Crush on my Guy Friend

[kimbop]

I have a great guy friend. He's extremely attractive, personable, and interesting. The problem is that he's a manwhore. Yes. Just two weeks ago he slept with a girlfriend (more like an acquaintance) of mine, and it was just a one night stand. He's the epitome of man sl**iness. He dates 2-3 girls at a time, and he always dumps them because they're boring. I've met some of the women he dates, and they are unattractive and quite boring. It seems like he has no standards when it comes to women, and he knows he has awful taste in women. He says so himself. If they walk with the right female equipment, he's game to bed them but nothing more.

 

Here's the problem: I've been friends with him for 5 years already. After my breakup with my serious bf, he was such a wonderful friend to me and helped me extremely to get over him. He's always there for me, and I talk to him daily via text all day. We hang out almost weekly. I've had a crush on him when I first met him years ago but that passed when I found what a man*** he was. But now suddenly my attraction to him has me very much disturbed.

 

I know I'm not the hottest girl ever, but in comparison to the girls he've been with lately, I'm much better than all of them in looks and personality (not to toot my own horn or anything but it's true). The thing is I've always tried to tell him that I'm asexual and genderless (so he and I can have the best friendship ever), but recently, it's not the case. I don't know what to do. I want to be good friends with him and don't want to lose this great friendship (which is rare between a single man and woman at our age). And he wants me to meet his mother. What can I do?

[WTRanger]

Is it really a great friendship, or was he just trying to score you on the rebound? Guys are like crocodiles, we'll wait years and years just to jump on something. Is he that great of a friend or is he just hoping for a pity screw?

 

If he's such a man whore, then I suspect there's less of a friendship than you imagine. Plus, given the information you know, he'll to the EXACT same to you. You know this. You are smarter than this.

 

If you want to give into your base animal instincts and have a wild romp in the sack, go for it. But just do not expect him to treat you any different than the other girls.

[Eurydice]

In a perfect world, we would be the one to turn a cherished friend's bad personality traits around. We could point them out and things would be certain to change.

 

It may well be that your friend is in a phase in life and eventually will grow up when he meets the right person but I wouldn't hold my breath hoping for that to come around, and especially with your influence. I don't mean to sound harsh. If he's bouncing between girls' beds then he might well be looking for something, and he doesn't necessarily know what that is. Guessing the personality dynamics here is difficult, but he just may not be ready to settle to feeling some self-esteem issues or more.

 

Being a supportive friend is one thing, but being into him and hoping you'll be the different person... that isn't easy.

[kimbop]

it is a great frienship. Well I think so. He put me up there with his other friend who's a girl whom I know is really close to him. I doubt he's in there for a screw especially when he has a baskin robbins flavor of other women he can use and abuse.

 

Well I hope not. I broke up with my bf over a year ago, and my guy friend has been the best friend since then. He can't be waiting that long. I don't think he's even attracted to me especially since I've told him I wouldn't touch him with a ten foot pole forever.

[WTRanger]

Are you sure you're not jealous that he decided to have sex with one of your friends and not you? Is your Ego controlling your emotions, which sometimes it can. If you take a step back, you'll realize that it was more of a raw Ego, petty jealousy sort of attraction rather than something real.

 

Ask yourself, what do YOU want to do? You need to figure out where he fits in YOUR life, then proceed accordingly.

[whichwayisup]

Don't do anything. Let the crush fade and just continue to care about him, as a good friend. If you two fool around or have sex, it'll kill off what you have with him now and it'll take a LONG time to feel comfortable and at peace with eachother.

 

This guy isn't long term relationship material. You know him, and seen how he is.

[kimbop]

yeah. My crush has subsided. It was more a female territory type thing than anything else. The girl is completely obsessed with him, and it was driving me nuts. I told her to not talk about him again with me. If she goes psycho, then she has his number, so she can do it to him.