mikeymad Posted April 6, 2010 Share Posted April 6, 2010 It seems as if the people having a continuous conscious stream of thought are able to get through this seemingly better, so I will submit to the process. You can see my other threads here http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=13278890 I have mostly hung out in the separation/divorce group, but the more opinions (and a set of fresh ones) the better Basically, W and I together 4 years, marry. I leave for 6 months for internship, come back to us having more problems than when I left. Separate diff rooms 1 week before 1 year anniversary. Find out she cheated on me while i was gone 1 month later. She asks for D and I move out Dec 5 09. In the middle of D proceedings right now, and supposed to have final paperwork signed by 20th this month. I am willing to work on things, in fact I'm willing to forgive her, but she thinks "things will never change" and she "doesnt' have any more to give"....basic WAS talk. I am really in a bad spot. I have tried almost everything under the sun to get her back. She is completely NC from me right now, which is utterly painful. Her brother and BIL were really good friends of mine (BIL was my college roommate), but they have circled the wagons and no one speaks to me. I want to do the honorable thing and fight for this, but at the same time it's taking a toll on me. I've begged, pleaded, wrote letters, called etc. I've filled my time with activities, tried the "dating sites" and had a few prospects but chickened out and cancelled, therapy, divorce care class, books, tapes, videos, etc. I've worked on myself thousands of times over. Yet I can't let her go, and I don't want to. Some will say it's pathetic, some will say I'm doing it to myself. Some will say I'm giving her all the power over me. It feels horrible to have all these revalations, and for it to fall on deaf ears. I so much want to show up on her doorstep, or during her lunchbreak and tell her what's going on... Does anyone else ever feel this way, or have I elevated myself to an elite status of one-who-hangs-on? Link to post Share on other sites
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