things said last night have made this harder...

[purplehouse]

So we spoke last night. I was a bit upset because of all the uncertainty. I asked him if i am worth coming back for at some point. He said he doesn't know.

 

He will know in a couple of months wether or not he will come back. If he does come back he has to finish out his 6 month lease first and financially will have to have things in place to do so. Totally doable... i would wait.

 

But He said if in a couple of months he will know what he is doing and that if he decides to stay then this will be too hard. I agree and told him that anyway. This is not something we could do forever.

 

So he has basically told me that i have to wait for him to know whether i am worth coming back for... lol.

 

I asked him if he would have waited for me.....he said no. He said "if you had left then that would have been my answer" and that at this point he chose moving over being with me but that Nothing or no one could have made him stay, because he needed to be sure.

 

But he thinks i am amazing for waiting...???

 

 

So after knowing that he would not have waited for me if he had been in my position and knowing that him leaving was what he chose i just feel like crap now.

 

He still stands by the fact he wants to be with me and see how this pans out as he will know more in time, but the reality is he left, he doesn't know if he will come back and i can't follow him at this point.

I don't know if i should continue..... i mean i want to but am i being naive???

 

He is confused because i don't know what to do but and we have not shared our usual sweet texts today.. it seems to be up in the air but all on me to decide. He says it's up to me and that he can't help me with my decision.

 

 

what to do?

[Rollercoasterr]

Well, if he says that if you left he would know the answer he needed, shouldn't you also know the answer?

 

I don't agree with, or like double standards. And this is a big one. He wouldn't stay for you, but he wants you to stay for him.

 

Honestly, after last night I(personally) would have told him that if he would have known his answer, then that means I know mine and I would never speak to him again. Why should you do something for him that he wouldn't do for you?

[Deeblondie82]

Rollercoaster is right! I think if a guy doesnt know about it and has doubts then thats the answer. Maybe you need to step back and let him figure things out and do your thing. If he gets his act together and your still single and wanting to be with him go for it. I mean if someone is unsure then whos to say he wont be unsure later?

[aerogurl87]

So he wouldn't wait for you but your amazing for waiting for him? Well OP if that's the case, what does that say about him? I think (and this is just my personal opinion) that he's not worth it if he wants such a double standard. If my guy told me that I'd been long gone by now.

[BettyBoop]

I asked him if i am worth coming back for at some point. He said he doesn't know.

 

If my boyfriend said that to me I would say "Well, I know that I am definitely worth coming back for. Unfortunately, since you do not know that yourself I will have to find someone who agrees with me. I'm not going to waste 6 months of my life waiting for someone who isn't sure if I'm worth it or not."

 

Seriously. Don't wait up for a man who might just string you along for 6 months and then flat out tell you "Told you I didn't know - so you can't be mad at me" when he decides you're not worth it to him.

 

I think it's awful he said he would not do the same for you - I take that pretty much as a "no, you're not worth it." I'm so sorry.