These jealousy issues are really getting out of control

[mniky85]

My exboyfriend and I have been broken up for a year. Long story short...I'm 19 and he's 23. We stopped talking, started talking again, and now he is over in Germany with the air force. He was in community college and had a part time job, and I was attending a pretty decent school before he left. While seperated he got a full time job on his base and started making decent money. While he was over in Germany he bought a BMW and I just can't seem to get over this. I can't put my finger on as to why I am so jealous, but maybe it's because my dad works at GM so we try not to buy foreign cars or because my brand new car was less then $20,000. We aren't together anymore, but we kind of talk like we are. I don't know why I am so mad at this issue, I just don't like knowing that he is more successful than me. He doesn't have a degree, I am 19 and am 2/3 away from getting a pharmacy degree and whenever I think about the subject I just get so mad that he is further than me in life. I say anything to cut him down because I don't like knowing he is better than me. I will say things like "well if you didn't have the friends you had you wouldn't even think about buying that because you're just trying to impress them" or I will say "well I want a guy who has his priorities straight and actually lives in his own house (not apartment) before he has a nice car. I know this sounds pathetic, because it is. But what can I do? I need serious help on this petty issue. I'm sorry guys I'm not always like this, and I'm not a bad person, I just feel so humiliated about this.

[D-Lish]

You're only 19... In 4 years when you are his age you will be done school, working, and making a decent wage.

 

I don't know why his minor success makes you jealous, but it's irrational.

 

You're being mean, It's a wonder he even continues talking to you. You can't always control the way you feel, but you can control how you respond to those feelings. If you treat every man you have a relationship with this like this, you won't have any success dating.

 

It's simple, when the urge to say something mean happens, control it.

[Sazerac]

Was there a lot of competition between you in your relationship? If so, that is likely a large part of why you feel threatened.

 

But cutting someone down to build yourself up never works. It's a lose-lose spiral. As D-Lish pointed out, you are just 19 and in school. Where was he when he was 19? And where will you be when you are 23? If you're going to have a pharmacy degree, you'll probably be making a lot more money than he will.

 

But really, what difference does it make? The important thing is that you are happy about *you*. Concentrate on making your life the best you can. Find another boyfriend (if you don't already have one) that you are more compatible with. Keep up your grades. Get involved in campus organizations (do they have a Kappa Epsilon or Kappa Psi professional pharmacy fraternity at your school?) Anyway, I'm sure you get the picture.

 

Best of luck to you!