I'm so in love with a married man

[Fallen Angel]

It is nearly 1am UK time.

 

I can't sleep. I feel awful. Everything is just going round and round in my head.

 

I wish I could just flick an off switch and not feel anything. It is awful...I am not the kind to fall in love easily and I think there lies the problem. I've fallen in love and I can't just pull away.

 

Today was just awful. I live a ten minute drive away. What excuse can there be for not popping over to see me for an hour? I don't understand. It was clear from my texts I was missing him and he didn't come to me.

 

He is making his choice clear, you are just refusing to see it. ((hugs))

[fooled once]

Perhaps I missed something, but what promise? Did he promise he was leaving her? (From Fallen Angel's post)

 

Sorry. I haven't made much sense in my post...I'm writing in a bit of a state. I meant the pregnancy was a shock as he'd promised me they didn't sleep together.

 

In terms of what he has said to me. He's told me that one day he wants us to be together...live together and that he sees his future with me. He says he wouldn't be in the relationship if he didn't want me and that he wouldn't risk losing everything if he didn't want to be with me. He says he wouldn't have the relationship if he didn't want his life with me. He has said he wants to spend the rest of his life with me. This is why this all hurts so much. I love him.

 

Thank you for the replies. I know you will all think I'm a terrible person...but I promise I have never ever done this before and I wouldn't if I was not totally in love with him.

 

I am sorry, but I agree with everyone else. He is feeding you a bunch of crap. Soul mate? Please - he doesn't really KNOW YOU. You two don't date, you don't spend tons of time getting to know each other, you two work together and he sneaks around to see you.

 

He has no plans to leave his wife. He just loves the ego boost he is getting from a younger woman having the hots for him.

 

The saddest part is you have made him your ENTIRE life. That is pretty sad. You sit and wait and wait and wait to hear something from him. You are 29 years old - get out there and LIVE.

 

I would bet he really doesn't want kids with you. I hate to say that. IVF is a horrendous process and FYI - her age isn't the only indication for her needing IVF. She may have had infertility issues all her life OR he may have issues with his sperm. I hate when people start blaming age for IVF -- I have a dear friend who in her early 30's tried IVF which failed, but she did get pregnant naturally. For all you know, he is LYING about the IVF. You really don't know much except (a) he lies, (b) he isn't getting divorced, no matter how long you wait...because if he was, he wouldn't be doing IVF with her and I have a hard time believing he is going to leave his wife and young child (if they are successful in getting and staying pregnant). I mean, come on...how does that even make sense to you?

 

You have got to consider two things, very very seriously:

 

Most MM tell OW they no longer have sex with their wives.

 

Yours went so far as to say they were pregnant due to invitro ...as opposed to the normal course of fertilization drugs. Now...really, he expected you to believe that although they desperately wanted to have a child together...they did not want to actually touch each other to do this?

 

Most MM tell OW to wait because they are planning on leaving their wives.

 

Yours went to far as to you tell you to wait for him to leave...WHILE he was going thru great effort to make sure he and his wife continued their family. How long was he planning on having you wait? until the infant graduated from college?? Since his wife was not yet pregnant, wouldnt THEN have been a good time to leave??

 

So, think about those things. You were had. It happens. Dont beat yourself up...But DO see him in the light he stands in.

 

EXCELLENT post.

 

OP, I am not sure what you really want. Do you want us to tell you he is going to leave? I personally can't -- because his actions are not saying he is unhappy at home. And now he is feeling guilty ..... know why? Because he KNOWS what he is doing with you is wrong. He is not being honest, honorable or respectful of his wife.

 

Read this thread...

 

http://www.loveshack.org/forums/t220970/

 

I can promise you -- life will not end when this affair ends. Life will go on, if you allow yourself, you could have a great life. You are CHOOSING to stay in the drama and roller coaster of this affair. I get that you believe you love him, but he is already married. Tell him to look you up if he ever gets divorced. I find it ironic he wants you to wait....wait for what? You are putting your life on hold for a man who goes home each night and he and his wife discuss their loss, console each other, hold each other, cry to each other and discuss their plans going forward. He is showing you that you are not that important to him, that you are not his soul mate. His wife is more important and until you get that...and decide you want better...your life will stay this way.

 

Good luck

[candoit]

I believe my mm had true feelings for me but it was just difficult being an OW , i was just not cut out for that , after i found out he was married i broke it off several times but we would end up getting back togather , he would not let me go , he even cried when i talked about ending it , finally i couldn't take it anymore of how he was cake eating and i emailed his wife , it was after that our affair completly ended ...read my posts

[Susmay]

Why not test him by opening a discussion on how you would like to start right away on getting pregnant? I'm not suggesting you do it rather just have a convo with him about it.

