How to handle separate vacations

[HappyAgain]

I have accrued 7 weeks of vacation time for this year so far - my SO has only 4 weeks available. We were are planning on taking a 2-week vacation together to Brazil. We both love the idea and are so excited. And then there is 2-weeks over the Christmas holidays that we are talking about. That still leaves me with another 3-weeks of vacation time without him. My problem is how to handle the remaining time.

 

This is my first serious R since leaving my 15-year marriage a couple of years ago. There would have been no question with my xH as he was fine taking vacations without me but would have been jealous beyond belief if I were to take a vacation to an exotic location without him. If I were to have gone anywhere without him it would have done nothing but cause strife in our marriage and I would have stayed home or gone to my parents' for my holiday. My SO is nothing like my ex and does not begrudge me my freedom. However, I guess I still have those old worries and guilt from my marriage about going off to whereabouts unknown for 3 weeks while my SO stays home.

 

We are, I guess, what can best be defined as a "modern" couple - we're exclusive, we maintain our own homes, have demanding jobs, and I have no plans to move in with him or marry him in the near future. I guess it's my way of dealing with being burned from a 15-year abusive marriage to a monster who had left me financially destitute. My SO is fine with this as we have known each other for years and he knows what I have gone through and understands my need for freedom. However, this is my first time going through this with someone not as narcissistic as my xH so I am unsure how to handle the situation.

 

Although he is fine with my freedom at home I haven't broached the subject of going off on holidays without him. My residual guilt from my xH has stopped me from mentioning it to him. I seriously doubt he will have a problem but I am scared that it will cause a rift (again thanks to experiences with my xH.) The other problem is that I really want this time away on my own. There is no ulterior motive on my part for going without him except that it's been a dream of mine for years to go alone.

 

Men, would you be upset if your girlfriend went off, to say Europe, without you? Even if you could take unpaid time off to go with her but she didn't want you to come? Would it offend you if she told you that she wants to go alone?