Can't get over her

[Confused]

How do you get over a girl that broke your heart even though you know everything about the relationship was wrong? I'm older than her by fifteen years. I was her instructor. We almost married after a short time together. We had a wonderful time until she decided to cheat on me. We have tried to be friends but all I want is what we had before. I know it was all wrong for a good relationship, and have stopped seeing her. I just can't seem to get over her. I know that the whole relationship was wrong and could never be. It has been over a year of on again off again. Its been two months without any contact, and now it looks like it might start again. I am tired, and want off this ride. How do I get over this?

[Angel]

How do you get over a girl that broke your heart even though you know everything about the relationship was wrong? I'm older than her by fifteen years. I was her instructor. We almost married after a short time together. We had a wonderful time until she decided to cheat on me. We have tried to be friends but all I want is what we had before. I know it was all wrong for a good relationship, and have stopped seeing her. I just can't seem to get over her. I know that the whole relationship was wrong and could never be. It has been over a year of on again off again. Its been two months without any contact, and now it looks like it might start again. I am tired, and want off this ride. How do I get over this?

I think that the best thing for you to do, it to make sure that the relationship does not go back to what it used to be. Friendship is fine, but anything more would be wrong for you. You said it yourself, even though you want this girl back, it's all wrong for you. It is unfortunate that our hearts do not allow us to choose who we fall in love with. But just because we can't choose our emotions, does not mean we can't choose our actions. In your heart you may feel that she is what you want. But in yoour head, you know that the best thing for you to do is to move on. It's so much easier said than done, I know that; but just remember, if you keep going back, you'll never heal. You have to break the pattern and move on. Give yourself time to heal. Unfortunately, that's the only way to get over it. Time!! Good luck.

[Pete]

Oh man do I know this all too well. My ex also cheated on me with a good friend. That was 2 months ago and I have times where I miss her as well. But I have realized that she just wasn't the one and that I will meet someone who is the one. My advice would be to go out with other women. Its hard to start over I know and I hated it. But I have gone on a couple of dates and although neither has lead to anything it helped emmensly to be back out there again. You will learn that life does go on and this is not the end. The rest of your life begins now. There are several good books out there on how to get over someone. I read a great book called "Letting Go" by Dr. Zev Wanderer. It is fantastic. You will realize that you are not alone and that what you are feeling is normal.