 

If he appears to like the idea, then go home with him to break it to his wife. Tell him he has to do this to prove his sincerity to you. If he balks at either idea you have your answer.

 

If you don't tell him your boundaries he has nothing to respect.

[llamafarmer]

Hello again,

 

Thank you for all the comments since I last logged on.

 

fooled once: I read the link....the no contact idea would be very difficult for me right now for two main reasons.

 

The first is that I am so deeply in love with him. The second is that we work together. I couldn't have no contact even if I wanted to. The only way to have no contact is for me to leave my job. The way I feel about my job it wouldn't be a great loss. As I've explained, I'm tied to may job until July 1st.

 

The thought of not seeing him makes me sick inside. You only have to read my post yesterday to see that.

 

I didn't mean to cause offence with the IVF comment. It is due to issues with his wifes fertility that they are having IVF...I didn't mean age was the reason they were on IVF. My Mum was 38 when she had my brother. I know some people can get pregnant in their 40's. I know the chances of success on IVF do drop the older you get though. I also know that no two cases are the same. I hope this clears up my comment.

 

fooled once: you are obviously a very strong person. Did you work with the person you were involved with? How did you cope with NC?

Edited April 8, 2010 by llamafarmer
my rubbish typing as usual

[Pink_orchid]

Llamafarmer, I am sorry for what you're going through, you're not alone, I have had weeks of tears and feeling horrible. My MM wanted to stop things and now we're not in contact. This ending, after he contacted me every single day, couldn't wait to talk to me, pursued me, did nice things for me for a long time, etc etc... common story... it's left me feeling raw like you. But they haven't got the bottle to get out of the marriage. Duty, money, family pressure, kids, all sorts of reasons. Even if they really really like you which yours clearly does (and mine).

 

Your situation is pretty hopeless I would say, I'm sorry. A man planning to have a baby with his wife is NOT planning to end their relationship. Surely you can see that?

 

He's planning a future with her and their baby. He sounds like he doesn't want to hurt you, maybe he didn't mean either of you to get so involved. Sounds like the classic bit of fun on the side which became more serious. He wasn't looking for another relationship, just a release from the pressure at home, now he has you expecting more and he doesn't know what to tell you.

 

I would back off and tell him it's over. Tell him if he really wants to be with you, you're not waiting any longer, and either he gets out of that relationship with her, or you aren't going to be around. It's likely I am afraid that he will stay where he is. I mean they're trying for a baby! All the excuses under the sun about why he wants her to have a child, they're just excuses, HE wants to have a child with her or he wouldn't even be there, let alone trying to get her pregnant, whether by IVF or whatever, he'll be the Dad. Get out while you can.

 

It doesn't mean it's over forever with you two, but it probably does sadly, however if he wants you badly enough he'll come after you.

 

Some friends of mine who are now married actually first met when the guy was married to someone else. They had an affair and then he ended it, went back to his wife, wife became pregnant, but he did leave his wife before the baby was born, to be with his real love. But only when she had moved on and was just about to take a job abroad. In other words when he thought he had lost her, he did something. So it does happen, but nothing will happen while you're in this situation, except more pain for you.

 

Do you want to be around when his wife gets pregnant again and has the baby?? I really can't believe that you are still hoping that this man is going to leave, when they are trying for a baby. Your common sense would normally tell you BIG RED FLAG!! Your judgement is seriously clouded because of your feelings for this man (don't worry we've all been there...).

 

Best wishes whatever you decide to do. I hope you find the strength to end it, it's the best thing, this situation has to stop. There's loads on here to support you.

[secretlifeofjane28]

ll-

 

Your story sounds like every other story of an A. I was involved in one last year and I am at day 70 NC today. He is a cake eater. If you were his soul mate, he'd move mountains to be with you... not trying to have a child with another woman. How long are you willing to wait in limbo for "some day." How much of your self worth and dignity are you willing to throw away? When will enough be enough? I too wanted to believe that my A was different- that we were meant to be- the hard and honest truth is that my xap and I used each other to meet an unmet need. We were both selfish. I too thought that I was in love with him- it's the fog of the affair honey. It's the addiction to the highs you receive from him... but take an honest look at it. Are you getting what you need from him? Sounds like he is stringing you along... and if it sounds like it, it's probably true. ACtions speak louder than words, honey. He is NOT going to leave his wife, few men involved in A's do.

