am I being a sore ass

[Nat23]

I have been with my girlfriend since high school some 5 years now. She is a work out buff and so I became one too. Last year I had a construction job injury (fell off a ladder) and really screwed up my hip. My legs turned into chicken legs from basically needing a wheel chair to get around at first then crutches for a period. I still have a big muscular construction worker upper body. Slowly I have been getting my legs back in shape but they are no where nearly as strong as before. Lots of physio but little substance relating to strength training. Heres the thing. Right now her legs are like way stronger than mine. I feel kind of pissed that my legs are so weak right now. Not her fault I know. Yes, my upper body is much much stronger than hers but I am having an ego issue with her being able to out squat me by a ton. Before my injury I could barely out squat her. Now I wonder if I will ever get my strength back. Heres the thing, I started back in the gym working out on my legs. I find it embarrassing to go to the gym working out with my GF in this condition so I started going to another gym. She is kind of up set with me that I won't go with her. She has called me a sore ass and that I need to suck it up and leave my bruised ego at home. I don't think she understands the embarrassment I feel working out with her when I need to take off 2 45's when we do squats. Am I being a sore ass.

[Rorschach]

I have been with my girlfriend since high school some 5 years now. She is a work out buff and so I became one too. Last year I had a construction job injury (fell off a ladder) and really screwed up my hip. My legs turned into chicken legs from basically needing a wheel chair to get around at first then crutches for a period. I still have a big muscular construction worker upper body. Slowly I have been getting my legs back in shape but they are no where nearly as strong as before. Lots of physio but little substance relating to strength training. Heres the thing. Right now her legs are like way stronger than mine. I feel kind of pissed that my legs are so weak right now. Not her fault I know. Yes, my upper body is much much stronger than hers but I am having an ego issue with her being able to out squat me by a ton. Before my injury I could barely out squat her. Now I wonder if I will ever get my strength back. Heres the thing, I started back in the gym working out on my legs. I find it embarrassing to go to the gym working out with my GF in this condition so I started going to another gym. She is kind of up set with me that I won't go with her. She has called me a sore ass and that I need to suck it up and leave my bruised ego at home. I don't think she understands the embarrassment I feel working out with her when I need to take off 2 45's when we do squats. Am I being a sore ass.

 

Yes you're being a sore-ass to the max. The true meaning of being a man is not lifting more, it's sucking it up and doing what you don't like anyway. Go back to the gym with your girlfriend, stop being a prick.

[Nat23]

Fare enough, but easy for you to say. I am very disproportionate right now. My upper body is all muscular but my legs are almost chicken leg like now. Picture a guy at the gym with his girl friend. He bench presses 245 for 6 reps then struggles with a 135 squat for 5 reps. I used to squat 245 for reps. Then picture his girl who benches 115 for reps, walk up to the same squat rack, adds two 45's and squats 225 for reps. So I would rather go to a different gym on my squat day. I don't think that's all that unreasonable.

[Jilly Bean]

I think your gf is terrifically insensitive. Has she always been this competitive?

 

You are recovering from an injury, so you need to give yourself the time to get the strength back. Muscles have great memory, so it WILL happen. I'm just worried you'll feel like you had to squat 600 to compete with her and then blow your back (or anal ring - lol) out.

 

I think if she wasn't such a douche about it, working out with her wouldn't be so awkward for you. I can totally see why you want to work out separately. It's one thing to (temporarily) feel off your game, or less manly, but a whole other when your woman is calling you names. NOT liking it.

[Arabella]

How is that her being insensitive? All she has said, according to the OP, is to leave the ego at home. If anything, she's the one trying to get HIM to stop being competitive about it! She just wants to work out with him again. That's hardly unreasonable.

 

OP, seriously... she's right. Stop being competitive. You've had an injury and it's normal that it will take you some time to recover. Instead of alienating your girlfriend, ask for her help! Obviously she's doing something right.

 

Best of luck in your recovery,

 

Arabella

[Ronni_W]

I feel kind of pissed that my legs are so weak right now. ... my upper body is much much stronger than hers but I am having an ego issue with her being able to out squat me

No, you're not being a "sore ass".

But you are engaging in the 'mental error' of comparing yourself unfavourably to others, which is causing you to devalue your worth, which erodes self-esteem and self-confidence, which causes you to feel even worse about your current physical conditioning, you start comparing again, etc., round and round. Bad, ugly, vicious cycle on which your mind is keeping you.

 

Have you considered getting some kind of help/support with your "kind of pissed" feelings, and other emotional fall-out from your accident and slower-than-you'd-like rehab?

 

I agree with Jilly Bean that your g/f is...not demonstrating compassion for where you are right now, as far as your self-image. (Notwithstanding that your self-image is being driven/distorted by your own mental error, "ego issue" and self-judgment.)

 

But. You've recognized that it is your own "ego issue" working to keep you feeling crappy about your (current) self...and yet you still choose to keep your warped self-image, be self-critical and limit yourself to having to go to a different gym just because you don't yet have the strength in your legs that you used to have or that you're aiming for?

Are you sure how you're doing it is making sense to you?

