care that she will financially kill me. She just thinks I'm selffish. While she is staying with a man that refuses to grow up and work for a living. I just don't get it.

 

They are no longer people. They are like zombies. My brother and I like to call it they put themselves in a drug induced coma. I just hate that they are living this way.

 

This is my life. Thanks for reading.

 

I'm sorry this post jumps around a lot I am just so frustrated about the whole situation.

Edited April 5, 2010 by CandyGirlXO

[SouthernSunshine]

((Hugs)) my mom is also drug addict. I resent my mom so much for the way she raised me. Now that I'm a mom, I see how you have to sacrifice for your kid(s). My mom just partied, and let bad things happen to me. I tried to tell her about the things that were happening to me, and she told me that I was having bad dreams. WTF?? She was clearly in denial, and she still is! I love my mom so much, but I seriously resent her. Some people shouldn't be parents.

[linwood]

I`m sorry about the situation Candy I can`t imagine it.

 

I just want to tell you not to allow them to move in with you nor do you help them financially while they are using.

 

Tell them this and ignore any grief or guilt they attempt to ply you with.

They are wrong.

 

Most importantly I want to correct something you said.

 

You said "You can`t choose your parents" and while that may well be true on a biological level it is not at all true on an intellectual/emotional level.

 

You can choose who your family is, many people have had to leave the old behind and build a whole new family.

 

Most are better off because of it.

 

Good luck to you.

[flc]

You really can't help your parents they need to help themselves. At some point, and I think you are past that point, you must drop your concern and move on with your life. You did not cause this and you cannot solve this, you owe it to yourself to think of yourself first. If I was you I would cut the contact and move away and get on with my life.

[Green]

I'm guessing they have groups for family members of drug addicted people. Maybe you could get some advice on what you should do there.