 

Thinks about this.

 

When is enough, “Enough” ?

Enough being only an option to all of his priorities.

Enough talk with no actions ever taken.

Enough of the superficial conversation and fake interest in your world.

Enough listening to him wax about how bad his marriage is yet he stays put.

Enough being his sounding board because he “claims” he isn’t appreciated at home.

Enough looking the other way from the things that make you uncomfortable.

Enough throwing your integrity down the toilet.

Enough of feeding his big fat ego

Enough of letting him have his cake and eating it too

Enough of giving your love to someone that really doesn’t care about you or love you, just pretends he does

Enough of letting the ball be totally in his court, meaning it is on his terms when he will be able to see you or call you and you being a jerk and waiting for that phone to ring.

Enough of falling for all his lies and stories of being so miserable at home. He is perfectly fine at home and liked things just the way they were with being able to have you on the side, when it suited him.

Enough of being his dirty little secret.

Enough of wasting your time in a dead end situation that is never going to change for the better.

Enough of having to deal with the constant anxious feelings and that constant longing for someone that will never be yours, but will be happy to feed your head with all the right words to keep stringing you along.

Enough of living a lie.

Enough of making him a priority (when you are his option).

Enough of obsessing over every word and analyzing every conversation when he can’t take the time to respond to one lousy email.

Enough of accepting the fact that he is “busier” than you.

Enough of pretending your feelings aren’t all wrapped up in this.

Enough of hoping his feelings are as wrapped up in this as yours.

Enough of checking email, texts, looking at the clock, wondering where he is/what he is doing, waiting for him to “sign on”….

Enough wasting my time on someone who is emotionally unavailable.

Enough of letting his actions dictate my choices.

Enough passiveness….I’m in charge of my life…I get to choose!!!

Enough of engaging in emotional suicide.

Enough living 1/2 a life while he lives a life and a 1/2.

Enough eating crumbs when I can have a full course meal.

Enough disrespecting myself.

Enough of his renting free space in my head.

Enough being weak and selfish.

Enough hurting innocent people that love and trust me.

Enough being a person I never EVER thought I would be.

Enough being the complete opposite of a whole person.

Meaning, enough defining my life according to a single aspect of unreality.

 

At the end of the day, you go home alone and pine away for him... he goes home to his wife. Cut your losses and get out now before you lose yourself completely. I guarantee, that once you block and walk, the fog will begin to lift and you will start to see this situation without the rose colored glasses.

[llamafarmer]

Hi,

 

We met again today....It didn't go well. I asked him if he wants me and he wouldn't answer....just said "Well, I'm here now aren't I?"

 

I said I needed to know....I asked again. He lost it with me and shouted....not done that before. He said "I've lost my boy or girl and you are making me feel ill". He said "you are asking me to say things all the time".

 

I apologised.....but it has left me feeling raw. He said earlier in the day "my life is terrible"....and I asked him did he believe in us...he said he does...but you can see this is pulling me apart.

 

He won't hold me....he won't touch me....why does he keep seeing me? I just don't know what to do any more.

[skywriter]

He won't hold me....he won't touch me....why does he keep seeing me? I just don't know what to do any more.

If he is like the majority of MM , the reason why he is getting angry with you is because you are now expecting more of a "normal relationship" from him.

 

He doesn't want a "normal relationship" with his OW. He wants you to be his secret, his fantasy. His lady in waiting, that doesn't pressure him with the everyday mundane things in life. He already has that at home.

 

So, you will have to either be a willing participant, or walk away, and let it go.

[bittersweet memories]

Hi,

 

We met again today....It didn't go well. I asked him if he wants me and he wouldn't answer....just said "Well, I'm here now aren't I?"

 

I said I needed to know....I asked again. He lost it with me and shouted....not done that before. He said "I've lost my boy or girl and you are making me feel ill". He said "you are asking me to say things all the time".

 

I apologised.....but it has left me feeling raw. He said earlier in the day "my life is terrible"....and I asked him did he believe in us...he said he does...but you can see this is pulling me apart.

 

He won't hold me....he won't touch me....why does he keep seeing me? I just don't know what to do any more.

 

He keeps seeing you because you allow him too...walk away and leave him alone for good and lets see what he does.

[whichwayisup]

Hi,

 

We met again today....It didn't go well. I asked him if he wants me and he wouldn't answer....just said "Well, I'm here now aren't I?"

