Why so many male newbies?

[tnttim]

It's no secret that 75% of divorces are initiated by women. I'm trying to figure out why. I have looked through 1000's of posts and I can't place my finger on the reason.

 

Women are more in touch with their emotions. Their lives are dictated by which chemical is currently running through their bodies. They have more connections between their right and left brain meaning that memories have emotional baggage attached to them. A study found that 90% of women that D and get into another relationship feel just as bad in a year or 2 as they did in first marriage.

 

My hypothesis is: We are addicted to happy. Our advanced society has created so many outlets to find happiness that we have all become spoiled emotionally.

 

Our fridge breaks and the parts are too expensive to make it worth fixing, so we buy a new one. The old fridge, some sell it, some throw it away, some move it into the basement as a back up fridge.

^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^(Yes this is an analogy)^^^^^^^^^^^^^^^

 

Everything in our lives are basically throw away, buy a new one. Don't be narrow minded and think that we don't do that to fellow human beings either. Drug addict friend, throw away, find a new one. Overly obsessive friend, throw away, find a new one. Spouse, throw away, find a new one. Overbearing family member, throw away, find a new one.

 

This is a fcked up cycle, but it happens day in and day out and even more in America. Hence the ultra high D rate.

 

Why women more than men?

 

When men think of memories they tie their current emotional state into the memory. If they are happy they view the memory as happy, or some what happier. We lack the number connections between right and left brain. When women think of memories they too use their current emotional state but because of the connections they have they also tie into how they felt that moment the memory occured. They can remember something sad, then feel sad, then that causes them to think of another sad time, then another. then another. When the same man is in all those memories, what happens? What happens when she has all those sad feelings and remembers a man/woman that relieved her from those feelings of sadness over and over and it's not her H. Maybe that's why women sometimes resort to lesbianism even though they are truly straight. I have found relieving my W from stress has an everlasting effect on her, and now she turns to me more when stressed. She used to shut down because they was no relief for her unless she took a pill.

 

Men follow logic, a time line of events. They say "but everything was great, we weren't perfect but who is?" Men use a cancelling out system in their head, "I messed up but then I bought her flowers." In our mind the score is even. In women's minds, you still have a strike against you. She liked the flowers, but there was no long lasting emotion tied into the flowers, so they soon forget, and only remember the injustice. The man could have really evened the score if he did something that she would remember emotionally, but we don't naturally think that way.

 

Men marry hoping W will never change, women marry hoping to change H

 

So what happens when W is left with nothing to change because H forgot he was a man, and does everything she says to do. My brother is this man, and I was too, was. His W had a long lasting affair, it was exposed, and they are working it out. He's worked it out by buying her a 10K diamond ring, and continuing to act the same way. Example: Cubs game promise to me turned into an afternoon with his W. I love my Brother but his M will not last, guarenteed. Women strive for spontaneous actions and moments, where are they when you keep doing the same thing. It's nice to buy flowers, but what emotions are tied into that for a women. If you do it all the time then none, if you do it out the blue then she will remember because an emotion has been assigned to that gesture. My W remembers the gifts I buy that had an emotional effect on her, like the day at the spa gift certificate. If I asked her about the time when I got her candy and flowers she would not remember when it happened, or even where. I ask her about the spa and she'll name off the entire hour she was there down to every detail.

 

That's all I got so far

[sotagoon]

Women strive for spontaneous actions and moments

 

 

Funny....seems like a double standard.....Here, you worry about all the responsibilities, I'm gonna just plan on having fun!

 

Oh...you have to do this because otherwise we'll lose the house....ahhhh..we'll just have a going away party!

 

NO?....you're no fun anymore....I want a divorce/space/seperate or just go fck someone else..cause he's gonna give it to me NOW...and it's gonna be fun!

Edited April 6, 2010 by sotagoon

[LonelyTiger]

OK, well first off, while I agree that men and women are wired differently (of course!) it is not true that all women are governed by their emotions and all men are logical and rational - far too simplistic. There is a tendancy in that direction but there are many logical, rational woman and even a fair number of men who are in touch with their emotions - the latter being hard to find, I admit, but they do exist.

 

Yes, we do live in a 'throw away society' but you seem to be suggesting that women are far more ready to throw away their marriages than men and I have to argue that quite strongly. The statistics say that 75% of women 'initiate' the divorce. What that means is they are the ones to file the papers - no other conclusions can be drawn from it.

