ComeUndone Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Women know guys masturbate to porn and most of us do understand it's normal, but sometimes we feel threatened by it for whatever reason and just need some reassurance. Would you guys be willing to list some reasons we should not view our SO's masturbating to porn as a threat? Can you offer any words of advice to help us stop from feeling insecure about this?
EasyHeart Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 It has nothing to do with you, and it's better than him screwing other women. If it affects your relationship (ie, he stops have sex with you and only masturbates) then you have to worry. Otherwise, give him a little alone-time.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 probably better to put this in the sex forum, but for me personally it's a matter of laziness. Double clicking mozilla, entering adress, clicking link is easier than try to turn my woman on all the time, personally I don't do it often while in a relationship but most of the time it's when I simply don't feel like trying to get my GF to help. If everytime I wanted it I just walked up and expected it there would be a problem too.
TouchedByViolet Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Porn is fun and easy, plus it can give us guys ideas to bring into the bedroom. As long as your bf is having regular sex with you and shows he cares about you don't be worried he is looking at porn.
linwood Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I simply don`t understand how anyone can feel threatened by a video. There`s no competition between some slut on my screen and the woman in my bedroom.
ReadyforLove Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I don't think it should be a big deal unless he is watching it 24-7 and it is effecting his life with you. Otherwise, let him have his fun. My boyfriend watches porn and so do I, no biggie!
Jersey Shortie Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I simply don`t understand how anyone can feel threatened by a video. Because porn hits women at all those natural questions they have about men, women, their bodies, and how they perform in the bedroom. Because the women in the video represent an unrealistic fantasy ideal that men respond to. When you see your man responding to it, it's perfectly natural to wonder how you measure up when your man is showing that he likes something other women are doing or likes how other women look. I simply don't understand how anybody would be confused by porn getting any kind of reaction, no matter what it is. If a man can respond to porn enough to be turned on by it, even though it's just a video, it doesn't make any sense to say that other reactions to it isn't just as understandable. That would be like someone saying: " I simply don't understand how anyone can feel sexually turned on by a video." It's the message in the video that is key. There`s no competition between some slut on my screen and the woman in my bedroom. It's a multi-billion dollar industry. Men are spending more time looking at porn then ever before in history. I know men would like to believe that they don't value their porn but just look at the facts. Men do value their porn. .....and it's better than him screwing other women. So if a man can't look at porn he is going to screw around on you?
Jaytb Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Women know guys masturbate to porn and most of us do understand it's normal, but sometimes we feel threatened by it for whatever reason and just need some reassurance. Would you guys be willing to list some reasons we should not view our SO's masturbating to porn as a threat? Can you offer any words of advice to help us stop from feeling insecure about this? well think about this: If I play Grand Theft Auto and kill a lot of virtual people, am I a mass-murderer psychopath? I don't think so. GTA, like porn, is just a method of blowing off steam. If I kill virtual people, doesn't mean I want to kill people in real life, and similarly, if I watch porn and get off thinking about a pornstar, doesn't really mean I want to screw the pornstar.
EasyHeart Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Having sex and making love are two completely different things. I have never compared a woman to porn or porn stars and never will. Any guy who is looking for his girlfriend to act like a pornstar is not dating her for the right reasons.
A O Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Women know guys masturbate to porn and most of us do understand it's normal, but sometimes we feel threatened by it for whatever reason and just need some reassurance. Just talk to us, tell us what this 'whatever reason' is and we'll see if we can reach some sort of consensus. .
Enema Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I went through a few women before I found one I didn't "need to reassure". That's her problem. Just keep looking guys, there are secure, rational women out there that don't give a hoot that you use porn as long as they still get sexy time.
TheBigQuestion Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Just talk to us, tell us what this 'whatever reason' is and we'll see if we can reach some sort of consensus. . I second this. If you're not comfortable with your significant other watching porn, it's wise to talk to him about it. For most women though, the ones who are the most up in arms about their boyfriends watching porn tend to be more insecure, jealous, and possessive in general and isn't just limited to porn-watching. If a guy wants to avoid a headache in a relationship, he'd be wise to avoid these women altogether. There's a line that can get crossed where porn, like gambling, drinking, drugs, playing video games, or any other substance or obsession, can become pathological. As long as the man isn't jerking off all the time instead of having sex, it shouldn't be an issue.