 

I said I needed to know....I asked again. He lost it with me and shouted....not done that before. He said "I've lost my boy or girl and you are making me feel ill". He said "you are asking me to say things all the time".

 

I apologised.....but it has left me feeling raw. He said earlier in the day "my life is terrible"....and I asked him did he believe in us...he said he does...but you can see this is pulling me apart.

 

He won't hold me....he won't touch me....why does he keep seeing me? I just don't know what to do any more.

 

You want love, romance, feelings revealed, talks, committment from him.. He wants sex, excitement, someone to listen to him on his terms. You care and love him deeply, want a real relationship with him.. He wants fun, sex and non committed fun. He doesn't want to be romantic, hold hands, gaze into your eyes, talk about intimate feelings.

 

STOP...Just stop!

 

You are the OW, that's it. His words, his actions, his behaviour IS telling you this. IF you want him in your life (aka settling) then do as he asks of you. Keep pushing yourself on him on this level, he'll resent you more and eventually turn into an a-hole.

 

Your emotions and heart want him to put you first, that isn't going to happen.

 

Please, wake up! Gain strength and end it with him. Suffer through your job until July then find another job.

 

The thought of not seeing him makes me sick inside. You only have to read my post yesterday to see that.

 

Without sounding too harsh, imagine what his wife would be feeling if she found out about the A. They have a history together, a life built, and they share everything. Yes, his behaviour is crappy and he's cheating on her, but he goes home to her, sleeps in their bed..

 

You cannot compete with what he has at home, so the choice is yours. Continue to be second fiddle, take table scraps when he offers it to you, or just deal this head on and end it. Let yourself grieve.. Noone 'dies' of pain and heartache, especially since you haven't invested that much time into him. Yeah it'll hurt, but you WILL get over it.

[PhillySpecial]

Hearing this story really breaks my heart and I agree with the overall sentiment of the posters so far. Some advice my mother once gave me is when it comes to men, don't listen to what they say, watch what they do. Think about that for a moment, what if you forgot every sweet nothing he ever whispered in your ear, every "I love you" and just focused on his actions? Would you believe he loved you then and was really going to leave his wife? He's trying to have a child with her, he's devastated that he lost that child. He feels guilty about his relationship with you and is acting distant. He's making no plans or movements whatsoever toward leaving her and ending his marriage.

 

You're lucky, you're only 29 years old. You can get out of this and look for a single man to love and spend your life with. Don't waste your youth or your time on false hopes and dreams. I know it's easier said than done because I've been there, but he will never leave his wife, ever. Leave him alone and move on, not as some ploy to turn the tables and win him back, because believe me as soon as you break things off and take back control he will come running. End things for the sake of your own personal sanity and the love you have for yourself.

 

This time will be very painful for you but there is a light at the end of the tunnel. I was involved with a married person, cut if off, and took back control over my life. That person is still married and still calls my phone til this day, still hopin and wishin and prayin...lol. And that was 5 years ago! Just think one day you'll be able to laugh at this fool and I guarantee you you'll chuckle and think to yourself "What was I thinking?"

[Fallen Angel]

I wish I could help you llamafarmer, I really, really do!!! But you are not here looking for help. You are here wanting someone, anyone to tell you that this man truly loves you, and to give you reason to hope.

 

I can not do that for you. I have to be able to face myself in the mirror in the morning. I am sorry for you.

 

When you are ready to hear what people are saying, you will be back.

 

Until then, good luck to you.

 

(((hugs)))

[whichwayisup]

But you are not here looking for help. You are here wanting someone, anyone to tell you that this man truly loves you, and to give you reason to hope.

 

I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, she has to hit her rock bottom and go through more pain, heartache before she sees what's going on around her. The blinders are on, she's inlove and this guy can crap on her with a smile on his face and she's OK with it. Because she loves him and he can do no wrong her in eyes.

[PhillySpecial]

I completely agree with you. Unfortunately, she has to hit her rock bottom and go through more pain, heartache before she sees what's going on around her. The blinders are on, she's inlove and this guy can crap on her with a smile on his face and she's OK with it. Because she loves him and he can do no wrong her in eyes.

 

That's very true. One day he'll do or say something that will trigger her and she'll finally say "I've had enough". But who knows when that will be, everyone has their own tolerance level when it comes to being in an unhealthy relationship and everyone has their own limit. Again I just hope she lets him go while she's still young and beautiful, it would be such a shame to allow him to rob her of her best years.

