Pretty sure I've been friendzoned but...

[tophat mcgee]

Okay, so when I told a girl I liked her about 5 months ago she said, "I'm really flattered, but you didn't really expect me to say yes, did you? You're really nice and I'm sure you can do many things to make a girl happy... But I'm just gonna have to say, 'no.' I'm so sorry."

 

I realize that's probably the kiss of death right there, but the thing is I think she honestly does see something in me. It's hard to describe but it's just when she looks at me her eyes get all sparkly-like and puts on a little smile. It doesn't sound like much but I can't describe it...

 

Though in her past she's had a lot of guys who have had crushes on her and end up stalking her or being just creepy and such... I fear she may have seen me as just "another guy with a crush on her" at the time.

 

But I know I should move on but the thing is whenever I go searching there IS no one for me.

 

She's the one who actually cares and wants to help with my problems. She actually makes me feel good about myself. When she hugs me I wish she'd never let go... And she's so beautiful on the inside, she has the kindest heart I ever seen in someone.

 

Just being with her makes me happy, and I honestly can't say I've been happy in a long time.

 

Well this kind of turned into some pointless rant, but do I even have a slight fighting chance at this? I finally meet someone who I can actually relate to and care about and it kills me that I'm stuck as just "a friend."

[alphamale]

unfortunately you are deep inside the friends zone

[Sevenscars]

Okay, so when I told a girl I liked her about 5 months ago she said, "I'm really flattered, but you didn't really expect me to say yes, did you? You're really nice and I'm sure you can do many things to make a girl happy... But I'm just gonna have to say, 'no.' I'm so sorry."

 

She doesn't like you.

 

I realize that's probably the kiss of death right there,

 

It is

 

but the thing is I think she honestly does see something in me. It's hard to describe but it's just when she looks at me her eyes get all sparkly-like and puts on a little smile. It doesn't sound like much but I can't describe it...

 

She does see something in you: she sees that you like her! And it makes her feel all warm and cuddly inside, because she feels wanted. Why would she want to get rid of that when she can have that and your friendship and nothing more?

 

Though in her past she's had a lot of guys who have had crushes on her and end up stalking her or being just creepy and such... I fear she may have seen me as just "another guy with a crush on her" at the time.

 

But I know I should move on but the thing is whenever I go searching there IS no one for me.

 

Bull****, you keep thinking like that and it'll stay true.

 

She's the one who actually cares and wants to help with my problems. She actually makes me feel good about myself. When she hugs me I wish she'd never let go... And she's so beautiful on the inside, she has the kindest heart I ever seen in someone.

 

Just being with her makes me happy, and I honestly can't say I've been happy in a long time.

 

Of course she cares, she's your FRIEND

 

Well this kind of turned into some pointless rant, but do I even have a slight fighting chance at this?

 

No.

 

I finally meet someone who I can actually relate to and care about and it kills me that I'm stuck as just "a friend."

 

Sorry man. We've all been there. It sucks, but there's nothing you can do about it, she's made up her mind. You can keep being friends with her, but it'll only hurt you, especially when you finally realize (even though you already know) that you're stuck in the friend zone.

 

unfortunately you are deep inside the friends zone

 

And there's no way out, move to square 1 and roll again.

[on edge]

You have been friendzoned. She just likes the attention that you give her. At this point, the best thing that you can do is to move on and find someone else. Kudos for having the balls to tell her how you feel. That takes a lot of courage. One more thing, I have had three girls friendzone me after I told them that I liked them. Strangely, a year or two after I told them how I felt, I ended up knocking their boots. This has happened three times. My advice: move on and stop showing an interest. Once she stops getting your attention, she will miss it and want it back and she may want to knock your boots.

[ADF]

This woman told you very plainly she isn't interested. Leave it alone. You can't will her to change her mind. If you persist in trying to take your relationship with her somewhere she doesn't want to go, you will drive yourself crazy and her crazy as well.

[SadandConfusedWA]

The problem with you men is that you all fall for female friends that are WAY out of your league. If she has guys stalking her etc, she must be drop dead gorgeous. On the other hand, from your post it doesn't sound like you have girls fighting over you. See the big discrepency right there?

 

If you want a girlfriend go and look for someone on your own level.

[ADF]

The problem with you men is that you all fall for female friends that are WAY out of your league. If she has guys stalking her etc, she must be drop dead gorgeous. On the other hand, from your post it doesn't sound like you have girls fighting over you. See the big discrepency right there?

 

If you want a girlfriend go and look for someone on your own level.

 

That is a horribly crass and cynical way to look at things. And also not really accurate.

 

First of all, a woman doesn't have to be "drop dead gorgeous" to have a whole bunch of men persuing her. Unattached women who are even remotely attractive usually get quite a bit of attention from men.