 

There are many reasons why the woman may be the one to file and it doesn't mean it's because she is the one who wants 'out'.

 

I fought tooth and nail to keep my marriage together while my husband was enjoying a bachelor lifestyle 3000 miles away. When he eventually admitted that he had no intention of returning home to be with me, I was pretty much forced into filing for a divorce. It wasn't what I really wanted but it was the one and only thing I still had control over in our relationship. He wouldn't come home and I couldn't get on with my life while I was still married to him. The end of the marriage was therefore his decision, not mine - but I was still the one that filed for divorce.

 

I don't know what the figures are on here regarding WAWs or WAHs but there seem to be far too many of both. When the W walks it's usually to another man so she'll probably file. When the H walks it is usually to another woman, but in this case, the W will still file. More often than not, it's in her financial interest and in the interest of her children that she does it, rather than sitting around waiting for who knows how long. I think it's generally perceived that the person who files has more control over the situation. I don't know if that's true or just a perception.

 

Even in this day and age a married man usually has more financial independence than his wife and, if he walks, he does so without the burden of the children and a divorce is likely to be very expensive for him. Unless he wants to remarry where's the incentive for him to file?

 

I think a lot of what you've said here, especially about emotions, is far too generalised. You may want to conveniently club us all together but, in reality, all women are different and, in my experience, so are all men.

[You Go Girl]

Woah! Slow Nelly!

 

Now just because you've heard that men are more logical, don't believe it for a minute. Now I know you're a guy, so you'd like to think it is true that men are more logical (sits well with guys, doesn't it?) and that women are all emotional (meaning unlogical--meaning men have the upper hand in better thinking?) it's all balderdash.

Men are more ANALYTICAL. That's not logical--but it's a nuts and bolts type of repair to relationships. Hence the buying flowers to repair some other damage. It doesn't work, because what the woman wants is the damage addressed DIRECTLY!

There's no substituting issues with flowers. Guys, don't think it will work. It won't, I can guarantee it lol

Men are just as emotional. They express it differently. They are less in touch with their emotions, but that doesn't mean that those emotions aren't there--just means they are buried too often behind the machismo facade.

When I get to the heart of every male I've ever known, I find just as emotional of a person, but that person is more afraid to express those emotions completely, especially any emotions that are less than STRONG in appearance. That's not a strength in my book--it's actually a weakness, to be afraid of showing completely who one is.

Now wait--I'll get to the women bashing in a minute. Don't think I'll be unfair.

Why won't the flowers substitution work? Because women are interested in correcting, yes, changing, the thought pattern that led to the issue that they perceive as an incorrect action or response. This is a logic issue here--they want to understand your logic when you have an issue, because it disagrees obviously with their logic.

Women have a lot of logic--dont' think for a minute they don't. And when they have an issue with you--it's your logic that they are questioning. Buying flowers means that the logic behind whatever it was, might not have changed at all, hence, the very same logic could be used again, and a similar situation will probably happen, so nothing has been fixed in a woman's point of view, until the issue is fixed directly.

In otherwords--there's no getting a get out of jail free card with flowers or any other method. There's no circumventing the issue. Guys often don't get that! We know that the same pattern of logic will be used again, and annoy us again, if not changed. And quite frankly--we think you are trying to circumvent the issue, trying to avoid having to change whatever it is, by appeasing us with flowers.

Not that the flowers aren't nice, they are. But they're just flowers--the conversation, discussion of the issue, is what will or won't satisfy our problem with your behavior.

Yep--we have a memory like an elephant. We forget nothing. NOTHING. But, we can forgive, and we do that when there is evidence that you GET what our problem was with your behavior in the first place. We ONLY forgive when we know it's safe to forgive and we're not going to get burned again with a similar action.

Now some men go as far as even trying to avoid change, trying to pacify us pretending to change, then sneak whatever behavior it was, pissing us off all the more by insulting our intelligence. They're the worst kind to have around. And yes, there are women who do the same.

We are slow to forgive. Perhaps that's a flaw in us. More than likely, that slowness to forgive is based upon watching, waiting, to see if whatever hurt us is going to happen again. It is a self-preservation act, that slowness to forgive. Can you blame us for self-preservation?