[CollectiveVelvet]

It sounds very much to me like this MM is done with the affair for whatever reasons and is trying his best to ease his way out of the affair in a way that will leave the OP feeling her own fault so that she will keep her mouth shut to his W.

[llamafarmer]

I knew this was a bad idea....

 

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for...I'm not looking for anyone to approve of my actions. As regards rock bottom....would you say not being able to eat or sleep is rock bottom? I was a size 12 (UK sizes) and am now a size 8. I cry daily. I cry because I feel my world has come crashing down...I thought I'd actually found my soulmate...someone who would love me for life.

 

Is is wrong to fall in love and for the first time ever actually really feel in love and want to believe everything will work out? It is clear from the comments that I am a fool....but how do I stop being a fool? How do you stop caring? How do you stop loving someone so so much? No-one has ever come close before. It is not the idea of the nature of the relationship.....it is that we really really do click when we are together....we click in a way that I've never done with anyone.

 

It is like we've known each other all our lives. I've never ever had anything close with anyone. I don't enjoy the nature of our relationship and wish I could tell the world he is mine and only mine. I'm desperate for him to meet my friends and family and to be part of my life. It kills me.

 

Is there anyone who can tell me how you do this NC thing? How on earth do you block out your feelings? Will someone please explain?

[bentnotbroken]

You said it yourself....you're desperate.

[llamafarmer]

You said it yourself....you're desperate.

 

Not true in that I've always had relationships/boyfriends etc. I'm really not desperate in that sense. I don't want anyone else though. I am very much in love and people are talking about NC...but I'd like to know how people do it/cope? How exactly do you stop loving someone?

Edited April 9, 2010 by llamafarmer
my typing

[PhillySpecial]

I knew this was a bad idea....

 

I'm not sure exactly what I'm looking for...I'm not looking for anyone to approve of my actions. As regards rock bottom....would you say not being able to eat or sleep is rock bottom? I was a size 12 (UK sizes) and am now a size 8. I cry daily. I cry because I feel my world has come crashing down...I thought I'd actually found my soulmate...someone who would love me for life.

 

Is is wrong to fall in love and for the first time ever actually really feel in love and want to believe everything will work out? It is clear from the comments that I am a fool....but how do I stop being a fool? How do you stop caring? How do you stop loving someone so so much? No-one has ever come close before. It is not the idea of the nature of the relationship.....it is that we really really do click when we are together....we click in a way that I've never done with anyone.

 

It is like we've known each other all our lives. I've never ever had anything close with anyone. I don't enjoy the nature of our relationship and wish I could tell the world he is mine and only mine. I'm desperate for him to meet my friends and family and to be part of my life. It kills me.

 

Is there anyone who can tell me how you do this NC thing? How on earth do you block out your feelings? Will someone please explain?

 

No, you're not at rock bottom because you haven't had enough yet. You still believe there is hope for this relationship. What people are trying to tell you is that there is no hope for your relationship. And at this point, you need to recognize that your judgement is off because currently you're consumed by your emotions and aren't thinking clearly. If you had a girlfriend or sister in this position, would you counsel her to stay with the married man or get out? You're suffering and state you can't eat or sleep, do you think that's love? Love doesn't hurt.

 

What you should do is get some counseling to get through your pain and suffering. If you belong to a church, seek spiritual guidance. Surround yourself with family and friends and don't be ashamed to tell them what you're going through and that you need to lean on them right now.

 

No contact means no contact. It's that simple. It's the only way you'll be able to heal and move on.

 

Not true in that I've always had relationships/boyfiends etc. I'm really not desperate in that sense. I am very much in love and people are talking about NC...but I'd like to know how people do it/cope? How exactly do you stop loving someone?

 

What's love got to do with it? Although you love him, you need to love yourself more. When it gets to the point where you can't function because of how he's treating you, you've reached a point where in order to love him, you're not loving yourself. Why don't you think your worthy to have better?

[norajane]

Is there anyone who can tell me how you do this NC thing? How on earth do you block out your feelings? Will someone please explain?

 

You have to actually accept that you feel like crap and the reason you feel like crap is because of 1) your choices, and 2) the MM's choices. You have to own it and realize that you got yourself into this, so you can get yourself out of it. You are not powerless. Unless you cannot prevent yourself from leaping in front of speeding cars, then you have an active self-preservation instinct. You DO have control over your actions. Don't just wail and say you cannot get out of this - you have control over yourself. You are not a child, you are not handcuffed to him, you are not mentally incapacitated - you have control over yourself. You are just choosing NOT to do the hard thing. You have to choose to exercise that control over your actions.