 

In any event, wishing you the greatest success with your rehab. I'd suggest staying positive will support you in achieving your goals well ahead of schedule

[make me believe]

Fare enough, but easy for you to say. I am very disproportionate right now. My upper body is all muscular but my legs are almost chicken leg like now. Picture a guy at the gym with his girl friend. He bench presses 245 for 6 reps then struggles with a 135 squat for 5 reps. I used to squat 245 for reps. Then picture his girl who benches 115 for reps, walk up to the same squat rack, adds two 45's and squats 225 for reps. So I would rather go to a different gym on my squat day. I don't think that's all that unreasonable.

 

Dude, nobody is paying that much attention to you and your GF at the gym. You have a legitimate medical reason for not being able to squat as much as her. Get over it or keep going to the other gym. I think you're being ridiculous though.

[CarrieT]

Dude, nobody is paying that much attention to you and your GF at the gym. You have a legitimate medical reason for not being able to squat as much as her. Get over it or keep going to the other gym. I think you're being ridiculous though.

 

Totally concur. Do you go to the gym for yourself or do you go to be gawked at (which is in your mind?)

 

Get over yourself, dude.

[Nat23]

Great comments...mixed but helpful. I think she should give me more encouragement and support if she wants me back doing squats with her. Being a hard ass about it isn't going to work. She did fine with one of her girl friends when I was not able too. She maintaned her strength and helped get her Girl friends squat up to 155 pounds for 8 reps. How... by being supportive. Dealing with a person with an injury and a healthy person is completely different.

 

She would rather squat with me (which I appreciate ) but I can't afford to push it too hard right now. I would likely deviated from my program just too try to catch up and risk re-injury. This is another fear.

[linwood]

Your girlfriend is right.

 

Suck it up whiny boy.

[SincereOnlineGuy]

(some of me wanted to skip right over this thread, like I usually would)

 

 

 

This has so little to do with who lifts what, and how much more than the other.

 

 

The bottom line is this:

 

 

 

IF this sought-after, regular workout girl is entirely supportive of you getting your ass to the SAME gym at which the two of you have always worked out... THEN you get your ass there to at least SEEM like a confident, worthwhile companion to her.

 

It doesn't matter whether you have only one limb remaining in such a case. You take THAT limb to THAT gym and you spend time WITH your girlfriend. At such point as when she opts not to give you the same amount of attention and companionship while at the gym in the future, as she did in the past, then you take her to task for it.

 

For NOW, this is a no-brainer, but you have to take a deep breath and return to the scene.

 

With so many egos at the gyms in the western world, the last thing you want is to be perceived by your girlfriend as having lost whatever confidence you originally thought you gained for having done all of this working-out in the first place.

[Green]

So is ur gf using some kind of squating machine or bar that is on a track? or does she actualy take a bar and squate 200+ and then rerack it?

 

Look I think its kinda hot that ur gf is strong and you shouldn't let it get to you that her legs are stronger then urs. I'm sorry if she is being insensitive but you need to be the man capable of confronting her as her equal and not run and hide at another gym.

 

Just keep working out and don't worry about how heavy the weight is, you life what is right for you.

 

I'm not in great shape right now and when I go to the gym I see plenty of girls lifting more then me. I don't let it get to me. You know that you could kick ur gf's ass if you wanted, think about how you get to pound her between the legs and cum inside her the next time u start worrying about how strong her legs are.

[skydiveaddict]

I was gonna post an argument in your favor Nat, but SOG's post was too hard to refute. Just go to the gym and work at it. Your legs will come back quicker than you know

[Ronni_W]

She would rather squat with me (which I appreciate ) but I can't afford to push it too hard right now. I would likely deviated from my program just too try to catch up and risk re-injury.

It is going to be YOUR free will choice if you do anything stupid that will interfere with your rehab or cause a re-injury! Doesn't matter which gym you're at, to act smart or dumb. Only matters if you're going to give in to any ego-driven, childlike competitive tendency that you know could potentially cause harm.

 

Make sure that you have a professionally designed physio program, share it with your g/f so she's informed about your current limits, and then just leave your ego in the parking lot and stick to your program.

 

Or. Do not be influenced or manipulated to go do squats at a place in which you're uncomfortable for whatever reason. Just go to whatever gym you want and get healthy...but then also stop second-guessing your decision, stop judging yourself, and stop questioning whether or not you're a sore ass.

 

Make whatever decision will serve you and your ego best, and will score you best rehab in shortest time...and be done with it. Why not?

[Nat23]

"Green" Just for you. Yes, she can squat the real thing and rack it. She goes parallel with 225lbs. First set usually 4 or 5 reps all on her own. Next few sets she needs alittle help. She had strong legs right out of high school. The fact that she had stronger legs than most of the guys in high school (including me) was what movitated her to become a gym rat. It took me awhile to catch up to her the first time (yes, it bugged me abit then too and I went to another gym for a time). Ok Ok I hear it. She privately makes jokes about the guys in the gym who avoid the leg work. Half don't do legs at all. All upper body muscle and no leg strength. Now I am one of them. Grrrrrr.

[norajane]

Picture a guy at the gym with his girl friend.

 

No one is looking at you. Seriously. This is YOUR problem in YOUR head.

 

If you don't care that your gf is working out alone where she could meet a guy who isn't so competitive that he'd be happy to work out with her, that's also YOUR problem. Go have fun with your gf at the gym. If you don't, some other guy will.