moimeme Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 RON JEREMY FOR PRESIDENT!!!!!! Ewwwwwwww Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 thegirlnextdoortoyou but i find that it would be rude and disrespectful if he watched it and masterbated to it.He would be an idiot if he did it around you, or even told you about it. LauraD I think pornography brings out the worst in human sexuality.Let me guess. It creates sexual boredom. Maybe some women get jealous. Maybe they think they have to compete with a pinup for a man. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 I would say that the guy(s) out there who doesn't watch porn, beat it, or think of you and your best girl-friend in wildly sexual scenarios from time to time is an extreme rarity - and in all probability not someone you'd be interested in dating. A little porn never killed anyone. I only know of one guy who has "never" had a stray sexual thought, and if he has, he probably spent the next twelve hours praying and repenting. He constantly reminds people that he is better than they are because he's found Jesus, but because he is working for the Lord, it's okay to act high-and-mighty, as long as he's "converting the heathens." I'm sure he's going to make some woman very happy someday... As long as the porn isn't an addiction (i.e. he's not logging hours and hours on the web, spending loads of cash, has stopped having sex with you, or does it less frequently and with less ardor), it shouldn't be a problem. It's healthy and it's, for the most part, safe. If it really disgusts you, tell him that he needs to do a better job hiding it from you, because that's probably the best you're going to get without dragging a counselor into it. *usually the woman is the partner who has a problem with porn - I've never heard of a case where it was the other way around - guys, is a girl who likes porn a turn-on, or is this just something that isn't discussed if it does become an issue? Do any girls have porn addictions? Just wondering, I need to do some research on the topic, it looks like. Link to post Share on other sites
BlockHead Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 mintjulep He constantly reminds people that he is better than they are because he's found Jesus, but because he is working for the Lord, it's okay to act high-and-mighty, as long as he's "converting the heathens."Is he trying to share the joy, or is he preaching? Maybe he has a passion for life that you could never match. I don’t watch porn because I see no reason to do so. Why waste my time on a few pictures or videos? These are women I could never have, and I probably wouldn’t find them interesting. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 Nah, he's preaching. He has no passion for "life," just for Jesus. By the way, I am in the process of converting to Judaism, so I have found passion in a beautiful religion that accepts people for who they are, but even though sometimes I have this glow about what I've learned, I never hold it above people, nor do I share with anyone but the people I love, unless I'm point-blank asked about it. I thought it was clear that he is a nuisance to most people, including his fraternity brothers, who have grown to like him as a person, but ignore his religious antics. It's mostly not joy that he's spreading, either. It's not, "Oh, look at the wonderful thing in my life, come find out more about it." It's, "You're an awful sinner for doing _X_. Follow my example and you'll be saved." He's definitely not a keeper, unless you're willing to be as principled as he is, and are as - imho - as annoying as he is. I'm not saying what he does is evil, just that it's a pain in my ass.Maybe he has a passion for life that you could never match.I'm not jealous of him, or his "passion"...I was pointing out that the only guy I know who actually, physically doesn't like porn is like this. Maybe it's not a "fair" cross section, because I go to the nerdiest school in the country (besides CalTech), and just because I live next door to a fraternity doesn't mean that the guys are a fair representation of what's out there. I know guys who aren't "into" porn, but don't kid - everyone has sexual thoughts and fantasies. Porn is just one way of expressing that. Link to post Share on other sites
LauraD Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 "Grow up"--wonderfully funny command someone directed at me based on my stated distaste for porn, etc. I think I am doing just fine. Everyone has a right to view what they wish, and I am entitled to believing that pornography is crass. To all you who like porn, view on! I simply don't like it. Thanks! Have a nice day. Link to post Share on other sites
doniker Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 There are so many boring porn posts on this forum about women not wanting there men looking at porn, jacking to porn, blah blah blah. Any woman that is secure with herself should not let porn bother her. Some men need variety; since cheating is wrong they masturbate to porn. It's a safe outlet. ---- now these guys that would rather beat it to porn then have sex with there girlfriends/wives probably really want out of the relationship but are too wimpy to leave or can't afford to leave. Or there girlfriends/wives have gotten fat/ugly or suck in bed. Link to post Share on other sites
mintjulep Posted January 20, 2004 Share Posted January 20, 2004 since cheating is wrong they masturbate to porn. It's a safe outlet. That is an interesting and yet utterly horrible way of putting it. Link to post Share on other sites
soserious1 Posted January 27, 2004 Share Posted January 27, 2004 I have no problem with men viewing porn.What does trouble me is a man who comes bounding into the bedroom with a full on erection that I had zero part in bringing about,turning off the lights and giving me a grope and poke for which I'm supposed to express pleasure and gratitude.In such situations I don't feel like a treasured lover but rather like a convient,useful hole,a cum rag. Maybe I'm weird but I like my sex to at least occasionally have something to do with actual desire for ME.If a man wishes to enjoy porn he has every right to do so,I just wish he'd finish up with his porn and not use me as his kleenex. Link to post Share on other sites
