Just a stone's throw Posted April 20, 2010 Share Posted April 20, 2010 Good to here it Heather! Each day is a new day. I have learned about boundaries too and it has already come in handy. My new supervisor is a really super nice guy and he and I have hit it off in a very "friendly and professional" manner. He is happily married with 3 kids and while I am friendly with him and can joke around with him I see myself putting up a little wall here and there to indicate where we have to stay as friends and colleagues. I would never want to put a mm in a position again to make a choice like that nor put my marriage at risk by making another bad choice. I don't believe in "once a cheater, always a cheater". I don't like the term "reformed" either. Not exactly into labels at all. Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heather1 Posted April 20, 2010 Author Share Posted April 20, 2010 I guess it is all about the boundaries, and I had really good ones before I met him. I even did with him for awhile, and then a series of events happened to make the wall crumble & there he was. I don't think it could have been anyone, I'd let him in more than I do most people so wasn't an if stressed = then affair. It was more like attraction + friends + spending fun time together + admitting the attraction & the final ingredient + CRISIS = PA. It was perfect timing for him. No, I know exactly what happened & how it started & I won't be putting myself in that situation ever again. I don't really regret it either, I know that sounds bad. Maybe it's one of those "been there, done that" & now I get it things. I don't think I really understood what was going to happen once we got started. I knew it was going to be painful, etc. at some point but besides getting caught & all that goes with that I didn't understand the dynamics of an A. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a stone's throw Posted April 26, 2010 Share Posted April 26, 2010 8 weeks???? Really that is so awesome!! You go girl!! Keep up the great work!:D:D:D:D Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heather1 Posted April 27, 2010 Author Share Posted April 27, 2010 Funny you should say that, I was thinking about that movie the other day! I had a weird encounter yesterday w/ a guy I dated before my H & hadn't seen him in 10 years. We went to dinner, talked for hours, it was sweet (don't worry, no sparks a flying on my end). Speaking of movies, I've had many "Lost in Translation" moments during my M. Maybe I just wanted to see what it would be like not to be in that situation for once? Well, I did, & I like the 1st one better. I think that shows more caring, love & respect than what I went through. Old BF also mentioned a gift I gave him for his 30th b-day. I was so touched he remembered that & kept it. He'd never given me a gift, except a beautiful picture he took of me that's still one of my favorite pictures. Just kind of a nice day.....I really needed it!! I'm feeling a lot better!!! Link to post Share on other sites
Just a stone's throw Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 I'm having major internet troubles!! Just lost my whole post!! Anyway, Good to hear from you and glad you're doing better! I love Lost in Translation! One of my favorites! Sophia Copola made everything look so surreal. Made me even want to go to Tokyo! (not a destination that is high on my travel list). Still wonder what Bill Murray's character whispers to Scar Jo's at the end of the movie. Glad you had a good dinner with your ex. Nothing like a little social interraction to make you feel good. I get that with some of my "platonic relationships" with co-workers. Makes you feel good to be appreciated without any strings attached. I'm officially one FULL WEEK NC! That's official NC, not obligatory. I thought of a few reasons to contact him today though (DOH!!) but refrained! Yeah Me!! We'll get there yet!! Link to post Share on other sites
Author Heather1 Posted April 27, 2010 Author Share Posted April 27, 2010 That's great!! I swear, it's the hardest thing to do but what's really hard is to think a clear thought when they're messing with your head. Good for you! I hope I can help as much as you've all helped me. BTW, x-bf wasn't looking so hot! Besides a few wrinkles, I look the same. Felt really good. Link to post Share on other sites
Just a stone's throw Posted April 27, 2010 Share Posted April 27, 2010 Even flippin' better!! You all have been more help than you'll ever know! Such support here. I think if I would have found this site early on in my R with exMM I would have likely ended it on my own and much sooner. I just had no one to talk to about it who could talk some sense into me. Though I do believe things happen for a reason. So I found LS at the right time, right when I needed it. It's all good. JAST Link to post Share on other sites
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