Help

[Joek]

I've been a pretty lonely guy for most of my life, meaning I haven't dated much - only as a young one - and never had any serious relationship. I'm not good when it comes to women. I have friends who are women, and the problem I have is I fall for any girl too easily and I just end up in a depressed state. The problem is, these women are already taken and we're just friends.

 

A girl that I work with and I became really good friends, talk a lot and stuff and she's just a very sweet, very nice, and just fun to be around and to talk to. I'm trying to stop myself but then again, I see myself falling for her and I get depressed because I know she's taken. It happens all the time, I always fall for women so easily. How do I overcome this.

[Java]

Have you ever asked yourself WHY you have a pattern of choosing unavailable women to fall for?. What would happen if you were to choose someone who was single and available to fall for?.

 

It's less riskier to fall for unavailable women, right?. There's no real risk they can reject, abandon or betray you. Or you them, perhaps?. They do reject and abandon you anyway by way of being unavailable in the first place, but it's not like the pain you would feel if they were yours in the first place. It's a safe option, yeah?.

 

You have a fear of intimacy/commitment. It's not going to change unless you get some counselling and work through these issues... and get to the point where you can start risking your heart on someone who is free to also risk theirs on you.

[juicybb]

Java has a point. You may be afraid to commit, thus you are attracted to those who are not available. Perhaps you are only attracted to the chase, and not really her?

 

On the other hand, I feel like you are unsure of what you want from a girl. Everyone may have a potential, but you must focus on what YOU want. You shouldn't fall for someone too easily. She may be nice to you because of the fact that she is just plain nice, unless she tells you otherwise.