alphamale Posted April 11, 2010 Share Posted April 11, 2010 Mind blowing sex will definitely take your mind off your ex but in my experience the only thing that really works is unfortunately, time. mind blowing sex makes time go by faster Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluz73 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Share Posted April 11, 2010 I know it's really hard, and sometimes curiosity can get the better of us... i know it sounds harsh but you do have to think that it is totally and absolutely over! Kill the hope. If he comes back great, if not you're getting on with your life. Things will get better i promise. You just have to be a little patient Bluz. Thank you for your responses...I just have good days and alot of bad. I never in my life could have imagined this man the kindess sweetest guy cut me out of his life cold turkey, never left me anything but heartache, he didnt string me along, but i was thinking wow if this girl just would have went away right away and then he tried to come back after he burnt the bridge how could he have after just being so cold and silent. Knowing they r together still kills me, not knowing if he ever thinks of us and wishes he never made the choice he made weighs on my mind, i would like to think i am a good memory but i guess i will never know, today is the first day in 2 months i have cried and miss our friendship the most Im not the kinda girl to sleep around, I have been hit on asked out but it feels so wrong and gross, How he could just jump in bed with a teenager is beyond me and that hurts too Life sucks! Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluz73 Posted April 11, 2010 Author Share Posted April 11, 2010 mind blowing sex makes time go by faster Well if he my ex is having the mind blowing sex with an amatuer 18 year old, who looks and acts 14 I highly doubt she is anything near like me in that area. I sure wish I could be a lil slutty and let myself have sex of anykind with someone but unfortunately I cant do that, I have morals Link to post Share on other sites
linwood Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 No, it won't help. It will be just a temporary band aid. All Band-Aids are temporary, they`re just to help you heal. In my opinion anything that gets your mind off your woes is a good thing even if temporary. Link to post Share on other sites
Odyssey Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Im not the kinda girl to sleep around, I have been hit on asked out but it feels so wrong and gross, How he could just jump in bed with a teenager is beyond me and that hurts too Life sucks!well...maybe because you're much stronger than he is. All Band-Aids are temporary, they`re just to help you heal. In my opinion anything that gets your mind off your woes is a good thing even if temporary.Like i'd said before ...just a distraction. But you still have to deal with the emotions from the breakup sooner or later. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluz73 Posted April 12, 2010 Author Share Posted April 12, 2010 well...maybe because you're much stronger than he is. Like i'd said before ...just a distraction. But you still have to deal with the emotions from the breakup sooner or later. Lucky him he dont have to deal with losing me since he got her now, so when will it all set in and him feel like crap like me? not fair Oh and I hate her too and i say that strongly because she knew about me and didnt care she helped ruin a 6 year love She just wanted a guy to live with and take care of her cause she was homeless and carless and she can go to hell and burn! I just had to vent that! Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 it sort of helped me first time I had sex with someone other than my ex fiance, It boosted my confidence, like I could still get with a hot woman and have intercourse, however after the deed I thought about my ex like I was cheating on her or something. Link to post Share on other sites
Nikki Sahagin Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Yes and no.Sleeping with someone else made me feel good because I was having sex, it was fun and I knew I COULD sleep with someone else. I felt like i'd snapped that tie to my ex (him being my first).BUT I also felt some guilt because he WAS my first and because of the promises we made to each other. Also, I had NO feelings for this guy I slept with and pretty much a week after we were sleeping together he said he loved me, so it became less about sex and more about love, and I had to dump him. At that point, I was not 'ready' to be the bad guy breaking someone elses heart but I was, so it can be messy in that you don't know how the other person might get attached and then you are causing more problems for yourself.I mean if you are really in love, a quick f--- with someone else, wont stop you loving another person but depending on how you see sex it can be a good distraction. If you are feeling vulnerable though, it will probably only make you feel worse. The sex only helped me somewhat because I didn't feel any emotional attachment to the guy so I felt free. But the love for my ex didn't fade away. Link to post Share on other sites