 

Second, you cannot possibly infer how attractive the OP is from the fact he doesn't have a bunch of women after him. How often do women "chase" men? It may happen, but it is pretty rare.

 

Saying he should stick to someone "on his own level" reeks of arrogance. It implies beautiful people are some kind of social elite the rest of us are unworthy of associating with. What rubbish. The woman has a right to say no, but he certainly has a right to ask.

[Peaceful Guy]

..just "a friend."

 

ever not had any friends? let me tell you how much that sucks! i feel for you here so im not scolding, i think that all of us feel this way at some point or another!

 

she really does sound like a friend! a good one! there's room in your life for female friends that you aren't romantically involved with! you're attracted to her, compliment! that's great.. my friends are very attractive too, but we don't have to be romantic. it sounds like this is a person that will be more than happy to support you as you find yourself, which will make you independent and happy, free from the need to have someone else to give you joy! don't get me wrong, relationships are great, but the best ones come from a mutual desire to experience each other as they are.. otherwise its a drain on both people involved. try not to get depressed.. pick something fun and do it! take a chance, drink a coke, have a smile! :)

[SadandConfusedWA]

That is a horribly crass and cynical way to look at things. And also not really accurate.

 

First of all, a woman doesn't have to be "drop dead gorgeous" to have a whole bunch of men persuing her. Unattached women who are even remotely attractive usually get quite a bit of attention from men.

 

Second, you cannot possibly infer how attractive the OP is from the fact he doesn't have a bunch of women after him. How often do women "chase" men? It may happen, but it is pretty rare.

 

Saying he should stick to someone "on his own level" reeks of arrogance. It implies beautiful people are some kind of social elite the rest of us are unworthy of associating with. What rubbish. The woman has a right to say no, but he certainly has a right to ask.

 

Unfortunetely it is very accurate. Truth is brutal and hard to take, but that doesn't make it any less true.

 

I am a woman. I have many friends that are women. The more beautiful a woman is, the more pursuers she has. It is pretty simple. Slightly above average women do not get much attention at all.

 

OP can you post pics of the woman you are into and of yourself and prove me worng?

[ADF]

Unfortunetely it is very accurate. Truth is brutal and hard to take, but that doesn't make it any less true.

 

I am a woman. I have many friends that are women. The more beautiful a woman is, the more pursuers she has. It is pretty simple. Slightly above average women do not get much attention at all.

 

OP can you post pics of the woman you are into and of yourself and prove me worng?

 

Lies are often brutal and hard to take, too.

 

I was not disputing the fact beautiful women have male persuers. I was disputing your claim to KNOW that that the OP must be "out of his league" with regards to the woman in question. I a man. I can tell YOU that men are nowhere near as picky as you think they are. A woman does NOT have to be drop-dead gorgeous to attract male attention. Any woman who is even remotely attractive is going to have guys hitting on her from time to time.

 

I also objected to your apparent belief less-than-beautiful people are inferior, that they should know their place and stay away from people more attractive than they are. Again, what arrogance!

[Dolos]

Unfortunetely it is very accurate. Truth is brutal and hard to take, but that doesn't make it any less true.

 

I am a woman. I have many friends that are women. The more beautiful a woman is, the more pursuers she has. It is pretty simple. Slightly above average women do not get much attention at all.

 

OP can you post pics of the woman you are into and of yourself and prove me worng?

 

A reasonably attractive woman is going to get significantly more attention than a equivalently attractive guy, unless she has a really messed up personality. You also cant look at it in purely physical terms, i know Ive dated several women who many people would consider out of my league in terms of physical attractiveness. Although i do agree with you to a point. I see a lot of guys that will befirend a woman who they probably don't have a shot with and expect it to increase their odds of dating her, and i think that's a pretty ****ty thing to do both to themselves and the girl.

 

As far as the op goes you have a few choices. You can try and get her to hook you up with some of her friends, which probably isn't likely since I'm sure she enjoys your attention, also because she probably wont feel comfortable recommending you to any of her friends since she herself doesn't see you as datable. You can keep deluding yourself into thinking shes going to change her mind about you for no explicable reason. Finally you could just stop talking to her and move on completely. The last thing is probably what you should do, and tbh why you would want to continue being friends with someone who told you "You didn't really expect me to say yes did you?" is completely beyond me.

[Rearden Metal]

The problem with you men is that you all fall for female friends that are WAY out of your league. If she has guys stalking her etc, she must be drop dead gorgeous. On the other hand, from your post it doesn't sound like you have girls fighting over you. See the big discrepency right there?

 

If you want a girlfriend go and look for someone on your own level.

 

Oh brother...

 

The whole point is to find someone "out of our league". That way we don't get insanely bored and tired of mediocrity.

 

Something tells me guys "settle" for you.