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Should I tell her ?


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Okay a quick back history on the subject.. Was with my ex from age 14-21 (about 7 years total) and I moved out of state.. This was back in 2004.. She broke up with me 2 weeks after the move because of a LTR.. I moved back to CA 2 months later but she had a boyfriend.. She has been and is still with the same guy now (about 5+ years) but this guy (from my observation is in prison).

 

Back in the early part of 2005 I told her I couldn't JUST be a friend and stopped talking to her.. Well I got back in contact with her again for about 6+ months and we've hung out about 10+ times and usually go shooting and get coffee or after go to her place and hang out and watch TV..

 

I don't know what vibe to get from her because we laugh and joke around but still in yet she does have a b/f and I just treat the hang out as friends but I really do believe that this is the girl that I could have possibly married and had a future with.. Every time I see her it is fun but when looking at her kind of makes me sad about the situation 6 years ago and in retrospect I would have chosen a diff path..

 

Anyways this is over judging but about 3 weeks ago I hung out with (haha) another ex and ended up kiss her but I'm not into her for a relationship and that was the last time we encountered each other.. I told my ex about it via email in a casual chat and (like a dumbass) had mentioned that I had a few dreams with her included where we got back together.. She said (all via email) in reply "well you hooked up with that whore so that is that lol j/k" I was going to reply and say "well you have a boyfriend so that is that" but I didn't and just reinforced the fact that I wasn't interested in her that way..

 

I know I am overanalyzing things and we hung out on Friday but it appears when we hang out it is a bit odd.. I guess if I knew she were single I could flirt and gauge her response but since I know she has a b/f (who I think is in prison due to not being around for holidays in conversations for about a year) I treat it as she is taken etc but I don't know how long this guy may be in prison or what the case is..

 

I mentioned to her that it seems weird that her b/f is never there for holidays, her birthdays etc (by asking her what she was doing for holidays and no mention of him) and she said she would tell me in person or on the phone but I kind of just dropped it and never asked...

 

I really wanted to not make this a novel but there are soo many variants in the story but should I just ask her about the current situation and such with everything and possibly mention us trying to revive what we had in the past or what ? This kind of goes against everything I've embedded in myself as being a guy and the whole trying to be a mystery or not truely tell a female what you think but I am kind of thinking maybe she is in a similar boat and if I asked her straight up she would tell me straight up.. She may say " I only see you as a friend and I have a b/f" or she may say " I don't like the current situation and I would possible like to persue us reviving what we had" The hard part I guess is crossing that line but for now I treat her just like a friend because I don't want to cross the line and come off like I am looking for a relationship since she is in one but how do I know she isn't looking for more of a positive relationship..

 

If you took the time to read this and reply I GREATLY appreciate any input on the ordeal.. Maybe I am over analyzing this and should just treat our hang out as a "friends only" ordeal but we basically grew up from teenagers together and we both lost our virginity and other sexual encounters to each other (which I don't know if it matters) but I feel like we have a VERY STRONG history..

 

Sorry for the long post... :(

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I'm a little confused about the boyfriend. You think he's in prison just based on his absence at holidays? Have you met this guy? What do you know about him?

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I'm a little confused about the boyfriend. You think he's in prison just based on his absence at holidays? Have you met this guy? What do you know about him?

 

I believe he is in prison because for the last year when I've asked what are you going to do for x holiday she says she is just going to her relatives house.. She went to disneyland for her birthday and I asked who with and she said just her female friend, when i asked about her boyfriend she said no.. The ONLY reason I can see a boyfriend not being with his girl is either prison or if he is in the military deloyed.. I've never met the guy but know a little about him.. I know he is not in the military and since I've been over her place I have seen like manila folders with his writing addressed to her and "prison style" artwork at her place.. The reason a make a strong conviction on prison is that my mom has had a lot of friends in prison and they all made drawings and other prison type artwork and sent in letters..

 

 

I know it sounds totally ghetto but it is not to me and I see my visuals as evidence of this which is why I make the strong assumption he is in prison.. Why the hell else would you not hang out with your chick on holidays and her birthdays unless you were physically unable you know ?

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