My ex got engaged 3 months after our breakup!!!!

[lost tears]

Hello!

I found out that my ex, (we broke up about 3 months ago after a year of beeing together) is getting engaged with her rebound relationship.

I could tell even after she broke up with me that she was attracted to me and we kept contact cos we love eachother. She broke up with me cos I didnt show her my feelings. I was really inlove with her but when I realised am sooo inlove and that I have started actually loving this woman, I got afraid! I was always there for her and she knew that and also saw it. But i failed to show her I was inlove with her. I was afraid cos of 2 past bad relationships. I loved her but was afraid to show her im inlove with her! And I also had some family problems cos my mother was very ill so, I kind closed in on myself. This girl wanted to marry me but it was all to fast!! It made me scared!

When she broke up with me I still showed her I love her by still doing things for her cos I loved her and she was always grateful for that. And I still do! Even after she got involved with this new guy, she still wanted to meet as friends but she still cuddled next to me and all. Now I found out that she is getting engaged with this new guy. Look at it.. breaking up out of an over a year relationship, getting involved with a new guy like in less than a month after, and deciding to get engaged without even beeing with him 2 months. But how is it possible to do something so fast? She is 30 (im am 30 also) and I understand that she wants to settle down. I have told her that I love her and I want to marry her.. She says its too late now and that she is over me. But we still met and did some art together, she came to my place a few times and always stayed longer, doing fun things, paying guitars and stuff! Like hours!

I really love this girl and i am afraid she is rushing into things!! I want her to be happy! I really do and I cant try to convince her not to get engaged.. I just told her I think its just to soon getting engaged with a man she has not even been together with 2 full months. I do want her back though!! Im afraid she will get hurt!!! I went to her last sunday to say happy easter holidays and all. She was going away for easter holidays last Monday. We spent like 10 hours together. I told her everything,i read her all the poems I have wrote for her, but never told her. I told her I really love and I want her to be the woman to wake up next to me for the rest of my life. She started crying telling me that it seems so strange that im showing her all this now. we spent a wonderful evening together. She says its too late but in her eyes, I can tell its not. we even kissed and made out a bit. She kissed me!! She didnt want me to leave her house. But still she says she knows what she is doing. ?????? She knows? Getting engaged with her one and half month relationship? She said she loves me soo much and all! She cried alot though.. She seemed a bit confused even if she stated she is not. We took a little nap on the couch holding her in my arms. I mean.. A beautiful thing.. before i left her place at 5 in the morning she suddenly started saying she is over me and that she is sure about what she is doing. That was after all the kissing the nap on the couch in my arms and all the nice evening. She is giving me mixed signals!! Her wrds say she is over me but her actions show the complete opposite! She now knows everything.. And I am sooooo in love with her but most of all I love her!!!! Now,she knows.. We spoke on the phone on Thursday and she told me she was going to get engaged in a few days.. Sunday. Just a week after we spent 10 hours together, cuddled next to me on the couch, kissed me. Do I stop?. I dont know.. Its been soooo hard for me all this time!! My life has changed in such a bad way.. Sometimes i feel i want to just jump of my balcony and hurt my body so i'll have something else to think of.. Just hurts so bad!!!

 

Thanks to everyone that take the time to read my post!

Edited April 6, 2010 by lost tears
correction

[ciu]

Ok...I have got to comment on this because i have also jut broke up with my boyfriend because he was hesitating to bring our relationship to the next level after 2.5 years together. I soo wanted to have that commitment from him and plan a future with him as I loved him so much, but he wasn't ready and didn't even want to think about it...and that broke my heart. I still love him but I know I have got to move on to someone else who is on the same page as I am and willing to give me what I want.