nobmagnet Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Using sex to get over an ex IMO is a minefeild of possible problems. Firstly unless you make it clear that you dont want a relationship with the other person then it is unfaire on them. You have no idea their moral conduct and it could be crushing for them to find out they were used. Secondly you have to look at your own moral rules. If you wont feel dirty or embarrassed in the future then fine but there is nothing worse than regret ontop of your already broken heart. I say this because I thought long and hard about it before hitting the sack with a man (know him for 11 years). I made it clear that although i found him attractive and wanted it, in my present state of mind I could not offer a relationship. He had the oppertunity to think about it...........like for a nano second :p . It was great to be attractive to a man again but it didnt help me heal. It was fun...........but that was what it was. Nobby xx Link to post Share on other sites
stillafool Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 Lucky him he dont have to deal with losing me since he got her now, so when will it all set in and him feel like crap like me? not fair Oh and I hate her too and i say that strongly because she knew about me and didnt care she helped ruin a 6 year love She just wanted a guy to live with and take care of her cause she was homeless and carless and she can go to hell and burn! I just had to vent that! Bluz I know you just want to vent but you are letting this hate thing really get to you. This girl is only 18 and you've said in other posts that you felt he was taking advantage of her. I am sure he thinks about you too. I have been where you are and this girl probably looks up to him and makes him feel like the stronger person. When he was with you he probably knew he was the weaker one and it didn't make him feel like a man. If he wants to be a man he should grow up and move out of his parents home. It's good you are going through an anger stage (to help you get over him) but it should be directed at him, not her. Link to post Share on other sites
Author bluz73 Posted April 12, 2010 Author Share Posted April 12, 2010 I know I shouldnt hate her, shes just a niave 18 yr old but I do for the simple fact she knew about our history and was so afaid of him and I working things out she had to move here with him and only knew him a month thats pathetic and needy and Im pissed! I cant stand him either for betraying my trust and shattering my dreams, I got nothing in the end no consideration or lets be friends now or someday NOTHING! I DIDNT **** UP HE DID! Why do I get treated like crap? Rejection sucks, and if they break up I can honestly say I probably will be so happy and it would make it easier for me to move on...I feel like she thinks she won my man and Im the loser and I hate that feeling I want her to feel pain! Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted April 12, 2010 Share Posted April 12, 2010 I think healing your damaged ego after a breakup can be extremely helpful towards recovery but nothing happens overnight. For me a big part of the heart break is the fear of never finding love again. When I go out and a man pays attention to me or flirts with me it’s a big ego boost for me. The more I go out and the more men pay attention to me the more the fear goes away and I don’t obsess over the ex as much. I don’t date by choice. I’ve always taken my time between relationships, I don’t do rebounds so I don’t know how that would be but definitely letting another person make you feel desired can’t hurt the healing process but it's not and end all. Link to post Share on other sites
jlr Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 My ex and I have been broke up for about a year and a half, though we still had sex for several months after. And it was more of a mind **** in the end than enjoyable. The last time I had sex was with her, about a year ago. There's a couple girls I could have probably have had sex with, but I pretty much went out of my way to avoid any situations in which it could happen. Still do. To be honest, I'm sort of freaked out by it. I was in a relationship for five years, where we had sex pretty regularly. And now, the thought of it with someone else scares the **** out of me. I've spent the last year or so dealing with the breakup and all the hurt and pain that came from it. Sex is still something I can't fathom with a new person yet. And yeah, I'm a male. So not all males are the way some of you described. It bums me out sometimes. I see other people - male and female - having sex after breakups, casually. I'm just not wired that way. I've never had casual sex. I've only had it in relationships. I wonder why I'm like that, or if there's something wrong with me? Link to post Share on other sites
romer Posted April 13, 2010 Share Posted April 13, 2010 My ex and I broke up almost two months ago and I can't even stomach the idea...I guess if you are ready, your "gut" will tell you... Link to post Share on other sites
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