lattimershotgun Posted January 16, 2004 Share Posted January 16, 2004 me and my ex are talking again she contacted me recently, we orginally took space because i was getting clingy and also she had alot of medical **** going on plus she failed a classa dn her grandma died, jsut tons of stuff. so we planeed on taking a break she decided.. well durign teh break i was sitll clingy and we agured a coupel times i never did give her full space. well a coupel weeks went by adn now she called me and IMed me and seems happy and said she misses me. Thigns seem better but i dont know if when i was acting like an insecure jerk duringt eh beggginng of our space, if that ruined the idea of us getting back together. So i kinda want to send her this: any ideas if it is a good idea, keep in mind she seems happier i jsut dont know if she was able to forgive me for when i acted like a jerk for a while during the break. so i figured this woudl help waht do you think?: Babe I don’t want to bring up bad memories but there is something that I feel you should understand. Also, keep in mind that I wouldn’t bring this up but my actions during the month of December have made me feel the need to explain myself. The simple apology I gave you online the other day wasn’t really enough. Yes, during our little time together I was coming off of steroids, I was in a time of need and you stuck your handout and reached for me and helped me. You didn’t care if I took drugs or not and stuck with me anyways and put up with the impotency thing and many other emotional problems I had during that steroid recovery period. I also had a lot of free time, and my life wasn’t very busy. Your life on the other hand was busy and full of stuff to do and you still took time out to come stay with me and show love for me. I really do appreciate that, and loved that. At the time though I had plenty of free time and no friends around so I kind of got clingy to you at times. Towards the end and during the begining of the break I got even clingier. It is human nature to need space sometimes when things are down and such. When you needed time I kind of pushed in more to see what was wrong and I got insecure and clingy. A couple weeks ago I really decided this is not the person I originally was and needed to change back. I had become someone that I wasn’t originally, I lost my independence and became unfairly needy at times. I have been able to curve the anxiety with determination and will power, but if I cant do it myself I might get on some medication. Anti-anxiety stuff, and no I will make sure it is the one with the lowest rate of sexual side effects hahaahha. But so far so good, notice I haven’t flipped out in a while or whigged out for no reason? It is because I want to go back to how I was before the steroid **** and live a healthy fun life, and I want you as part of it. I was that guy that you thought was cute and funny and wore a black wife beater and looked like a gangsta. Hahaha that is me! I have a very emotional side I am not going to lie but I am not usually that clingy. I mean every “couple” calls each other once or maybe even a couple more times a day don’t get my wrong, but I did over call or over leave IM messages when you wouldn’t respond. And a host of other annoying behaviors… So I kind of figured you needed to see, where I am coming from. So if things are still as planned like before and you intend to retry with me after your stuff passes, I will prove to you I am back to normal and not so damn clingy. I have a busier semester probably equal to your time schedual, so I have free time to hangout and spend time just not ridiculous amounts of time to sit around and think or chit chat every day all day on the internet. I have changed for the better and see the error of my ways. Ttyl babe… Love, XXXX Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 16, 2004 Author Share Posted January 16, 2004 me and my ex are talking again she contacted me recently, we orginally took space because i was getting clingy and also she had alot of medical **** going on plus she failed a classa dn her grandma died, jsut tons of stuff. so we planeed on taking a break she decided.. well durign teh break i was sitll clingy and we agured a coupel times i never did give her full space. well a coupel weeks went by adn now she called me and IMed me and seems happy and said she misses me. Thigns seem better but i dont know if when i was acting like an insecure jerk duringt eh beggginng of our space, if that ruined the idea of us getting back together. So i kinda want to send her this: any ideas if it is a good idea, keep in mind she seems happier i jsut dont know if she was able to forgive me for when i acted like a jerk for a while during the break. so i figured this woudl help waht do you think?: Babe I don’t want to bring up bad memories but there is something that I feel you should understand. Also, keep in mind that I wouldn’t bring this up but my actions during the month of December have made me feel the need to explain myself. The simple apology I gave you online the other day wasn’t really enough. Yes, during our little time together I was coming off of steroids, I was in a time of need and you stuck your handout and reached for me and helped me. You didn’t care if I took drugs or not and stuck with me anyways and put up with the impotency thing and many other emotional problems I had during that steroid recovery period. I also had a lot of free time, and my life wasn’t very busy. Your life on the other hand was busy and full of stuff to do and you still took time out to come stay with me and show love for me. I really do appreciate that, and loved that. At the time though I had plenty of free time and no friends around so I kind of got clingy to you at times. Towards the end and during the begining of the break I got even clingier. It is human nature to need space sometimes when things are down and such. When you needed time I kind of pushed in more to see what was wrong and I got insecure and clingy. This letter is not about