Another side to that coin, is that we are pedantic in our memory banks of 'wrongs'. Yep, we never forget. That can be bad. Things that men might consider small stuff, we can sweat over. We do need to be reminded to NOT sweat the small stuff. We're annoying that way. But, we're wired for it, and I doubt we could change it if we wanted to. It does mellow with age and maturity, this sweating the small stuff.

Yes, there are plenty of stupid women out there, as there are stupid men. I'm not talking about the stupid ones. Who knows what logic or lack thereof they use.

 

Now on divorce, I completely agree that more women are throwing away marriages these days than men. Why?

I believe men don't like change as much as women. That's not really as high of standards as women have. However women are far more likely to believe that the grass is greener on the other side of the fence, only to find out later that it's not, too late.

Men prefer to stay comfortable. Yeah, there's been issues, but shrug them off, and stay with the familiar. Women want to empower themselves, and part of this transition in this period in history of western society is women throwing away marriages as they seek to --well, simply, get what they want. Men have been getting what they want for thousands of years. We're evening that score a little, but often at a great cost to ourselves.

It's apparent in affairs now. Women having affairs too--it used to be just the men.

One thing that men can do is realize it's an even playing field these days. That doesn't mean throw away chivalry. We still prefer gentlemen, just as you still prefer a lady, I assume. Some of us make the mistake of wanting a gentleman--but not being a lady ourselves. I speak for myself, I suppose there are plenty of women out there who wouldn't recognize a gentleman if he was standing right in front of her, not being a lady herself. But I do believe that these women later regret and pay dearly for not being a lady.

I suppose that paragrah sounds all old-fashioned. Well substitute gentleman and lady for acting with self-respect.

Double standards are still alive and well with plenty of men though. And you are physically the stronger sex, and can overpower us. Please don't. Use that power to protect us from harm.

[phineas]

It's just so much easier & cheaper for a man to just wait until the woman files first.

 

After I caught my STBXW cheating, she bailed on me. Left me with all the past due bills, mortgage, equity loan payments ect.

 

It took everything I had to catch that stuff up.

 

I couldn't come up with the cash for the lawyer.

She did.

So much cheaper for me.

[plowman]

My STBX initiated this. never wanted to go to counseling, and is now f%$#ing someone else. I am filing because she wont shes happy to keep things as they are. I wonder how many times this happens

[mikeymad]

Because men are basically relationship stupid, and by the time problems surface of a certain magnitude, the wife has already had her fill and is out the door. Since men don't have the social network women do, and have often made the woman their social center, they have nowhere to reach out to. Thus they talk to strangers, where they can open up without any reservation of personal judgement. Mostly because of the macho bs about "men don't share their feelings, because it's nobody's damn business". They don't have to endure weird looks, or the actual pain of saying the words "my marriage is/has failed". But here in anonymous internet-land, their time spend looking up football stats and porn turns to actually learning something about themselves and relationships. This is almost like marriage boot-camp, and I think should be a prerequisite for any couple about to exchange vows about the perils that lie ahead if they aren't careful. Heading up this program would be the "Marriage Marine" Gunny.

 

 

My advice to you is to get married. If you find a good wife, you'll be happy; if not, you'll become a philosopher.

SOCRATES

Edited April 6, 2010 by mikeymad

[tnttim]

Now just because you've heard that men are more logical, don't believe it for a minute. Now I know you're a guy, so you'd like to think it is true that men are more logical (sits well with guys, doesn't it?) and that women are all emotional (meaning unlogical--meaning men have the upper hand in better thinking?) it's all balderdash.

I love your response, now we are getting somewhere.

 

I don't think men have the upper hand, the number of male LS members prove that. I think men think in an A-B-C fashion. Where A is first, B is second and C is third, or C then B then A. Linear thinking, patterns. Women think more dynamically. To a women it can be any combination, it could be A-A-C, or just A. They don't focus on the patterns they focus on the dynamics of the A,B,C. Women think about what the A,B,C mean, and which holds the most importance. Each letter has a value assigned to it. So to a women it can A-b-c.

 

That's why roses don't work to a women and make sense to a man. I did (A) she did (B) and I did ©. Man didn't know that ©, buying flowers only made up for (B), her getting mad. What about (A), what the man did to cause the conflict. The (A) "what he did" was the most important part of the equation to the woman, but we used logic and thought © made up for it. So in our mind when we do (A), we will do © because we know that (B) is coming.

 

I am a mover and I meet literally 150 new women a year, plus I get to see how they live, and how they act in a stressful time.

