GrayClouds Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 (edited) People..people... 'I will NEVER cheat'... this is soooo easy to say.. when you're in your 20s and have never been in a long relationship... Honestly... come back in 20 years and I bet you won't have the same idea of 'cheating'... Cum grano salis... coming from someone who is compelled to emblematize themselves via soft core avatars . Edited April 17, 2010 by GrayClouds Link to post Share on other sites
Woggle Posted April 17, 2010 Share Posted April 17, 2010 I don't think with me it's that I don't trust myself or my ability to pick people. I just expect the worst from women. I don't trust them for anything. I am not saying that is a good thing but it is what is at the core of many of my issues. I am hoping to one day get to the point where I could trust a woman until she gives me reason not to but still have the backbone to walk away when I am mistreated. Link to post Share on other sites
HeavenOrHell Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 Yes it's wrong to believe everyone cheats, me and my ex didn't cheat on each other in our 18 years together, only one of my ex's cheated on me once, I've had 7 partners/relationships. I would never cheat on anyone. I think only cowards cheat because they don't have the courage to tell their partner they're not happy and they look elsewhere before even discussing how they feel. I would say the majority of people don't cheat. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted April 18, 2010 Share Posted April 18, 2010 While I think everyone has the capacity to cheat, I don't think that **everyone** does. I've cheated on tests, I've cheated on diets, etc., but I've never cheated within a relationship. The only time I came close, was emotionally, but that was already after I was physically cheated on. The minute I thought about someone else romantically, it told me that the relationship I was in, was dead. There was no point in staying in a dead relationship, so I left for good. Link to post Share on other sites
thepulse27 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 The minute I thought about someone else romantically, it told me that the relationship I was in, was dead. Do you think couples who have been together for tens of years have never even thought of another romantically? And if they have is it a dead relationship? This is what I mean, once the initial puppy love phase is over, relationships take work; including emotionally and romantically. There is just no way you can go through life never being aroused or intrigued by anyone else. Link to post Share on other sites
CLC2008 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Do you think couples who have been together for tens of years have never even thought of another romantically? And if they have is it a dead relationship? This is what I mean, once the initial puppy love phase is over, relationships take work; including emotionally and romantically. There is just no way you can go through life never being aroused or intrigued by anyone else. I think finding someone else physically appealing, is perfectly normal and it's something that both people in the relationship should be realistic of. Granted, if you're flirting it up with other people or eye googling them, of course it's bothersome as well as disrespectful. I don't expect my SO to not find other women physically appealing, but I would hope that would be the extent of it. I have two sets of family members who have been married for a very long time and I honestly don't know if they've ever thought of another person romantically. They will however be the first to say that relationships do take work on different levels, but that work has brought them closer as a couple, evolving with each other, and that's the key difference. Link to post Share on other sites
jlr Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Do you think couples who have been together for tens of years have never even thought of another romantically? And if they have is it a dead relationship? This is what I mean, once the initial puppy love phase is over, relationships take work; including emotionally and romantically. There is just no way you can go through life never being aroused or intrigued by anyone else. You're absolutely right, Pulse. People just don't get this. After the puppy love phase, love takes work. And sometimes it's messy. Sometimes it sucks. It's mixed with the same ups and downs that life brings us. But there are two kinds of people: There's those who are in a relationship and see some trouble, or start to be curious about things outside their relationship, and instead of trying to figure out where that comes from they run. They think, oops, that's it, must be dead. And there's those of us who think, well, yeah some things need work. Some things aren't perfect. But I love this person, and those aren't just words, so I'm gonna do all I can to try and make it work. And sure, we've all thought other people outside of our own BF's or GF's were attractive. That's nature. But that doesn't mean you have to act on it. Just because some other girl was cute, I knew it wasn't worth risking the girl I loved. Because you don't know what's behind that attractive person. They could be a sucky person. And I was happy loving the person I was with. But thinking someone else is attractive, or whatever, of course, that's normal. Link to post Share on other sites
Ilovecake Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Is this faulty thinking? Or is it just the harsh fact of life people hide from? I think saying people don't cheat is really naive. I think most do. A select few don't for different reasons. But I honestly believe most people DO. Is this wrong of me to think? Is it dangerous? You have to decide whether the happiness of being in love is worth the possibility of getting hurt. I think whenever you open up to any other person you open the door to great things but along with that you open the door to possible pain. My new motto in life is “you’re born alone and you die alone live accordingly”. Link to post Share on other sites
carhill Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 I think the OP wrote what was attributed to myself above..... Link to post Share on other sites
thepulse27 Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 But there are two kinds of people: There's those who are in a relationship and see some trouble, or start to be curious about things outside their relationship, and instead of trying to figure out where that comes from they run. They think, oops, that's it, must be dead. It's tough isn't it; finding out your partner isn't willing to work the way you have been for ages? I'd like to think they learn from it though. We all think back to significant relationships in our lives, and if we ended them for no real good reason then I imagine there will be some regret, or at least some sadness and curiosity, that comes with those memories. So hopefully they grow too. Of course some people go through life doing the same thing over and over, but if they turn out to be one of them then you're better off out of it. I understand the many reasons why people cheat, I just wish more people valued integrity over selfishness. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 21, 2010 Share Posted April 21, 2010 People..people... 'I will NEVER cheat'... this is soooo easy to say.. when you're in your 20s and have never been in a long relationship... Honestly... come back in 20 years and I bet you won't have the same idea of 'cheating'... I'll never cheat, I've been cheated on by two women one was my ex fiance and one gave me stds, and both broke my heart, i could never do that to someone. Link to post Share on other sites
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