LoveDeluxe Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 Originally posted by midori I think one point of tension in this discussion are differing attitudes about whether or not a man's occasional porn-viewing affects his partner. In my view, it doesn't. So unless a guy has an addiction to porn, where he's watching it everyday and in fact prefers it to real sex with his partner, I just don't see what the big deal is, or how a girlfriend/wife figures it's her right to control his behavior. What if it were something else, like drinking alcohol? Girlnextdoor, would you feel it your right to expect your boyfriend to conform to your views about alcohol consumption? What if you were a strict teetotaler and you were with a guy who had, on average, one beer per day (by most definitions, in no way a drinking problem)? Would you think he ought to accommodate your views, simply because that's how you feel? Let's assume he's an intelligent guy, and his view of one-beer-per-day is different from yours -- why should your view trump his? Or what if your partner had appalling taste in clothing and always looked like a slob, while you are immaculately groomed and stylish -- could you reasonably demand or expect that he'll change his clothes to suit you? In other words, what's important: the offended partner's attitude, or whether the "offense" is actually something that directly affects the relationship? It's a slippery slope. Because a girlfriend/wife who feels it's her place to dictate what is and is not acceptable behavior based solely on whether or not she likes the behavior, and would like to participate in it herself, had better be prepared to have the tables turned on her. Do you like chatting on the phone for an hour and a half every day to your sister across town? Better be prepared to curtail those phone calls. Do you like wearing stylish clothes that are in no way trashy but your boyfriend feels are a bit too revealing? Better be ready to burn those clothes and start wearing the shapelss sacks he feels more comfortable with you in. Or how about this: don't like to watch porn? Your boyfriend thinks you're uptight, sexually insecure, and somewhat mechanical in bed. Better get ready to watch at least one xxx video each night. And bring a notebook, you could get some valuable tips. Loosen up, after all, that's what your boyfriend wants. And if he wants it, you should by all means do what makes him comfortable. [if you didn't see my tongue in my cheek during this last paragraph, do re-read with that in mind] I agree that there is nothing wrong with expressing your discomfort with something, but I just don't see how on earth you can expect someone to change just because you want them to. If porn is a deal-breaker for you, you should admit that to yourself and to your boyfriend and break up. Midori, wow!!!!!! I could not have said it any better!!!! Link to post Share on other sites
faux Posted January 29, 2004 Share Posted January 29, 2004 If porn is replacing you then I would worry. Otherwise just ask him to keep it more private in your scenario. Also please understand that men use porn as a tool for sexual relief. Most of us ARE going to watch it and masturbate to it, even if we are with a woman that we love, whether she knows it or not. I got to thinking that I remember my past girlfriends have all fantasized, but it was always about me. I fantasize as well, and it's always about the girl I am with when I am with a girl. Aside from that I don't tend to fantasize when I am single. I still, however, look at porn either way. I can see why that might bother a lot of women, considering I see they tend to think solely of their partners. I tend not to mention that I look at the stuff unless I'm asked however. It's sort of a private thing. Some girls I have been with wanted me to take photos of them and make videos of myself and them. Then, however, they would ask if I had been looking at porn lately. I'd be honest and say "yes". Then they would ask if it was of them or other people... And by the way they were asking I KNEW they were really hoping for it to have been of just them. I'd have to be honest and say "Sometimes you. Sometimes others. Sometimes both." I guess that to me porn is a purely sexual, meaningless thing. Even if I do have imagery of a girl I love I can't look at it just to get off... Porn is for that... The girl I love is to cherish and actually FEEL something for. Then again I have also been with those girls who are the ones pushing for the whole threesome thing, or talking about how they were watching porn and it got them horny. I don't talk to them like that, and personally when they spoke to me like that it was upsetting. I'd hope that in this scenario the guy isn't doing THAT. Link to post Share on other sites
monster Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 I know how you feel...I used to have a huge problem with porn with my boyfriend at first. But I also figured out the reason why I had a problem with it was because I was not used to being around it. Since then I have come to terms with it. If it is out of site and out of mind, it is not a big deal to me. As long as he covers the evidence, I don't even think about it. Just remember that porn really has nothing to do with us women...it has to do with the man. As long as it doesn't effect your sex life with your BF, just forget about it. Like actresses etc., the girls and guys in porn are not real people! You are real! Honestly, if you have a problem with your BF looking at the kind of thing, you should talk to him about it and express your concerns. However, we cannot change somebody no matter how much we think we can. Good luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
Jon S. Posted February 17, 2004 Share Posted February 17, 2004 Originally posted by LauraD "Grow up"--wonderfully funny command someone directed at me based on my stated distaste for porn, etc. I think I am doing just fine. Everyone has a right to view what they wish, and I am entitled to believing that pornography is crass. To all you who like porn, view on! I simply don't like it. Thanks! Have a nice day. Talk about completely ignoring my post. What I was referring to was your pathetic attempt to turn pornography into a relationship-breaker and still smell like roses. (I'm waiting for your "oh my god - he called me pathetic!" reply) It's one thing to not like porn. It's a completely different thing to judge someone who watches it. My sig other smokes cigarettes. It's bloody disgusting. I'd never do it. But I DO NOT judge her based on it. I encourage her to quit, but I don't threaten to break up with her over it. Now, there's a big difference between porn and cigs. Smoking is hazardous to HER health and hazardous to MY health from secondary smoke. The porn isn't hurting anyone. I'll say it again (because you didn't listen the first time), but you need to grow up. Link to post Share on other sites
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