 

Every women I've moved explained in way more detail the emotions they were going through at that time. They explain why they want a certain piece of furniture in a spot in more detail. They tell me the story behind a certain piece of furniture. Just last week a women told me she was separated from her boyfriend and then explained the feelings she was having. Women run on emotions, it drives their lives.

 

Men surpress their feelings. We think out our feelings, women talk out their feelings. That's why some men don't understand women's feelings. We think if she she's saying it, she must feel that way strongly. Men first try to think out the problems then talk, women talk out the problems then think. That's why at work I get way more information than I need out of women. She is thinking out loud, she needs to talk to get to the solution. I used to think women's standards were really high, but then I realized that she was just expressing what she was feeling at that moment in time. So in turn when I would get a long winded response to a simple question, I would remain patient because I understood what she had to do to give me an answer. I also understand that when she's in a bad mood it's not because what I did recently, or at all. She might be in a bad mood and venting it out in me. I used to get mad in return, now I keep my emotions in check and consider the outlying reasons. So when she gets home from work and gets mad cause the house is a mess, I don't immediately assume she's mad cause the house is a mess, it may be because she had a bad day. Yesterday she got mad at me while she was at work. I normally would just say, she's a btch, then get mad in return. But now I just stood my ground and didn't feed the fire. When she came home she said she was sorry she was having a fight with boss at the same time. She was still in a bad mood and wanted to be left alone, so I left her alone. I didn't take it personally like I would have before, the ABC me. The new me understands that I cannot use my logic to change her feelings. I also understood that ABC thinking would have resulted in a fight, and maybe an even greater fight when she got home.

 

I am not claiming I know how women think. I understand the process and I understand that emotions play a way bigger role to women. They call it the small stuff, but it's far from small. The small stuff is what separates a masterpiece from a piece of sht. The small stuff is the reason separations and divorces happen, every single one.

[Nomad1]

tnttim. In answer to your original question, I think that the reason why so many men are here, is because they 'CARE'. There are commonalities in the stories that many men who come on LS share. They often do the following:

 

1. Work hard outside the home

2. Often do more than their fare share of domestic chores

3. Power relations between them and the 'wife' are skewed in her favour

4. Are emotional and caring

5. Love their children and would do anything for them

6. Are very forgiving and would contemplate going back with a cheating wife

7. Allow their former significant other to treat them like 'merde'

8. Worry too much about finances etc.

9. Are concerned about what the wife is up to, where she is etc

10. believe in Plan A / B doormat bible

11. I could go on!

 

Until a man respects himself, no woman will show him any respect. A wife who as much as entertains an E/A is history. A man has to have firm boundaries. No game playing either eg. 180 ought not to be a game, but a response to a realisation that the XHEX (as my man Gunny says) has lost the privilege of my presence!

[onedayatatyme]

Until a man respects himself, no woman will show him any respect. A wife who as much as entertains an E/A is history. A man has to have firm boundaries. No game playing either eg. 180 ought not to be a game, but a response to a realisation that the XHEX (as my man Gunny says) has lost the privilege of my presence!

 

This is the way I finally feel and it is great :D:D

 

This crazy woman does not deserve the priviledge of my presence or continued support. At this point I'm ready to pay her to leave. Just like a hooker, you're not paying them for sex, you're paying them to leave afterward. Sorry, ladies, if that sounds crude. It's just the class of person I associate my stbx with.

[sumdude]

For the 3+ years I've been posting this board there have always been more men posting. Mostly I think it's because women are more likely to already have a support network in place. Men also tend to be more in the dark and surprised when the feces hits the fan.

 

There is an assumption out there IRL that I ran into. After a couple months of saying 'sorry you're going through that' most people tune out. After all the reality is no one wants to hear and see a man whine or look weak. After a few months they just think you should be over it already. I don't care what people say about how a man should express sadness and down emotions, in the real world when they actually see it they get turned off.

 

So the internet is the perfect refuge for a man who needs anonymous emotional support.

Edited April 7, 2010 by sumdude

[onedayatatyme]

There is an assumption out there IRL that I ran into. After a couple months of saying 'sorry you're going through that' most people tune out. After all the reality is no one wants to hear and see a man whine or look weak. After a few months they just think you should be over it already. I don't care what people say about how a man should express sadness and down emotions, in the real world when they actually see it they get turned off.

 

So the internet is the perfect refuge for a man who needs anonymous emotional support.

