I got played

[Anela]

I've been in a similar situation - he came on strong at first (when I was barely talking to him), then at some point, turned it around and told me that I had the wrong end of the stick. He'd start to get sweet and romantic at other times, only to back off, once again.

 

He liked me, but obviously not enough - or, he just enjoyed knowing that I liked him.

[SadandConfusedWA]

I went for a coffee with my female friend and she payed for me. Does this mean that she is secretly a lesbian and into me?

[Left in a Lurch]

I'm not continuing to hang around him. HE signed up with a class to be with ME. HE continues to talk to ME. The ONLY thing I did was send him a friend request on myspace. HE took the relationship further. HE asked ME to go get coffee. HE offered to pay...HE constantly continues to talk to ME. Are you noticing a pattern yet? I'm not going after him in the least. How do you justify a guy going after a "friendship" with a girl and then say I'm the one doing it to myself? It's called being played and plenty of my girlfriends have had it done to them.

 

So based on this you think he is showing he is totally in to you, but also told you HE didn't like you?

 

I think your crush on him has made you misjudge very minor actions as something only a boyfriend would do.

 

If it he buys a cup of coffee, it simply means he was willing to spend $1 on you, not that he wants to start building a life together.

If he looks at you and smiles, it does not mean he stared at you longingly with a look of love in his eyes and a smile that said you would be together forever.

If he calls you to say hello it does not mean he was thinking of you all day and just needed to hear your voice.

 

However, if he says he is not interested in you like that, it means he is not interested in you like that. I think your own thoughts are leading you on.

[Left in a Lurch]

I went for a coffee with my female friend and she payed for me. Does this mean that she is secretly a lesbian and into me?

 

No, but it means I want to buy YOU a cup of coffee now.

[linwood]

His actions don't match up to what he says.

 

Either that or you`re misconstruing his words and/or actions.

 

So lets back up a bit and give you the benefit of doubt.

 

What has he said or done that would lead you to believe he`s romantically interested in you?

 

What has he done to contradict his words?

[Chocolat]

Payed* not played

 

Paid, not payed.

 

In any case, who paid is not the issue. It was NOT a date. It was an impromptu, let's get a coffee. He paid - no big deal. I often buy coffee for my friends (male and female) and they buy coffee for me. I am not dating any of them!

 

As for him taking charge, this may just be his personality. Perhaps he is a gentleman and that's why he held the door, etc.

 

Unless there is more to this story than what you have posted, he did not play you.

[cuppa]

OP, having a man paid for your coffee doesn't mean that he's romantically interested in you.

 

c'mon now, my male coworkers bought me coffee (it's only 2.35! for my small lattee, it's not a fancy dinner or some like that). Sometimes, I bought them coffee. It's more convenient to order all at once. Holding a door open, that's chivalrous thing to do.

[You Go Girl]

Well, as I wasn't there to watch the entire coffee experience go down, it's difficult to say anything for sure.

But maybe, maybe, he was undecided about whether he wanted to date you or not. Maybe he made his mind up later.

 

But I definitely would not get upset at men buying me a coffee. I've been around in this world a lot longer than you--and I can tell you that as personal offenses go, buying me a coffee is not one of them. Like some guy poster already said--nice guys get hell, eh? Or how about this saying that I really love: "No good deed goes unpunished." lol