Is it worth pursuing?

[James]

Hi,

 

I've not been with my girlfriend for long but she leads a very hectic life. She always spends time with her friends, her horse or she may have work to do but she never seems to have much spare time for me.

 

I can't see how she can expect a relationship to form when she doesn't spend time with me.

 

I try to talk to her on the phone, but she always says she's tired or some other excuse. I ask her to call me when she can since I always catch her at inconvenient times but she never has called me once!

 

She was the one that was pursuing me before we started going out but now she has no time. We did have a great time when we did spend time together.

 

She says we can spend time together during the summer holidays, but we're both away for the last 5 weeks which gives us 10 days together!

 

(We only get 6 weeks in the UK, give or take a few days.)

 

We are only 16, some of you may be thinking, "Oh, you're still young and inexperienced.." and the usual and you're probably right...

 

That's why I'm asking for advice.

 

Shall I give it time and wait and see if she manages to find extra time or shall I just end it and stay friends?

 

I do like (love is an ambiguous word to use) her and she does like me.

 

I've tried talking to her about this but guess what...she has no time.

 

Thanx in advance.

 

James

[Taressa]

Hello from the USA.

 

I'm afraid you've already guessed that it's not too strong of a "like" relationship this girl feels for you. When we "like" a man we find time for him. When we "like" a man we MAKE time for him.

 

Your girlfriend is in an enviable position. She is surrounded by friends and activities she enjoys. She doesn't need a romantic relationship to fulfill her life.

 

The best advice I could give is to put yourself in a similar position. Stop pursuing the relationship and pursue a fun summer vacation. Become a little unavailable to her and do some things you enjoy. Your confidence and joy in life will be the greatest aphrodisiac to a girl whose life is full of fun things.

 

Love will come in time, perhaps with this girl, perhaps not. You've got the greatest blessing of time.

[billy the kid]

James, first I must tell you that I am already bias, I won't got near a girl that owns a horse nor will I date a girl that listens to country music.. not that they don't have some fine artists. just been burned really bad in the pastbuy them.. oh well all that asided it sounds like she doesn't have time for you.. so try leaving her totally alone for awhile, let her call you, and don't you sit around waiting by the phone. go out and start making a new life just in case she never calls or just wants to be friends....

Hi, I've not been with my girlfriend for long but she leads a very hectic life. She always spends time with her friends, her horse or she may have work to do but she never seems to have much spare time for me. I can't see how she can expect a relationship to form when she doesn't spend time with me. I try to talk to her on the phone, but she always says she's tired or some other excuse. I ask her to call me when she can since I always catch her at inconvenient times but she never has called me once! She was the one that was pursuing me before we started going out but now she has no time. We did have a great time when we did spend time together. She says we can spend time together during the summer holidays, but we're both away for the last 5 weeks which gives us 10 days together!

 

(We only get 6 weeks in the UK, give or take a few days.) We are only 16, some of you may be thinking, "Oh, you're still young and inexperienced.." and the usual and you're probably right... That's why I'm asking for advice. Shall I give it time and wait and see if she manages to find extra time or shall I just end it and stay friends? I do like (love is an ambiguous word to use) her and she does like me. I've tried talking to her about this but guess what...she has no time. Thanx in advance. James

[Aria]

It sounds like you know the answer to your question, you're just looking for some reassurance. Yes, you are young and there is so much out there for you. I think you know that she really isn't interested in being with you right now, which is probably not from anything you did. You seem like a really nice guy to be this concerned at this age, and willing to put in all this effort. My suggestion is to try to move on from this girl, but I know that is so hard when you really like somebody. I'm sure there are plenty of girls who would love to have a guy like you, it's just a matter of time until it happens for you!

Hi, I've not been with my girlfriend for long but she leads a very hectic life. She always spends time with her friends, her horse or she may have work to do but she never seems to have much spare time for me. I can't see how she can expect a relationship to form when she doesn't spend time with me. I try to talk to her on the phone, but she always says she's tired or some other excuse. I ask her to call me when she can since I always catch her at inconvenient times but she never has called me once! She was the one that was pursuing me before we started going out but now she has no time. We did have a great time when we did spend time together. She says we can spend time together during the summer holidays, but we're both away for the last 5 weeks which gives us 10 days together!

 

(We only get 6 weeks in the UK, give or take a few days.) We are only 16, some of you may be thinking, "Oh, you're still young and inexperienced.." and the usual and you're probably right... That's why I'm asking for advice. Shall I give it time and wait and see if she manages to find extra time or shall I just end it and stay friends? I do like (love is an ambiguous word to use) her and she does like me. I've tried talking to her about this but guess what...she has no time. Thanx in advance. James