What should I do

[Zuma]

I have been seeing this girl since the end of November. We met in college and started to get real close in October. On Thanksgiving day we had sex for the first time. It was a little to soon we both agreed. AT the same time she had a boyfriend who was so mean to her. She was dating him for four years. She would always run to me whrn there was a problem. At the current time meaning now she told me that she absolutely loves me and I would be the one she wants to marry. It just seems like it is really difficult for her to fully break away from this guy. We have a boyfriend girlfriend relationship now. Our sex life is great. The one thing I don't understand is she wants it known to the girls I am friends with or who have hit on me that I am with her but when it comes to her friends I am like a secret. She won't even walk with me in the mall where this guy works in fear that someone that knows him will see us together. We spend nearly everyday together. There has been times that she told me that she wanted to stay in because she wasn't feeling well and I would call her later on and she would be out. On more than one Occasion I would see her car at his house. She is trying to break away but she tells me he is so persistant and won't leave her alone. She has a fear of standing up for her and I. It is really confusing and nowI have an extremely hard time trusting her. I want to but I have doubts when she wants to go out with her friends she always winds up running into him. Now I have started to become somewhat controlling in fear of getting hurt for the 10th time. She is my first love. I have had other serious realtionships before but I am really in love with her. We have everything in common. When we are together everthing is great!!! I just don't know what I should do. We have talked about it so many times, I have even cried on her shoulder then that same night she would be out fighting with that guy. It's almost like she will only hang out when she knows he will be working. We have hung out when he wasn't many times but I am really confused. Please helpme with some advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

[Lear]

I have been seeing this girl since the end of November. We met in college and started to get real close in October. On Thanksgiving day we had sex for the first time. It was a little to soon we both agreed. AT the same time she had a boyfriend who was so mean to her. She was dating him for four years. She would always run to me whrn there was a problem. At the current time meaning now she told me that she absolutely loves me and I would be the one she wants to marry. It just seems like it is really difficult for her to fully break away from this guy. We have a boyfriend girlfriend relationship now. Our sex life is great. The one thing I don't understand is she wants it known to the girls I am friends with or who have hit on me that I am with her but when it comes to her friends I am like a secret. She won't even walk with me in the mall where this guy works in fear that someone that knows him will see us together. We spend nearly everyday together. There has been times that she told me that she wanted to stay in because she wasn't feeling well and I would call her later on and she would be out. On more than one Occasion I would see her car at his house. She is trying to break away but she tells me he is so persistant and won't leave her alone. She has a fear of standing up for her and I. It is really confusing and nowI have an extremely hard time trusting her. I want to but I have doubts when she wants to go out with her friends she always winds up running into him. Now I have started to become somewhat controlling in fear of getting hurt for the 10th time. She is my first love. I have had other serious realtionships before but I am really in love with her. We have everything in common. When we are together everthing is great!!! I just don't know what I should do. We have talked about it so many times, I have even cried on her shoulder then that same night she would be out fighting with that guy. It's almost like she will only hang out when she knows he will be working. We have hung out when he wasn't many times but I am really confused. Please helpme with some advice it would be greatly appreciated. Thanks

 

 

Erm - sorry to be brutal, but if you don't trust her, and she is deceiving you, then maybe it is not so groovy as it seems when you're having sex together.

[kelee]

I think that a four year relationship is hard to just walk away from, even if the ex was abusive or mean. She might not love him anymore, but i'm sure that she still cares for him. You should give her more room, and when you do spend time with her let her know exactly how you feel about her and show her through your actions that you are the guy that she wants. I'm not saying that you haven't proved yourself to her yet, but a woman that has been hurt is a woman that dosen't forget. You might make it easier on her to open up and feel like she can move on without this ex. I feel sorry for you, because it will be a long tough road if this is what you really want.