jealousy

[MONICA]

my boyfriend and i have each others access code for our cell phones. i don't think he listens to mine but sometimes i do listen to his. when ever i hear a feamle on their and she sounds too personal, but i know it's about business, i erase it. i get so jealous. i know it's only business but sometimes these women sound too personal. then i feel horrible for erasing it cause it could lose him some business, he does loans for houses. it's a good thing i don't do it too often or i'd be erasing alot of messages. my problem is the way i feel when i hear their voice, they sound like they'd be nice looking and sweet and very attractive. i get a hot flash when i hear them tho. am i beyond hope? monica

[Nina]

My advice is to stop listening to your boyfriend's cell phone messages. If you know you're hurting his business but can't control yourself, this is really teh only option. Besides, as long as there is no trust there is no real relationship. If you can't trust your boyfriend, or you won't, then you aren't ready to be involved in an adult relationship.

[Tony T]

Some of the most unattractive people in the world have sexy voices but they respect other people's privacy and don't erase their phone messages. I prefer those types.

[Taressa]

I understand your desire to be involved in his life and the threat that these unknown women may present to you. Sometimes we feel that way when a man keeps us in an isolated part of his life. If that is the case, talk with him and express your desire to know his friends and play a part in other areas of his life. Be careful to maintain some things you do separately so you don't become a one-dimensional codependent couple.

 

Realize right now that your insecurity is pushing you to do some unethical things and that is a problem. Telephone snooping is not going to keep a man faithful. Only a man's character can do that. Decide today if he is a man you can trust. If he is trustworthy he will deal with his female business contacts professionally. If he is not trustworthy he will bed someone regardless of the messages you erase.

 

Your parental snooping is going to devestate the relationship. Decide if it is your man's trustworthiness or your lack of trust that is at issue.

 

Of course you're not beyond hope. You've recognized a problem and have expressed the strength to change. Now is the time to work.

[magicklady]

That is definately not healthy for your relationship... If you don't trust your man then why are you with him? That is his phone and you should not go into his personal property. My ex did that to me and it really bothered me.. just don't check it anymore and you won't know what is going on.. while you are at it why don't you talk someone to try and get your self esteem straightened out. That is the only reason jealousy happens...

[Melissa]

I can understand how you can feel jealous...probobly because I get jealous of my boyfriend quite often too...Maybe it would help you if you confronted him? Like tell him that you worry about his faithfulness..and just build some trust for him. In the long run trust is the key to relationships, and thats exactly what you are lacking.