Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 (edited) John 4:19 This is not a thread of "drama" really, more of one of "it's funny how things work out" I have a daily prayer book, it's about 100 years old. I try to read it every day, it is quite inspiring. Today's, April 5th, starts with "We love him because He loved us first" and then does on to say, "We bless Thee for little children and thank Thee for their prattle and laughter, their trust and purity. Bless the little ones touched by our influence and forguard against us making crooked pathways, lest they will follow......". It goes on. See, while heart deep in my relationship with MW, I was "HE", in the "we loved him because He loved us first", and her children were "WE". In April 5th, 2005, her and I were talking about the children, us, and how things would all work out, or how hard it might be. And I recalled the morning prayer, and thought "its a miracle", that they would love me because I WAS loving them first... I was a huge part of their lives and they didn't even know it. But I was. Now, I'd like to think that I did make some sort of positive difference in their lives, I KNOW I did. Its just all too different now. I would NEVER be "HE" now... They wouldn't love me because I loved them first, they would hate me because I loved HER in an affair........! I am, for the first time ins all of this believing in the term, "affair fog". OWL, you told me so... Amen Edited April 5, 2010 by a LoveShack.org Moderator Link to post Share on other sites
In_Repair Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 Actually, if I'm not mistaken, you would be the crooked pathway. Right? The warning is that the mothers influence will also lead them down a crooked path...? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Actually, if I'm not mistaken, you would be the crooked pathway. Right? The warning is that the mothers influence will also lead them down a crooked path...? sure, I was the "crooked path" if you want to look at it that way... can't say I wasnt, although I CAN say it wasnt "intentional"... I still believe that IF things were handled differently though, that I COULD have been the "HE" that loved them first and I DO believe that they would have loved me too... Link to post Share on other sites
In_Repair Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 sure, I was the "crooked path" if you want to look at it that way... can't say I wasnt, although I CAN say it wasnt "intentional"... I still believe that IF things were handled differently though, that I COULD have been the "HE" that loved them first and I DO believe that they would have loved me too... It's not that I'm only looking at it that way... I mean, it's a Christian prayer book. Just in case you took that the wrong way, I really wasn't trying to be a prick, just talking. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 Why are you dwelling upon things that happened in 2005? Not dwelling, just read todays Prayer and remembered what it meant at one time, at least to me, and honestly, just how awfully wrong it was of me to make "HE", me.... That's what the fog does I guess.... Again, not dwelling, just saying Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 It's not that I'm only looking at it that way... I mean, it's a Christian prayer book. Just in case you took that the wrong way, I really wasn't trying to be a prick, just talking. no, youre good... It IS a Christian Prayer book, and obviously "HE" is God, NOT me.... and for that, it was wrong for me to think the thoughts I thought... It was so easy to "manipulate" things, to manipulate turning "wrong" into "right", just as I did with this.... But now, things are a ton clearer now... and, IF anybody that was like me, not believing in the term "affair fog", then maybe I can help someone... Link to post Share on other sites
In_Repair Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 But now, things are a ton clearer now... and, IF anybody that was like me, not believing in the term "affair fog", then maybe I can help someone... The "affair fog" is a strong force. I got lucky in that regard, because I had already watched the effects of my (ex)wife being lost in it. Reading posts here on LS also helped me keep things in perspective. Link to post Share on other sites
NoIDidn't Posted April 5, 2010 Share Posted April 5, 2010 I agree that the affair fog is some strong stuff. That was some serious twisting of Scripture. I know what you mean though. I've twisted quite a few in my various fogs too. Affair fog isn't the only kind. Glad you are getting clear of it. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 I agree that the affair fog is some strong stuff. That was some serious twisting of Scripture. I know what you mean though. I've twisted quite a few in my various fogs too. Affair fog isn't the only kind. Glad you are getting clear of it. you know, the thing is, it is a "manipulation" of Scripture since this was an Affair... However, would it be the same IF I was to think the very same way IF she was available with her children? Wouldnt God have wanted me to "love them first" the ways that I did, doing the things that I did for them with all of the love in my heart? I bet so.. But, since this WAS an affair, what I did, how I manipulated was very, very wrong and I am sorry Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 I call it Affair Fungus. Because if you don't get rid of it, it keeps coming back. Sorry for the tj, Tex. what is this? Toe Jam? Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 5, 2010 Author Share Posted April 5, 2010 :cool:I guess you're new around here... Thread Jack:cool: I actually prefer belly button lint over Toe Jam. "new around here"? look at you, Old Timer.. you've been here a month longer than me, LOL! but my goodness, look at all then posts you got there. Work much? but if you mix the two with some good, aged Ear Wax, now you're stinkin! Link to post Share on other sites
share&care Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I call it Affair Fungus. Because if you don't get rid of it, it keeps coming back. Sorry for the tj, Tex. ha ha ha ha ha ha ha:p...to funny... Link to post Share on other sites
jennie-jennie Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 John 4:19 This is not a thread of "drama" really, more of one of "it's funny how things work out" I have a daily prayer book, it's about 100 years old. I try to read it every day, it is quite inspiring. Today's, April 5th, starts with "We love him because He loved us first" and then does on to say, "We bless Thee for little children and thank Thee for their prattle and laughter, their trust and purity. Bless the little ones touched by our influence and forguard against us making crooked pathways, lest they will follow......". It goes on. See, while heart deep in my relationship with MW, I was "HE", in the "we loved him because He loved us first", and her children were "WE". In April 5th, 2005, her and I were talking about the children, us, and how things would all work out, or how hard it might be. And I recalled the morning prayer, and thought "its a miracle", that they would love me because I WAS loving them first... I was a huge part of their lives and they didn't even know it. But I was. Now, I'd like to think that I did make some sort of positive difference in their lives, I KNOW I did. Its just all too different now. I would NEVER be "HE" now... They wouldn't love me because I loved them first, they would hate me because I loved HER in an affair........! I am, for the first time ins all of this believing in the term, "affair fog". OWL, you told me so... Amen Wow, it sounds to me like you are in the post-affair fog. Link to post Share on other sites
Owl Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I am, for the first time ins all of this believing in the term, "affair fog". OWL, you told me so... Amen You know, Texan...its always too bad that people generally don't realize I'm right till well after the fact. I may be old, and the feathers aren't as glossy as they used to be...but even an old bird gets things right once in a while. Glad that you're doing well, my friend. Link to post Share on other sites
anne1707 Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 I am, for the first time ins all of this believing in the term, "affair fog". OWL, you told me so... He's a wise old bird that Owl Strange thing about that fog is that whilst in the affair you can't see it. Yet once you are out of the affair, you can see how much clearer things are and how your judgement had been clouded in the past. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 He's a wise old bird that Owl Strange thing about that fog is that whilst in the affair you can't see it. Yet once you are out of the affair, you can see how much clearer things are and how your judgement had been clouded in the past. yes, and now I see a fog in the middle of a blizzard surrounded by a typhoon.... Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 FA just posted this on another thread. Imma post it for you: "I told her (neice) that when she gets tired of standing in a puddle of sh*t and smelling sh*t, she will crawl out of the sh*t, wash herself off and truly move on. Until then she will just stand in the puddle of sh*t, and smell sh*t and be angry that no one will spray perfume around her." I'm not "dwelling", just recognizing where I WAS Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 It'd be nice to see you looking FORWARD instead of BACKWARD, Tex. Good thing about baggage is that you can put it down if you really choose to. I get it. I read this "yes, and now I see a fog in the middle of a blizzard surrounded by a typhoon.... " in the present tense as it was written. I should have read it you NOW see you WERE in a fog etc etc etc. Ok fine. My comment about looking forward still stands. Im making Enchiladas tomorrow... Link to post Share on other sites