the little break time, this is about me changing. I know I wasn’t the only reason u needed a break so trust me I don’t have the wrong idea. I am just simply stating a fact that I want to change. And I am just informing you because you are important to me. So in a way I guess I needed that space too. A couple weeks ago I really decided this is not the person I originally was and needed to change back. I have been able to curve the anxiety with determination and will power, but if I can’t do it myself I might get on some medication. Anti-anxiety stuff, and no I will make sure it is the one with the lowest rate of sexual side effects hahaahha. But so far so good, notice I haven’t flipped out in a while or whigged out for no reason? It is because I want to go back to how I was before the steroid **** and live a healthy fun life, and I want you as part of it. Hell my friends even noticed I was kinda bugged out during the month of November and December, haah ask Ben. He commented a couple times on me acting different. So I needed to reevaluate myself and this was a good time to do it. I was that guy that you thought was cute and funny and wore a black wife beater and looked like a gangsta. Hahaha that is me! I have a very emotional side I am not going to lie but I am not usually that clingy. Don’t get me wrong the necklace and roses and Christmas stuff isn’t being clingy that’s just how I am. I mean every “couple” calls each other once or maybe even a couple more times a day don’t get my wrong, but I did over call or over leave IM messages when you wouldn’t respond. So I kind of figured you needed to see, where I am coming from. So if things are still as planned like before and you intend to retry a NEW relationship with me after your stuff passes, I will prove to you I am back to normal and not so damn clingy. I have a busier semester, so I have free time to hangout and spend time just not ridiculous amounts of time to sit around and think or chit chat every day all day on the internet. I have changed for the better and see the error of my ways. Ttyl babe… Love, XXXX Link to post Share on other sites
SoleMate Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 The letter's OK except for one (big) thing: It's all about YOU. Your needs, your feelings, your life, your problems. She may wonder if YOU are the #1 person on YOUR list. HINT: Who else would she like to see you display some interest in? Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 But in a way shouldn't dwell on me and her relationship if we are on break. I jsut am tryign to show her i relize my mistakes and want to change my ways. For her but also for myself becaus ei relize you cant change unless you cahnge for yourself and the right reasons and really i have only been funky for liek two months alot of it was the emotional side effects of getting off of steroids. If it werent for that i doubt i woudl have been as clingy and such. so what are some suggestoins to edit up the letter and make it more about her and lessa bout me wihtout changing the idea of the message? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by lattimershotgun so what are some suggestoins to edit up the letter and make it more about her and lessa bout me wihtout changing the idea of the message? If you can't answer that yourself, that's where the problem is. Your goal should be to value her, not to make her think she's valued. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 so you think i cant send a letter? TO show her i am gogin to change my ways and expalin my past actoins. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 I like it, except I think you should remove this: and no I will make sure it is the one with the lowest rate of sexual side effects hahaahha. Don't mention sex. I think you lay out very nicely that you found value in the break, and that you have realized the error in your ways, and are ready and capable of having a non-clingy relationship. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by lattimershotgun so you think i cant send a letter? TO show her i am gogin to change my ways and expalin my past actoins. My personal feelings are irrelevant. You can do whatever you want, but you aren't doing a good job of showing her you are changing, if you try to justify what you did. I think sending a letter is a bad idea. You should talk with her, it's harder to disregard. Link to post Share on other sites
clia Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 He can talk to her about it after she reads it. Maybe even give it to her while they are together. I like the idea of a letter because it allows him to lay everything out that he wants to say, word it exactly how he wants it worded, and not get side tracked as you often do in conversations such as this. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 I was just using the sex thing as a joke since we always joked around, i was just tryign to be light and funny but ic your point of removing it but i htink that is a godo idea to send a letter and then if she wants to talk aobut it i will explain more then. Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by clia I like the idea of a letter because it allows him to lay everything out that he wants to say, word it exactly how he wants it worded, and not get side tracked as you often do in conversations such as this. Fair enough, that's your opinion. I don't like the idea of a letter because it's impersonal, and often self-serving rather than informative. I've seen few examples of a girl taking a guy back on behalf of a letter, especially a letter that expresses the desire to change rather than evidence of the change itself. It seemed to me as if their problems could have worked out through communication (Him: I'm emotionally hurting because of drug abuse withdrawal, I need __ // Her: You are being too clingy, it is driving me away; instead I need _____// etc) In order to truly give evidence of a change, she should see that he can communicate. A letter, no matter how well-worded or succint, is not communication. A letter is one-way, and I don't think that it would help the situation. What he needs to do is first make it clear to himself what he wants to communicate, which is why writing the letter is good exercise, but personally address it with her, as she needs to hear him say he will change, and she needs to see evidence of the change. She needs to be able to talk to him about her concerns, and he needs to be able to address those concerns. This isn't a sweepstakes, he can't just send away for her love, and expect it to be driven to his door on superbowl sunday. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 I still havent seen her for over a month, so it has been a while since i have seen her in person and last time i brought that up she said she wants to wait till she is doen wiht her medical **** before she sees me. SO i figured i woudl send this letter and if she watns to i woudl talk to her about it if she has any questoins or comments... maek sense? thjis is revised Babe I don’t want to bring up bad memories but there is something that I feel I need to explain to you in a way. Also, keep in mind that I wouldn’t bring this up but my actions during the month of December have made me feel the need to explain myself. The simple apology I gave you online the other day, I feel wasn’t really enough. Yes, during our little time together I was coming off of steroids, I was in a time of need and you stuck your hand out and helped me. You didn’t care that I had taken steroids or not and you stuck with me anyways. You put up with the emotional problems I had during that recovery period. I also had a lot of free time, and my life wasn’t very busy. Your life on the other hand was busy and full of stuff to do and you still took time out to stay with me and show love for me, which I can’t express in words what it meant to me. I really do appreciate that. At the time though I had plenty of free time and no friends around so I kind of got attached to you at times. Towards the end of us and during the begining of the break I got even more attached. It is human nature to need space sometimes when things are down and such. When you needed time I kind of pushed in more to see what was wrong and I got insecure and scared I might loose something that I thought was going so well. I realize this was in my head and you didn’t deserve my actions. This letter is not about the little break time, this is about me changing. I know I wasn’t the only reason u needed a break so trust me I don’t have the wrong idea. I am just simply stating a fact that I want to change and change for the better that I feel will benefit us both in the end. I want you to know because you are important to me. So in a way I guess I needed that space too. A couple weeks ago I really decided this is not the person I originally was and needed to change back. I have been able to curve the anxiety with determination and will power. For awhile I thought I might have needed to get some medication but so far so good, notice I haven’t flipped out in a while or whigged out for no reason? It is because I want to go back to how I was before the steroid **** and live a healthy fun life, and I want you as part of it. Hell my friends even noticed I was kinda bugged out during the month of November and December, haah ask Ben or any of them for that matter. Ben commented a couple times on me acting different. So I needed to reevaluate myself and this was a good time to do it and having had what we did makes me want to even more. I was that guy that you thought was cute and funny and wore a black wife beater and looked like a gangsta. Hahaha that is me! I have a very emotional side I am not going to lie but I am not usually that clingy. Don’t get me wrong the necklace and roses and Christmas stuff isn’t being clingy that’s just how I am. I mean every “couple” calls each other once or maybe even a couple more times a day don’t get my wrong, but I did over call and over leave IM messages when you wouldn’t respond I was just worried for no reason and that was my own fault. I kind of figured you needed to see, where I am coming from. So if things are still as planned like before and you intend to retry a NEW relationship with me after your stuff passes, I will prove to you I am back to normal and not so damn clingy. I have a busier semester, so I have free time to hangout and spend time just not ridiculous amounts of time to sit around and think or chit chat every day all day on the internet. I have changed for the better and have seen the errors of my ways. Ttyl babe… Love, xxxx Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 Well i havent seen her in a while beaue we artgued adn i got ****ty during our break at first. so i mean this seems to be the only way to expalin to her, i mean i coudl call her and tell her this. does that soudn liek a better idea? Link to post Share on other sites
dyermaker Posted January 17, 2004 Share Posted January 17, 2004 Originally posted by lattimershotgun i mean i coudl call her and tell her this. does that soudn liek a better idea? Yes. There needs to be communication. I'd reccomend doing it face to face. Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 one problem is i dont think she wants to meet face to face i guess i could try to ask her but i mean i still want ot respect her wish for space and not go see her so i kinda gotta tell her over the phone or send her this letter. those arew the only ways.. like i said before me and her are getting along and she said she misses me but we dont talk liek every day or anyting, it isnt like when we were dating. we are still on break and i am worreid i ****ed it up back when i was clingy during the beggning of the break. i jsut want to communicate with her as well in person i htink she woudl really understand waht i ahve to say in person. but i may not be able to Link to post Share on other sites
Author lattimershotgun Posted January 17, 2004 Author Share Posted January 17, 2004 ? Link to post Share on other sites
Recommended Posts