 

Lot's of truth to this. A man kicked in the balls gets old after a while.

[You Go Girl]

Wow. Guys do have it hard with that. It's true--guys are expected to get tough after awhile, no matter how hard the blow, with women it is acceptable to keep crying for a long time. But, regardless of gender, any friend of mine that was whining after a few months would get the subject changed. It's uncomfortable for either gender to have to listen to the same sad song over and over.

But this type of forum is really terrific for you guys. I applaud every one of you that comes here. You can anonymously show that you have a weak side. Too bad you have to do that incognito.

The insensitive man--the type women despise--for the most part isn't here anyway. There's a few, I've seen their curt one-sided responses to things, but they're few and far between.

Actually, most of you guys that are here--are the type women are looking for--Guys that actually think through what happened in a failed relationship, or love enough to even ponder what happened. Thoughtful.

And now I see why you keep posting about the 180, NC, and the alpha male stuff. You believe that since you are here--there's a good chance you're "beta", and that's what caused your w to walk or cheat.

I'm a little older than the 20 and 30 something's on here. It might be why I

value a different type of man, finding the insensitive alpha male the exact thing I want to avoid. So I forget that most of you are dealing with women that are still attracted to jerks.

Society expects you to restrain your emotions moreso than women.

Maybe tnttim--it's not so much that we are more emotional, just that we are allowed to be.

[You Go Girl]

.

 

That's why roses don't work to a women and make sense to a man. I did (A) she did (B) and I did ©. Man didn't know that ©, buying flowers only made up for (B), her getting mad. What about (A), what the man did to cause the conflict. The (A) "what he did" was the most important part of the equation to the woman, but we used logic and thought © made up for it. So in our mind when we do (A), we will do © because we know that (B) is coming.

 

The small stuff is the reason separations and divorces happen, every single one.

 

What I underlined--just how logical was it to think C made up for A? You said "we used logic"....woah, no you did not, because that's NOT LOGICAL.

What the woman asks for--that A is addressed directly--now that's logical.

You're right about the small stuff........good point!

 

As for having a bad day at work and then taking it out at home--I can think of no better example than my father. He was a terror if he had a bad day.

So that type of thing isn't gender specific.

[sumdude]

Actually, most of you guys that are here--are the type women are looking for--Guys that actually think through what happened in a failed relationship, or love enough to even ponder what happened. Thoughtful.

And now I see why you keep posting about the 180, NC, and the alpha male stuff. You believe that since you are here--there's a good chance you're "beta", and that's what caused your w to walk or cheat.

I'm a little older than the 20 and 30 something's on here. It might be why I

value a different type of man, finding the insensitive alpha male the exact thing I want to avoid. So I forget that most of you are dealing with women that are still attracted to jerks.

Society expects you to restrain your emotions moreso than women.

Maybe tnttim--it's not so much that we are more emotional, just that we are allowed to be.

 

 

I'd say most men are in their 30's and up when divorce happens. I was 39 and my ex wife was 38. As far as the beta thing? It's more of the fact that when your wife leaves you, usually for another man it tends to give your self esteem a big whack in the cojones for a little while. Plus the idea that you somehow 'failed' at your marriage. I think this affects men and women similarly when you are the one who was suddenly tossed aside for another. So the 180's, MC and everything else are to regain some control of your own life regardless of your ex or stbx

 

And really, there's no age limit for bad behavior or decision making either.

[threebyfate]

Woman: You just shot my dog.

Man: Here`s a HHHHUUUGGGGEEEE bouquet of expensive flowers to offset your dog from the shelter. This should offset any loss. We`re now even.

[dgiirl]

The statistics say that 75% of women 'initiate' the divorce. What that means is they are the ones to file the papers - no other conclusions can be drawn from it.

 

I agree 100%. That is ALL the stat can say!

 

I, too, was one of those whose husband asked for a divorce and left, but never had the balls to go through with it. According to my lawyer, the one who files does have an advantage, they are the ones who are initiating the legal action and thus the other spouse has to respond to legal action. Basically, he who files calls the shots and the other has to respond or face legal repercussions. It definitely worked in my interest. If I had waited for my ex to clean up his mess, I bet I'd still be a single "married" woman.

