Does the One Exist?

[Loved, and Maybe Lost = LoveDude]

Just a curious question. I am wondering how many of you out there beleive that there is truly someone who can be called "the One"? the general consensus it seems would be no.

 

To me it seems that the one your with right now, if you are completely in love, would seem to be the one at the time. But maybe there's someone else over the horizon who's even better?

 

But then you have the issue that if you break it off with your current because you don't think she's the one, could you live with the feeling of "The One that got away"?

 

Just curious as to other people's opinion, as we head into the weekend.

[Taressa]

It's a beautiful notion, isn't it? The One, My Soul-Mate.

 

I don't believe there is just one person who is right for us but I believe too many people settle for something than less than the best.

 

I believe that someday, if I make smart choices today, I will find a man who fits best with me. If I'm patient enough not to compromise those things most important to me, the man I find will feel like THE one and on some special days after we're married for thirty, forty years I'll still feel like he was created especially for me.

 

What about you? Mrs. Right or Mrs. Right-Now?

 

Have a good weekend.

[Tony T]

Robert Ringer, in his book "Looking Out For Number One" published some years ago, introduced what he called the Better Deal Theory. Essentially, according to his theory which to me seems valid, no matter who you are with there is always somebody out there who could be better for you.

 

Ringer points out, however, that you can "better deal" yourself right into the grave and lose out on some of life's greatest intimacy adventures by a lifetime search for the "better deal."

 

If it serves you well, you can remain single until you are 50 or 60 or even older and play the field, having short to intermediate term relationships and moving on when your tired of them. Or you can find someone with whom you have a great deal in common, where there is great love and physical attraction, and make the committment to develop that relationship to its fullest.

 

We are free human beings. THE ONE, as unromantic as it may sound, is the one that you finally choose to make that committment with. All the great and wonderful loves you have prior to that are learning and growing experiences.

 

And yes, the divorce courts are exploding with couples who are parting with their ONE in favor of being single or finding another who could be THE ONE. Fifty percent or better of couples who fall madly in love and marry will ultimately part in divorce, according to U.S. statistics.

 

The best thing we can do is learn as much as we can about ourselves and what we want and then search for that, taking as much time as possible. If you are happy with serial monogamy, that is a series of monogamous relationships, there is nothing wrong with that. Comedian David Letterman is known for getting a new girlfriend about every three years and has done so since his short marriage ended almost 27 years ago. He turned 53 in April and he may go forever without marrying again. But you have to decide what is best for you.

 

It is always the tendency of people to look back and think how wonderful things may have been with this or that person that we passed up. I have no reason why people want to play with their brains that way...but they do.

 

There's a verse by the famous poet, Annonymous, which a lot of people recite:

 

"No sadder words of tongue or pen

 

Are those which say "it might have been."

 

I prefer the song, "Love THE ONE you're with."

 

If you ever get all this figured out, post your findings on this forum.

 

If indeed there is a ONE AND ONLY out there just for you, the only person that can pronounce or so designate them so is YOU.

[billy the kid]

well Lovedude, you know that the grass is always greener on the other side, or so they say.. you really didn't say much about your present girl, or why you want to leave.. I can say though that I have been in the same position and was sorry for my leaving for greener pastures, which weren't.. oh well we all learn from our own mistakes, not others.. good luck

Just a curious question. I am wondering how many of you out there beleive that there is truly someone who can be called "the One"? the general consensus it seems would be no. To me it seems that the one your with right now, if you are completely in love, would seem to be the one at the time. But maybe there's someone else over the horizon who's even better? But then you have the issue that if you break it off with your current because you don't think she's the one, could you live with the feeling of "The One that got away"? Just curious as to other people's opinion, as we head into the weekend.

[Nina]

I believe firmly that there is something unmeasurable about love. Something that is unexaminable in the scientific arena, because it's not quanitifable.

 

I have felt like I was in love before. Or so I thought. But when I met my fiancee, it really was love at first sight. We spent every day together after that. And my feeling of love for him is completely different from every previous experience I've ever had.

 

It sounds strange. My reasonable, logical mind told me that this was unwise. Normally, I am a very pragmatic person. My father told me that you know you've found the one for you when they're someone who challenges you to be a better person. He's been married for almost 30 years and they still cuddle and hold hands.

 

My mother told me that in order to truely be able to love someone, you have to be unselfish and giving. A lot of people aren't willing to change and grow to suit another person. I've been studying marriage and family counseling for the past four years, so my relationship is insanely healthy and has weathered many storms. It's lucky for my fiancee and I because I do know how to moderate disputes and express my needs, and many many many people don't.

 

I guess I'm trying to say that if you are open to it, there is that one out there, but unfortunately many people aren't.