what does he want??? Ill start at the beginning....

[halfwaygone]

So on facebook i got back in touch with a guy i went to school with. When we were 14 we were 'boyfriend and girlfriend' for like a few weeks at most. It was just silly high school stuff, but i did really like him.

 

 

Anyway so we are now 26 so it's been a while and last month he said 'Hey' to me on facebook and immediately was interested in catching up.

 

I had recently had my heart broken and was very caught up in that, but after numerous texts over a 2 weeks i decided to have a couple of drinks with him at my place, he lives nearby.

 

He gave me a hug when he arrived and then we sat out on the deck and had a few quiet drinks while chatting. I thought he looked great and to be honest was sure he was out of my league and didn't think past this one night catching up.

 

He pulled his seat to my side of the table and then when we went to watch a movie he wanted to sit together on the couch. I'd had a couple of wines and was feeling relaxed. He put his arm around me and we kinda cuddled a little and at one point when i sat forward to get my glass of water he kinda rubbed the middle of my back a bit.

 

I didn't really respond, i was in no state to sleep with anyone after my heart break and honestly my self esteem was a little low so i was happy to not do anything. He also had had some sort of heartbreak recently too, we had chatted about it out on the deck.

 

So anyway he left not long after the movie, he gave me a cuddle out the front, just a little one. I was a little unsure what he wanted. lol

 

 

He text me the next day to ask me how i was after my bottle of wine...

 

 

He then text again and asked what my plans were for the weekend. I said i might be going out for some drinks and a dance. It turned out that were were going to wither meet up or go together or maybe just watch a movie. No set plans, but i really needed a night out and wasn't fussed about him coming along. i was meant to text him after work to let him know the plan.

 

Remember at this stage i still had the ex on my mind and honestly thought this guy is too good for me, i am not even bothering.

I ended up going out alone (meeting some GF's at the bar) and i didn't contact him.... ... i know, pretty rude. But i was a mess over the ex and knew that if i had gone out with him he would probably want something to happen and i just wasn't up for it. I did text him at 3AM to tell him id gone out and was sorry...

 

the next day i got a short response and he didn't seem to happy. (fair enough)

 

So i thought, well thats the end of that!!!

 

 

Then a few days later he text to ask how i was. I apologized about the other night and he said it was fine. He later text again and said that he thought i was cute and that he really had wanted to see me again.

 

I was surprised and said ' you are great looking and are doing well, you surely have plenty of gorgeous girls you could be with'. He fobbed it off and maintained he wanted to see me again. when i told him i had not a lot to give right now due to my broken heart, he said he understood, but that he didn't know if it would be a relationship and that he didn't think i'd want one either.

 

And he has made the odd joke about booty calls, but he aslo asks me if i got home safe, or if i am feeling better after being unwell.

 

So since then he texts pretty much daily. He is on night shift at the mines this week and we have been texting all night long. some of it is silly sexual stuff, but he also says he got a good vibe from me when we caught up that night and that he was really excited to see me again.

 

I don't know what to think.... i honestly can not do a FWB. I don't want to be used as a play thing. what does he want??

 

He is texting everyday, calls me tiger, kitty cat, sweet, cute, sweetheart...

 

is he buttering me up....i am not easy, so would he bother if he just wanted sex?? I could see myself really liking him and so therefore will not pursue anything if he just wants sex, but i can't ask him if he wants a relationship while we are still getting to know each other again.. not sure if i want that now anyway...

[WTRanger]

First off, you need to know what you want before you unintentionally (or intentionally) lead this poor guy on. It's not about what he wants, it

s about what YOU want. You have zero clue what you want. You say you may like him, then counter act yourself by saying he's too good for you and that you think he'd never go for you despite the fact that his actions are proving he's into you. Then you blow his plans off with some BS excuse that you've told yourself is a valid reason. You say you don't want him to be sexually pursuant with you at this point, yet you engage in sexually themed texting. You don't want to push this further, yet you let him cuddle with you while watching a movie. You couldn't get any more mixed signals if you crossed my TV, phone and internet lines. It's almost as if you are trying to convince yourself that you are unworthy of another person's love. You try to pass his actions off as he's just looking for cheap sex, as if God forbid he might be into you as a genuine person.

 

So what is it? If you just want attention and affection, get a dog. If you want to pursue something more with him, yet are still too hurt from the past break-up then you need to back away from him until you are ready to start something serious. If you keep doing what you are doing and you are allowing him to do, then this whole situation has flaming train wreck written all over it.

[halfwaygone]

Yes you're right. I do not want to lead him on and i need to figure this out quick smart

 

 

Keep in mind though that he has also given me mixed signals and due to the relationship i had prior to this that ended i am now very wary of what men say to me.

 

I guess it's not that i think he is too good for me, i honestly just thought that he would not be interested and was honestly surprised when he sent me the text that said that he thought i was cute and had really wanted to see me again.

 

Our texts can be a little flirty, but i figured it is because we are familiar with each other and therefore comfortable to some extent.

 

 

I guess i am tempted to see where this could go, because is he a great guy and we are definitely attracted to each other, but i am acting twisted because he has used the words Booty call (i think he was joking but would probably do it if i called him late at night) and because his texts can get slightly heated i do wonder if he just wants to get laid.

 

He has called me cute and cutey and always puts a xo at the end of a goodnight text.

 

so can you see why i am slightly confused???

 

i think i have learnt something recently about myself and that is that i am a relationship girl. So i do step back and forward with him a little because i don't want to be used or get hurt.

[halfwaygone]

So we went out for dinner on Thursday night, it was amazing. We had the same meal and both agreed it is our new favourite meal. lol

 

It was good atmosphere, some great 80's music playing, conversation went well. All great

 

Grabbed a movie on the way home and snuggled up to watch it with some drinks as well. He mentioned that we should take his dog down the beach for a walk sometime and eventually he moved in for a kiss but it was definitely time.

 

We ended up sleeping together (I know i know!!) but it was good and sweet and he stayed the whole night. In the morning he cuddled me heaps and said 'i think i'm hooked'. I had to leave at 8:30am, so was up at 8 kind of racing around getting organised, he made a coffee and got ready to head off.

 

He later messaged me and said "'missing me yet?" lol, had an amazing night x"

 

 

Last night he said it's sucks he couldn't see me (cause i had to work) and 'i miss you'.

 

 

Anyway he flies out for his week on at work tomorrow morning and he asked if he could see me next wednesday when he gets back.

 

He is so nice, do like him.