randomguy88 Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 Hi, My girlfriend and I started dating about 7 months ago. Everything was going usual and happily. We use to see each other all the time and spent a lot of time together. I was just trying to spend time to get know her as much as possible. I usually work long hours so I always found time to see her sometimes late after work etc etc... Recently about a month a half ago, I noticed that I was not giving me enough time....like wouldn't call me during her luch braks etc etc. we started getting into arguments about anything and everything. We argued about small little things that actually don't even matter and I am going to be man and agree that I started them most of the times . These arguments turned into fights over the phones.....when we saw each other. At night when she called me...we started talking about the relationship problems and why we argued....and as a matter of fact she started to get annoyed with this. Last week she asked me that we should give each other some space...and I was like what the....but I tried to talk to her and she mentioned that she wanted some time to think about things what we may argue about but we still talked...hung out a couple of times but didn't talk as frequently as we use to. Today...I just went on a dating/matrimonial website and found her profile on there. I was very much surprised. I found out that someone last week...(when we are going through the tough times in our relationship) had contacted her. She had actually accepted the guy and then there is osme conversation going on between them. When I was with her yesterday, i noticed that she was checking messages on her phone secretly and also after she got home she made a secretive phone cal...(atleast that is what I assumed). I am confused how to as how to ask her, I asked her on Sunday is we are together and she said obviously...she also told me that she loves me, gave me a kiss on my cheek when we saw each other yesterday. Now should I ask her why she is talking to this random dude or I shouldn't. I wouldn't have mind if this random person was on facebook or twitter or something but this is on a serious relationship/ dating website. Please advice P.S. She also mentioned it to me the other day that she wants to take it a bit slow and does not want to rush into decisions about marriage and everything...because that is what we talked in the past initially because we are not getting any younger. Please advice Link to post Share on other sites
ADF Posted April 14, 2010 Share Posted April 14, 2010 When someone in a relationship asks for "space," it almost always means they've found someone else. Almost always. I don't know you, and I don't know her, so I cannot say for certain. But consider the possibility. Your GF is exhibiting all the signs of someone who wants out of the relationship but is too chicken to say so. The gradual pulling away, the nonsense about "needing space," the request for time to get her thoughts together--this all classic passive-aggressive stuff. She wants out, but wants to spare herself the trouble of haing a difficult conversation with you. However, it sounds like you might want out, too. What were you doing on this dating site if you weren't looking for someone new? Maybe you guys ought to admit that your relationship is over. Link to post Share on other sites
Author randomguy88 Posted April 15, 2010 Author Share Posted April 15, 2010 Hi Thanks for the reply.....I really would like things to work out. Actually I went on the website to cancel my profile that I previously had prior to meeting her. I actually talked to her yesterday about his and she mentioned that has not even logged in that website for ages. I didn't believe her at first because the website showed that she is active. Upon telling her that she is active on it, she replied saying that a lot of people including one of her best friends has her password so may be they went and logged in her. The only question I have is that she accepted some other guy's interest and I would like to confront her about his but do not know how? She also seemed a bit nervous and we got into another fight.....and it truned out pretty ugly...things from past came up and also she asked me if I trust her.... I was quiet...When I asked her If she want to be in this or not she said she doesn't know....although she also mentioned that she would like things to work out...so I am really confused on what to do.. Link to post Share on other sites
EmperorR Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 The attention brings her excitement etc., dump her she's already left the relationship just emotionally detaching before she drops the bomb Link to post Share on other sites
phineas Posted April 16, 2010 Share Posted April 16, 2010 Yeah, "her friend" is using her profile & picture to hook up with guys on a dateing site. Do you actually believe that crap? I sadly did believe the crap my cheating wife told me because I desperatly didn't want to believe it. Tell her YOU need space. Then fall off the face of the earth & do not contact her again. She will either forget about the other guy & come running back or you will never hear from her again. Link to post Share on other sites
Author randomguy88 Posted April 18, 2010 Author Share Posted April 18, 2010 Hi....so here's the story. I haven't called /texted her for like 4 days. Her best friend got married this weekend so I am assuming that she was busy with that. So i gave her all the space that she wanted to.....atleast that is what I am hoping. She never called me or texted me either during this time. How much more longer should I wait before I call/text her. Or should I play along and wait to hear from her. I really love this girl and want things to still work out. I just don't want things to get uglier between us and don't want us to hate each other. . Should I wait longer/give her more time and space or should I call her. In case she calls/texts me then should I even bring this up or should I wait until things are a little settled. Please advice.... Link to post Share on other sites
mark982 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 leave it be,don't contact her. sure iy's hard but by chasing her you actually push her away. Link to post Share on other sites
seibert253 Posted April 19, 2010 Share Posted April 19, 2010 Hi....so here's the story. I haven't called /texted her for like 4 days. Her best friend got married this weekend so I am assuming that she was busy with that. So i gave her all the space that she wanted to.....atleast that is what I am hoping. She never called me or texted me either during this time. How much more longer should I wait before I call/text her. Or should I play along and wait to hear from her. I really love this girl and want things to still work out. I just don't want things to get uglier between us and don't want us to hate each other. . Should I wait longer/give her more time and space or should I call her. In case she calls/texts me then should I even bring this up or should I wait until things are a little settled. Please advice.... Sorry to say this dude. It's done, over, finished. "Need space" = I'm interested in someone else, but want to keep you hanging around in case the other person isn't the man of my dreams. Then I can continue to play this game until someone else does come along. Friends using her profile on a dating website. Please, Stevie Wonder can see she's full of sh#t. IMO you need to continue NC. As far as you're concerned, she fell off the face of the earth. It's time to move on. Next! Link to post Share on other sites
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