football21 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Hi all, About 5 months ago my best friends ex friended me on facebook and we started talking and we really understood each other. I got some mixed messages from her but she finally told me that she liked me enough to go out with me but she was scared. She told me she was scared of me lying and since I'm going to college in a few months anyway, starting a relationship "wasn't worth it." Her ex lied to her all the time and its the main reason she broke up with him although there were plenty of them. I knew she trusted me, but I didnt know she trusted me so much. She used to send me pictures of her..i think you guys can figure out why. She made me promise not to show anyone else and I haven't shown nor do I plan to show anyone else. Last night she was working and I decided to see a movie with some friends, I had really wanted to see this movie with her but due to some circumstances I couldn't, so last week I saw it with my other friend. She was totally fine with that, but I thought if i told her I was going to see the same movie again she might not want to see it with me just because I'd seen it so many times (i dont know why i thought that) so when she asked me what movie we were gonna see i lied and told her a different movie. Later that night she eventually found out I lied about which movie I had seen from someones status on facebook. She hates people who lie more than anything else and even after I've apologized to her profusely the spark we had is gone now. I know she still cares about me because she told me she started crying when I was lying to her and she knew I was lying anyway. She also told me that she had never shown those pics of herself that she had to anyone but me, and when she said that I knew she trusted me a lot more and I blew it. She asked me to delete them which I did. We've talked for a while but even though she says she's not mad I know she is. Lying about something stupid as a movie I've seen is completely my fault and I don't know why I did it in the first place. I promised her that I would never lie again, but she told me she wouldn't believe me just because she's heard that so many times before and that for now, she just wanted to be friends, even though we were never officially going out. I know it was completely my fault that I lied even after she told me she was scared of me doing it. She's free from work in a couple hours and she told me if I want to talk to text her. I always make small talk, but I really want her to know that I'm sorry I hurt her and that I'll do anything no matter what to gain her trust back. Is there anything specifically I can say or do that will help me accomplish this? This is the first girl whos ever shown interest in me and I know i made a mistake by lying. Link to post Share on other sites
DreamerGirl27 Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Well the one thing she did right that I didn't, is that she told you she was mad and told you why she was mad. I didn't tell the guy I like I was mad when he lied to me because I felt like I had no right to be mad, due to the circumstances. I'm not his girlfriend and I felt like I would be being like a nagging one if I got mad at him for telling me he was going to a guy's night out thing when really he was bringing another girl. I know as friends, you should never lie to each other, either. But it was just...awkward. I found out from facebook that he lied, too. Similar situations we are in here. I wish like hell I would have publicly put on his profile something about it, too. But I didn't. I still feel awkward feeling mad about it, though. Just because of what he lied about. Why did he have to tell me it was a guy's night out if he was bringing another girl if he doesn't like me? We're not together and he's made it clear we're never going tobe, so why does it matter if he brings another girl? He flipping talks to me about other girls all the time, why use now to not tell me about a girl he's taking with him? Oy vey. Do I have a right to be mad? Link to post Share on other sites
Narf Posted April 8, 2010 Share Posted April 8, 2010 Hmm yeah you made a mistake... She made it extremely clear not to lie... and you lie about a movie, so thing so silly, if you can lie about that what other bigger ones are you doing... Is probably what she is thinking. Hmm my advice is actions are louder then words but you will need both. Trust is a easy thing to lose and are hard thing to gain back... I would hang in there be her friend (her feelings wont disappear straight away), ask her to hangout and talk to her, be open and dont lie again, i dont think it is a total lost cause but you have hurt the relationship Link to post Share on other sites
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