Clueless but improving ;)

[PlzDelte]

*Sorry for long post*

Roysh... I am 14 and quite alot of guys in my school are regularly in contact with girls (my schools all boys) but nobody lives near me and the schools really good so I only actually do extra curricular activities there, as there is such a range of stuff. So ye, I am ,as the title says, abit clueless...well not clueless but lacking confidence etc etc.

 

I take the train home and I was in a group of I'd say 8-10 guys, all my friends, just having a laugh. This guy from my year I am not great friends with (I don't really hang out with) started talking to this alright girl, I must say (who he knows from like a disco or something) and then got off. Some other people had got off while they were talking. The seats on the train are four seat slots (two facing two) so 4 of my friends sat down, while I just stood kinda beside the seats leaning on the separater wall thing (ok bad explanation I'll get to the point)... I was left standing beside her, but facing my friends, but she was kinda near me. Now I aint great looking at all and I thought she was pretty decent. I kinda had a feeling she was looking at me or 'checking me out *cough*'..uuhh ye? and I kinda got the feeling she was listening to what I was saying , and my friends (and I know thats abit self absorbed but I try to be aware of the whole 'world revolves around me thing' and I never really expect a girl to be looking at me at all so, lol, quite a surprise). So I wasn't sure that she was, so when one of my friends got off I got a seat that was facing her direction and I caught her looking at me, yup, split second of awkward eye contact where the world seems to slow down ALOT...lol...

 

Now that this has been badly explained, should I have, when I was standing near her, tried to strike up a conversation (had the generic one in mind, 'Do you like "friend that was talking to her 's name") or just done what I had done which was go sit down.

I had measured up the pros and cons to be (you see this is me, when I get bored I analyse things)

Pros: would actually talked to a girl that may have been interested in me..for the first time in my life..I know..sad.

Cons: made a total knob out of myself infront of her AND my friends by saying something stupid or starting a really awkward conversation that she doesnt want to be in.

 

If you read this 1. Thank you VERY much, you deserve a medal, and 2. I am not how I actually come across here thank god. Ddont just ppl on blabbering n00b (at life) encounters lol

[Ronni_W]

Hey Clueless. No, just kidding -- you're looking to get clued-in, and that's the important thing, yes?

 

First off, I'm guessing that she already had a seat by the time you sat down, yes? Or at least that you offered the seat to her before you plonked your own ass down on it.

 

But I digress. Yes, when you had the chance, you could have struck up a conversation with her...but NOT about some other guy!!! (If that's what you were gonna do, it's way better that you just went to sit down )

 

You can never go wrong asking questions about the other person -- NOT personal questions such who they may be crushing on, or other 'sensitive' areas...this is especially important if you're just getting to know them.

Stick with general-interest areas: What sports / movies / teams does she like? What kind of music / comedy? Which bands / comedians? Has she seen <whatever> movie or been to <whatever> restaurant? -- how did she enjoy it? (If she hasn't but you have, tell her what you thought of it.) What are her fave hobbies / interests / extra-curriculars?

What countries would she like to visit someday? What about those ones appeal to her? Has she figured out any life goals yet? What does she like to do for fun and relaxation?

 

Like that, see?

 

And when she asks you stuff, just be natural (or try your best to act that way ) and answer honestly. Don't be afraid to let other people know who you are, what you think, your likes and dislikes, etc.

 

Don't worry about who is or isn't "checking you out" -- just be normal friendly with everybody and it will soon become obvious to you when there is an "above normal" attraction going on.

And give up on that "awkward eye contact" crap! Just smile and then slowly turn away -- like a normal person, ya know?

 

You won't come across like a knob, I promise.

 

Now on to the important stuff -- just mail my medal c/o LoveShack. Please and thanks.

[Pedigree]

I'll give you props for wanting to take action now. I went to a boys school as well and once I got to uni, I was clueless as heck because my "looking for signals" radar has dulled. So, good on you!