Engadget Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Men are constantly horny. If you have sex with him, and aren't there 3 hours later and he's horny, he'll use porn. I've NEVER heard of women having an issue with porn until this site, and Jersey Shortie comprises the majority of the complaints.
Rorschach Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Men are constantly horny. If you have sex with him, and aren't there 3 hours later and he's horny, he'll use porn. I've NEVER heard of women having an issue with porn until this site, and Jersey Shortie comprises the majority of the complaints. My ex had a problem with it, she always made me feel terrible about myself whenever she found out, but now seeing that EVERYBODY does it and most girls don't care I'm glad I'm not with her anymore XD
ADF Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 I can offer my opinion, but I don't know if it will satisfy you. In my experience, women who ask questions like this usually harbor a deep, viceral hatred of porn. They despise porn in the way God is said to despise sin. Any attempt to explain porn viewing just makes them angry. But maybe that's not you. If it isn't, try to understand that a man's level of satisfaction with his partner has nothing--nada, zilch, zero--to with his interest in porn. Lonely, depressed men watch porn. Happy, fulfilled men watch porn. They only men who don't watch porn are dead men. Alfred Kinsey once wrote that 90% of men masturbated, and the other 10% were liars. The same is true of porn. If a man is with a partner who hates porn, there is really only one compromise that ever works. He has to pretend to never look at porn out of respect for her feelings, and she has to pretend to believe him out of respect for his.
alphamale Posted April 14, 2010 Posted April 14, 2010 Would you guys be willing to list some reasons we should not view our SO's masturbating to porn as a threat? Can you offer any words of advice to help us stop from feeling insecure about this? women are emotionally and mentally masturbating all the time...
Mr White Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 I barely think about porn, my gf is hot. Every once in a while I'd look, but mostly because I'm bored or to release the variety valve. Porn use per se is not threatening - it's pretty harmless, but it's also a matter of extent. There is probably a large grey area before it begins to turn into a problem.
Gemmi Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 I personally dont have a problem with porn etc and even enjoyed watching dvds with my otherhalf, but he did have a certain fetish that really annoyed me, it wasn't anything dodgy or weird but something that I just didnt do, but as he got off on it so much it just really used to p*** me off. I think as a woman, sometimes you just question that you are sexy..blah blah blah, but without being judgemental to men, they are very visual and dont actually read as much into it as we do!
Rorschach Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 I personally dont have a problem with porn etc and even enjoyed watching dvds with my otherhalf, but he did have a certain fetish that really annoyed me, it wasn't anything dodgy or weird but something that I just didnt do, but as he got off on it so much it just really used to p*** me off. I think as a woman, sometimes you just question that you are sexy..blah blah blah, but without being judgemental to men, they are very visual and dont actually read as much into it as we do! I have a certain kink that is flat out impossible to act out, when my gf learned of me looking at porn of it she always felt like she couldn't possibly live up, which I can understand her position but we as men don't look at it that way. C'mon it's just pixels on a screen to us XD
Gemmi Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 I have a certain kink that is flat out impossible to act out, when my gf learned of me looking at porn of it she always felt like she couldn't possibly live up, which I can understand her position but we as men don't look at it that way. C'mon it's just pixels on a screen to us XD Well, yeah thats how it was for me but in the end I thought, hey if thats what gets you off then cool because I knew I could always do better..Lol
Engadget Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 Women should never feel like their men watch porn because they're inadequate. That's not it at all. It doesn't mean the skank in the video is hotter than you either, because they're not.
alphamale Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 It doesn't mean the skank in the video is hotter than you either, because they're not. well sometimes they are
Rorschach Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 well sometimes they are Yeah sometimes they are, but there is something about the feeling of ownership of a girlfriend (I know I don't really own jack but still) that increases their attractiveness 10 fold. If I had to choose to look at a nudie of my gf and a nudie of a pornstar I'd probably go pornstar because they're PAID to look good in pictures. But for real life love I'd go with my GF for the emotional connection everytime.
dreamingoftigers Posted April 15, 2010 Posted April 15, 2010 I wish my H was more like you guys. He prefers porn to me. He even has gotten out of bed at 3 am to go look at porn when I was sleeping even though he knew he could wake me up. We didn't make love for months. I tried everything, eventually he told me "it isn't that you don't do enough, it's that porn is always fresh and new and even if you do new things it is still just you." "You have the nicest vagina I have ever seen in real life, but it can't compare to the images and the lighting that porn has." So for some women, like me, the insecurity might very well be justified.
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