 

As for mostly men on this forum, I think it only shows that majority of those who would seek and need and feel comfortable with anonymous support are men. Men are also more likely to be technical and comfortable with the computer. Most of the other forums I belong to are also dominated by men. So men are probably more comfortable with online communication. Especially if they feel the need to "hide" their feelings because it's not "manly" enough.

[mikeymad]

As for mostly men on this forum, I think it only shows that majority of those who would seek and need and feel comfortable with anonymous support are men. Men are also more likely to be technical and comfortable with the computer. Most of the other forums I belong to are also dominated by men. So men are probably more comfortable with online communication. Especially if they feel the need to "hide" their feelings because it's not "manly" enough.

 

Or it's because most guys have no one to seek out to talk about their issues (what friggin guy my age is going to give me ANY solid advice on divorce, let alone a few to give me differing viewpoints) so they search out that advice on places like this, or call up their old drinkin buddy Ron who they fish/hunt/play poker with once a week, and actually would have to have a conversation of depth. When I let all my college friends/buddies know what I was going through (and why I was being such a pud lately) all they could say give me the ol "sorry dude, let me know if I can help" speech...that was 4 months ago. Number of people who have called to check on me? 1. How many times? 1. It's probably not that they don't care, they themselve have no friggin clue how to approach a situation like this. Like minded people here are finding a place to get help and to help. I would hope people leave here with more than they expected, and more than they hoped for. I know I am thankful for each and every person here, and to the genius who created this board, whom I would most certainly be lost (because I freaked out a little bit last night when it was down, and I know I'm not the only one).

Edited April 7, 2010 by mikeymad

[dgiirl]

Or it's because most guys have no one to seek out to talk about their issues (what friggin guy my age is going to give me ANY solid advice on divorce, let alone a few to give me differing viewpoints)

 

I agree! I'm just tired of women being vilified by this "statistic" just because it appears there are more men on this forum whose wives left. The women on this forum hurt just as much as the men, and it can hurt when someone makes generalizations, and casts them into the same group as their exes just because of their gender.

[Nomad1]

I think that different people handle it differently. I immediately filed for divorce, although the ex wife asked me get back together and stop the divorce and house sale. I forged ahead and never told a soul. When I moved home, two years later, I nonchalantly mentioned it to colleagues at the pub, but added that it all ended two years prior. Immediately after the split, even when I was still living in the same house, I stared dating left, right and centre. I am not proud of what I did, but it took my mind off things. I don't mean to be big-headed, but as far as self-esteem goes, I felt a real boost. I have now been with a woman for over a year and we are living together. It feels fine, but I have learnt that there are no guarantees in life and I am not looking for any. My priorities are my career, finances and of course the children, but they are fairly independent now.

[You Go Girl]

Or it's because most guys have no one to seek out to talk about their issues (what friggin guy my age is going to give me ANY solid advice on divorce, let alone a few to give me differing viewpoints) so they search out that advice on places like this, or call up their old drinkin buddy Ron who they fish/hunt/play poker with once a week, and actually would have to have a conversation of depth. When I let all my college friends/buddies know what I was going through (and why I was being such a pud lately) all they could say give me the ol "sorry dude, let me know if I can help" speech...that was 4 months ago. Number of people who have called to check on me? 1. How many times? 1. It's probably not that they don't care, they themselve have no friggin clue how to approach a situation like this. Like minded people here are finding a place to get help and to help. I would hope people leave here with more than they expected, and more than they hoped for. I know I am thankful for each and every person here, and to the genius who created this board, whom I would most certainly be lost (because I freaked out a little bit last night when it was down, and I know I'm not the only one).

 

I see everyday what you are talking about Mikey--

men internalize, don't communicate in depth with each other. Mention HUGE issues like divorce offhandedly, as in, oh, by the way, I'm getting divorced now."

Response: "Oh, sorry dude"

End of subject, dropped.

 

There's a reason for women to be on this forum.

You wouldn't believe (or maybe you would)--with 2 sisters that I have--I won't discuss things in depth with them.

Younger one--extremely religious. Everything has to be wrapped around to WWJD? She's getting better though.

Older one? Judgmental long never ending reprimands on how I should live my life according to her.

You can imagine I want very limited discussion with her.

Friends--some know a little, some know a lot.

Either way, who wants to burden their friends with sob stories.

Women have the opposite problem of men--friends who won't shut up about their problems, on and on and on.

This site is really best for both genders! Women for some reason haven't found it as often.

Part of my job entails working online. I suppose that makes me more of a surfer than others.