Author tavoludo Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 (edited) Blindsided, I can relate! Your story is unfolding a lot like mine did. http://www.loveshack.org/forums/search.php?searchid=13381761 in case you want to skip ahead. Not a happy ending though.:( TOJAZ I cannot open the link, yeah I'm preparing myself for that anyway my hope has not died just yet. There is nobody in her life just in case that's what happened in other relationships. I'm sorry it turnout like that TOJAZ Edited April 17, 2010 by tavoludo Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 I cannot open the link, yeah I'm preparing myself for that anyway my hope has not died just yet. There is nobody in her life just in case that's what happened in other relationships. I'm sorry it turnout like that TOJAZ It was a link to my threads. If you click on my name to the left and go to statistics you can find them if you want. Maybe see where I went wrong and some of the advice given to me. Its good not to give up hope. People do get back together! It happens here more then most might think. Just not the norm. The most important part is having 2 people that are committed to fixing it, or at least giving it a chance to be repaired. I had less then a month before she moved out and hid from me. Thats not even enough time to process what was said let alone all the emotions involved even though it seemed like an eternity. You seem to be going about things well. Just dont panic and take it slow, a piece at a time. If you throw to much at her, she'll run! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tavoludo Posted April 17, 2010 Author Share Posted April 17, 2010 (edited) Yeah I'm taking things little by little, quite a change from the partner and boyfriend I used to be. I was always the one contacting them, always calling, always begging and needy. Not now, it's been 12 days since I talked to her on the phone and I will until I send that letter. I'm not doing this out of punishment but for my own sanity and more importantly giving her time to think about it. Me knocking on her door or filling up her inbox or apartment with flowers will not help because in other relationships hasn't helped me. The only difference between this relationship and the others is that she sincerely loves me and married me. Anyway, another day another post. Let's see how things go next week after I send the letter and with the counselor. Thank you to all of you that are reading my posts and answering, again I'm sorry for those that was too late, just see it like a chapter in your life, you will find somebody to share your love and prove how much this experience taught you. I am here toO if you need me Edited April 17, 2010 by tavoludo Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Yeah I'm taking things little by little, quite a change from the partner and boyfriend I used to be. I was always the one contacting them, always calling, always begging and needy. Not now, it's been 12 days since I talked to her on the phone and I will until I send that letter. I'm not doing this out of punishment but for my own sanity and more importantly giving her time to think about it. Me knocking on her door or filling up her inbox or apartment with flowers will not help because in other relationships hasn't helped me. The only difference between this relationship and the others is that she sincerely loves me and married me. Anyway, another day another post. Let's see how things go next week after I send the letter and with the counselor. Thank you to all of you that are reading my posts and answering, again I'm sorry for those that was too late, just see it like a chapter in your life, you will find somebody to share your love and prove how much this experience taught you. I am here toO if you need me STAY STRONG TAV! and keep us posted. Best way to thank those that help you here is to help those newbies that sadly keep flowing in. Thats how I try to thank the vets that were here (and some still are) when I was where your at. TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tavoludo Posted April 21, 2010 Author Share Posted April 21, 2010 yesterday was a good day, really good day. Today, not that great but I am feeling better and getting used to the idea that she is not around anymore. I have counseling today, and I'm taking the letter that I'll be sending her telling her that I still love her and we should work this out. Wish me luck, Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 GOOD LUCK TAV!!!!! Fingers and toes crossed for you! TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
Author tavoludo Posted April 22, 2010 Author Share Posted April 22, 2010 (edited) Thank you tojaz, it was sent today, it may get there in a couple of days. The counselor said that the letter is perfect because it covers every aspect and didn't miss anything. He said in case she doesn't respond or doesn't chose to save the marriage you have to be happy that you did everything you could to save your marriage. 1)I am going to counseling to address my own issues, 2) reading self-help books and 3) trying to reach out to see if she can reconsider divorce and 4) I'm recognizing my errors. Time will tell but I feel relieved because i have behaved first like a gentleman, second like the husband that she was longing for and at least i'm trying to save it. Edited April 22, 2010 by tavoludo Link to post Share on other sites
tojaz Posted April 22, 2010 Share Posted April 22, 2010 Time will tell but I feel relieved because i have behaved first like a gentleman, second like the husband that she was longing for and at least i'm trying to save it. In the end thats all you can do TAV. At least you can start over knowing you treated right and with respect in light of the awful circumstances. Hold your head high regardless of what comes next. Best of luck TOJAZ Link to post Share on other sites
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