 

let me just be frank with you...you think you miss her and you love her NOW because you have lost her forever to another guy. Why does that bother you? You had your shot, she asked you to marry her and you got scared...AFTER 1 year of relationship. Why do you bother whether she is getting engaged or not after being with that guy for 1 month? She is getting what she wants and apparantely that guy values her and loves her enough to give her what she wants. You set her free by being scared to commit to her. She is 30 dude, she won't hang on you forever....You only know the value of things you had, once you don't have them anymore. I can tell she still has feelings for you and she would have wanted to be engaged to you instead..but she is being rational and not giving in for another heart break with you. If you love her as you say, make sure you are approaching her and telling her this by really meaning it and being ready for actions and not just words. If it is just your ego talking to you now, just leave the girl alone. Don't expect her to throw away whatever she has created with the other guy in these 2 months to get back to an old story which didn't work out and might not work out either in the future. Make sure you know what you want. It won't be fair to her.

[lost tears]

hey ciu!

Thanks a lot for taking time to read and reply!!

I always wanted her. But most of all, I was always there for her any time!! She is so grateful for that and I know it. She never asked me to marry her, but we did talk about it and I never said no. We talked about it though many times and I was open to that. You know, everybody has there ups and downs in the lives and I was going through one of those periods before she broke up with me. And it was my mother being ill. Yes, at that point, I did close in on myself. During that period, I could not think of marriage. But I never stopped being with her..

When I say I want to be with her, marry her, it is coming from inside my heart.. and i talked to her about it before they had decided to get engaged! I told her, I want to marry her.. And you know, I care about her so much that I tell myself, "let her be happy" I dont want her to smile with me.. I want her to smile even without me! But missing her, just hurts bad!!

Edited April 6, 2010 by lost tears
add

[DustySaltus]

She told you that she was getting engaged in a few days? She KNEW the exact date she was getting engaged? Sounds like she could be bluffing...

 

This just doesn't make sense. First of all, she's moving way too fast. Second of all, you are being waaaaayyyyyy to available to her right now. You need to disappear. Cut yourself out of her life and let her live with her decision. All you can do is tell her how you feel, which you did. Now, you have to move forward with your own life.

 

A second chance cannot work unless both people are willing to fix the issues that led to the breakup in the first place. Not only has she not offered to do that, SHE'S GETTING MARRIED! Which by the way makes absolutely no sense because I'm sure the new guy is telling her everything she wants to hear at this point because she's extremely vulnerable.

 

You need to take a few steps back and cease all contact with her. Live your life and if she comes back it will be for the right reasons. However, there still would be a tremendous amount of work to do to get things back on track. The best response going forward is silence.......

[EYECANDY000]

I'm not sure if I believe the whole I'm getting engadged in a few days. It may or maynot be true. But, besides that if it is true there is nothing you can do at this moment. She has already stated that she knows what she's wants, and you couldn't give it to her at the time. Now is the time to pick up the pieces and move on. Yes, it hurts, and I'm sure you are aware of it considering that you have been in two previous relationships that was sour. But now isn't the time to read poems to her, show her your feelings. It will seem like a 'put on'

 

 

Now is the time to focus on yourself and let your ex live her life. It seems like she has it all planned . So let her live her life. You have already expressed that you think its sooo soon for her to get married , and she's making a mistake.. there's nothing more that you can do.

 

I hope you take care of yourself..

[OndaChin]

Sounds like a "Passive-Aggressive" ploy on her part!!

 

 

My Ex did the same thing. 3 months after our break- she was engaged to her "Soul Mate".

 

Funny thing- 8 months later they had a really nasty break-up. (He never gave her an engagement ring either!!

 

I think she's playing with your feelings. No reasonable person (after a LTR break-up) goes and get ENGAGED that fast!!

 

Besides.. why would she really want to tell you this information (knowing it could hurt you)???

 

If I was you- I'd wish her best of luck!! (Im sure that'll get her attention).

[lost tears]

Hello Ondachin!

Sorry to hear about you going through the same thing.

Yeah, before we ended the phone conversation i did wish her all the best and I said to her if she eve needs a hug i'll be just a phone call away.

Then she started on me saying im really important for her and all that.

Well, Im trying to accept it now. I have to!!

Thanks!!