ladydesigner Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 Ima Texan all your cookin' is making me hungry:p Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 Ima Texan all your cookin' is making me hungry:p Let me know what you are hungry for and I'll whip somthin' up for ya.. OR, give you a recipe Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 6, 2010 Author Share Posted April 6, 2010 I hope your enchiladas give you the ultimate happiness. Enchiladas were her favorite... there was this one time when we were making them together and we got sauce all over ourselves and we... JUST KIDDIN Link to post Share on other sites
bentnotbroken Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 Not dwelling, just read todays Prayer and remembered what it meant at one time, at least to me, and honestly, just how awfully wrong it was of me to make "HE", me.... That's what the fog does I guess.... Again, not dwelling, just saying I must admit, I was taken aback and more than a little disgusted by the thought. Glad you clarified. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 7, 2010 Author Share Posted April 7, 2010 I must admit, I was taken aback and more than a little disgusted by the thought. Glad you clarified. I am glad that you are glad that I clarified... I think I wrote it to where it sounded wrong.. I didnt mean that I thought I was God.. Just the words, simply the words that they might have said one day.. "We love him (me) because "he" (me) loved them first..." That because I loved them all along, that because of that love, it would be easier for them to love me one day... Did I do better?? Thanks Bent Link to post Share on other sites
Author Ima Texan Posted April 7, 2010 Author Share Posted April 7, 2010 Still sounds pretty self-centered, buddy. I don't understand. Link to post Share on other sites
Fallen Angel Posted April 7, 2010 Share Posted April 7, 2010 Still sounds pretty self-centered, buddy. jthorne, I can understand what Tex is saying, because I have seen that in action. When my children met my sweetheart, my youngest was just pleased to meet someone new (she has never met a stranger, everyone is a "friend" she has yet to meet). My oldest was on the fence, he knew that my sweetheart was married, and was worried that I would end up hurt, but he was willing to give him a fair chance to "prove" himself worthy of being with mom. But my middle child; she was very distraught, and distrustful. She loved her father without question, and looked at this new man in my life as an invader to be repelled. The abuse was all she knew, and she didn't know what love looked like directed towards me. Her father had told her that my relationship with my sweetheart made me a whore, and she believed it. She thought him a horrible man, with ill intentions. Despite her feelings towards him, he saw her and her hateful behaviour towards him for what it was, and loved her despite it. When he would come to visit, he would hang out and play and laugh with us. (I do silly things with my kids like turning the music up so loud the windows shake and dancing on the coffee table with the doors and windows thrown wide while we sing horribly at the top of our lungs and annoy the neighbors.) She used to love doing this with me and her siblings, but when he was around she would sit in the corner and glower. When she would sit and sulk I would ask him to ignore her rude behaviour and continue having fun with us; but instead he would grab a chair, park it next to her and ask if he could hang out with her. He would ask her about her day, he would talk with her about all the drama that exists in the life of a, then, 10 yr old girl. He would show her affection even though she would rebuke his every attempt. But he loved her, and he would not give up. I remember when the change came about, it was when she had a science paper due about the ocean. She was looking online to find pictures of ocean animals to draw. He told her that he would bring her some sharks teeth, and some sea life fossils that he had so she could use them as props when she had to present her paper orally. She was noncommital as to if she would like that or not. A few days later he came back to visit again (at this time he was only coming to visit for a few hours, not staying overnights), and before he even hugged me hello, he was digging around in his vehicle for a bag full of things he had brought her for her presentation. When he left that evening, she said to me, "Wow, mom. He remembered, and he brought me the sharks teeth and stuff." See, it was the first time a man in her life had told her he would do something and followed through with it. After that she blossomed around him. Now, if she has something great happen to her, she wants to share it with mom first, and him next. When he comes back after a long absence, she tries to beat me out the door to greet him. See, she loves him, because he loved her first. And because he loved her first, he was unwilling to give up on her. There are many men who would have never spent the months and months being treated the way he did by her and keep coming back for more. But he loved her first, and so she was able to allow herself to love him. Link to post Share on other sites
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