 

You have to start looking at MM in a different light. You think of him as the most awsomest bestest thing ever. Truly, he is not. He is a man who has been lying to and cheating on his wife while they've been trying to get pregnant and during their pregnancy and even now after the miscarriage. If you can't see from those actions that he is a selfish, cold man, than look at what he has done to you. He is content to f*ck around with you, while going home to his wife to make a baby and start a family. He has been looking out only for himself. Until you actually accept this fact, you will have a much harder time letting him go. Get him OFF that pedestal you have put him on. He is not curing cancer, feeding the poor and working toward world peace while caring for his ailing grandmother! He is a selfish pig who has been sneaking around behind his wife's back to screw another woman, and he's been screwing you over with words of love while he makes a baby with his wife. In short, he is a prick. Start seeing that about him!

 

You have to recognize that your relationship with this man has turned you into the kind of woman who is pining for a prick who cheats on his pregnant wife. Is that who you want to be? No? Choose not to be that woman. Look in the mirror and ask yourself if this is who you want to be.

 

If you cannot completely cut off contact because of work, then stop meeting him for private little chats. If the most recent chat was any example, he will soon seek you out less often because you are no longer feeding his ego but are making demands. In any case, stop calling him, stop meeting him, delete his emails, block him from calling your cell phone. Do not answer his calls, do not answer his voice mails. He should be contacting you only for work purposes, and you should do the same. You have to commit to this course of action.

 

Time and distance away from him without contact is what will ease your heartache. Every time you have contact with him, you have new things to think about and you go right back to square 1 with your healing. So stop seeing him.

Edited April 9, 2010 by norajane

[whichwayisup]

Today was just awful. I live a ten minute drive away. What excuse can there be for not popping over to see me for an hour? I don't understand. It was clear from my texts I was missing him and he didn't come to me.

He hasn't made you a priority. He didn't come see you because he didn't want to..Or he was busy.. Either way, does it matter his reasons? You've put him first, made him your everything. He's married and has a life already, so you putting expectations on him WILL disappoint you..Over and over again.

 

You've lost weight, you're unhappy, stressed out, on the up and down rollercoaster ride ... Yet, you love him and "think" he *may* someday leave his wife for you. It's not going to happen. I'd bet my life on it. Yet your heart is allowing you to not see what is going on. You can't be objective.

 

Married men who plan on divorcing their wives don't play these games, nor do they treat their Ow like shi.t. They divorce as fast as possible and are fair. They DO what they say..

[bentnotbroken]

Not true in that I've always had relationships/boyfriends etc. I'm really not desperate in that sense. I don't want anyone else though. I am very much in love and people are talking about NC...but I'd like to know how people do it/cope? How exactly do you stop loving someone?

 

 

Who said anything about not having relationships? You are desperate to have him in your life and you are desperate to be in his. You are desperate to have him meet your family. The deal is....He isn't desperate for any of it.

[whichwayisup]

Is there anyone who can tell me how you do this NC thing? How on earth do you block out your feelings? Will someone please explain?

 

You get help. Seek therapy, and do everything you can to make yourself get over him.

 

He isn't yours, never was..Emotionally you feel tied to him. He has NO obligation to you and his actions show you this daily. The way he's treated you, been rude, disrespectful. Christ, doesn't that PISS YOU OFF? Aren't you ANGRY at him? Pissed at yourself for allowing this to continue? HE is treating you this way because you let him.

[PhillySpecial]

You have to start looking at MM in a different light. You think of him as the most awsomest bestest thing ever. Truly, he is not. He is a man who has been lying to and cheating on his wife while they've been trying to get pregnant and during their pregnancy and even now after the miscarriage. If you can't see from those actions that he is a selfish, cold man, than look at what he has done to you. He is content to f*ck around with you, while going home to his wife to make a baby and start a family. He has been looking out only for himself. Until you actually accept this fact, you will have a much harder time letting him go. Get him OFF that pedestal you have put him on. He is not curing cancer, feeding the poor and working toward world peace while caring for his ailing grandmother! He is a selfish pig who has been sneaking around behind his wife's back to screw another woman, and he's been screwing you over with words of love while he makes a baby with his wife. In short, he is a prick. Start seeing that about him!

 

You hit the nail on the head with this one. When I started to see the MM I was involved with for what he really was, EVERYTHING changed. It was like someone took the blinders off and my world became clear. It's not fun to realize the truth because that means you were comepletely wrong about the person you were with, however its an essential part of moving on.