Steve2usa Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 The first call came on Friday just before I had to go to work. She said she was no longer mad (Whatever she was mad about) as long as we did'nt talk about the relationship. We chatted for about 20 minutes, talking about everything else under the sun. Some of her comments were surprising to me though. She inadvertently accused me of having sex with a friend who was there to consol me after she broke my heart and then at the end of the call she said she would call me the next day and see if I wanted to do something if I already did'nt have plans (the tone of voice was if I did'nt have a date). Just to back up a little I did go out on a date last tuesday with a gal I met and have seen this girl several times since, although we talked and I told her I was not ready to jump into a relationship with anyone and that I would like to just get to know her better and go out and have fun and see what happens down the road, which she was more than willing for. I wonder if my ex caught wind of this date? Today I got home from watching the Football games (GO New England), and there were 3 messages from her, one saying she would try me later, the second appologizing for not calling me the next day like she said she would and the third saying she hated having to call anyone more than once and that she wasn't calling anymore. I returned her call and told her where I was at (I had my cell phone, don't know why she didn't call that), and that she could call me tommorow because it was late and I have to work early in the morning. She said she would and I hung up. So.....Now what? I love this girl with all my heart and soul, but do not want to get hurt by her again if she goes off in another one of these moods. Plus I met someone nice I would like to know better. I am so confused right now I don't know if I'm coming or going. Help Please..... Link to post Share on other sites
trulyme Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 I think first you should calm down. I would give anything to be in your position right now. Hmmm, the ex wants me again and I met a great girl. You know what your gut is telling you to do. You said it yourself, you have feelings for your ex. If another girl is not putting the flames out from the ex, then something needs to be resolved there. I think you told the new girl the right thing by telling her that you want to take it slow and your getting over somethings. I don't know what it was that you hated about your ex or how old you guys are. That would help. But I think ultimately if you still think about your ex, work on that. Weigh out the pros and cons and give it some more time. Nothing wrong with telling the ex to hit the breaks a little harder and let you think. Be thankful you have the ball back in your court. Just choose the play wisely. Link to post Share on other sites
Marty_McFly Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 The tone of your first conversation, when she accused you of sleeping with someone, as well as her comment on the third voicemail, suggests to me that she may be calling out of jealousy rather than really wanting to get you back. I think you are in one of two situations: she's either trying to make you out to be the "bad guy" to feel better about herself and try to put everything on you, or she's wondering if maybe she made a mistake and is realizing that the "point of no return" is nearing, the chance to correct the mistake may be slipping away. When you talk again, I would try to guage which of these two scenarios is actually happening. I think if it's the first, you'll realize pretty quickly because the conversation will probably be mostly her accusing you of things. If it's the second one, do as Trulyme says in the second paragraph. However, I think you should continue seeing the new girl, if you're interested, as long as you don't let it get too serious until the other stuff is sorted out. Your ex still probably has to do some things to prove to you that it's not just short-lived jealousy, and you wouldn't want to throw away a promising new relationship and that find out that your ex was just jealous. Link to post Share on other sites
mandrews1119 Posted January 19, 2004 Share Posted January 19, 2004 Hey, I'm happy for you Steve. You really are in a position that most of us who are trying to reunite are enviable of. The advice you have been receiving is very good in my opinion. As stated, your heart is telling you the deal, you still have feelings for your ex. Those have to be resolved honestly BEFORE you can be fully confident in your next move in life. Any new person who really cares about you will understand that. In fact they will probably be glad for the heads-up. And they will be there for you if they really care once you come out of the other experience. With your ex, you have to make sure you both are giving it a sincere effort to make things work (if that is your decision). That must be determined first. The good part is that you have the opprtunity to do so, which is more than a lot of us get at all. Keep your eyes open, and be honest and open and upfront with your ex, and insist she do the same, so you are not misleading each other. It shouldn't take too long to see if you two can at least attempt the repairs needed, you know each other. Just remember it will take time. The mere fact that the two of you are in this position means there is something there to work with. best of luck!! Link to post Share on other sites
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